Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Battle of Thermopylae/archive1

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Battle of Thermopylae[edit]

Very informative, well written, neutral, cites its sources and provides many references and outside links, goes indepth about the battle itself, the aftermath, why it was notable, and its impact on modern culture. --DA Roc 23:52, 18 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Strong object:

  • Lead is too short.
  • The level of inline citation is utterly inadequate for an article of this length. Such citation as is present is a confusing mix of footnotes and parenthetical references. Many of the footnotes are ambiguous or simply meaningless. ("VII, 202"? How is the reader supposed to know what this means?)
  • All the sections from "Oracle at Delphi" onward aren't real prose—much less "brilliant" prose—as they are composed primarily of extended quotes and lists of trivia.

This needs a lot more work before it can be featured. Kirill Lokshin 00:48, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • Object Besides all of the above, please put refs after punctuation. Prose also needs a lot of work. Here is a random section:
    • It must be noted the 110,000 Greek troops of Plataea did not include forces from Thebes, Thessaly and the northern Greek kingdoms, which, from a belief of inevitable Greek defeat and desire to save their land from destruction or hope for a change in the political status in Greece that would put them on top, defected to the Persian side after the Persian army advanced to their region.
  • It's hard to even wind my way throught that: by the time I got to the end I really wasn't sure what I had read. Sandy 01:08, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object. The article lacks appropriate detail in places and inline citations to identify its sources. For example:
    • Monuments at Site:
      • "There is an epitaph on a monument at site of the battle with Simonides' epigram, which can be found in Herodotus' work The Histories (7.228), to the Spartans:" When was this monument erected and by whom? Does the monument have a name?
      • The eight translations of the epitaph need inline citations to identify their sources.
      • "A note on translation: This should not be read in the imperative mood," Which of the eight translations does this statement refer to? The paragraph reads as though it may be a quote from a text?
      • “Visitor, please confirm to the Spartans that we indeed remained faithful to them until the very end …just in case someone else tells them otherwise.” This quote is presented without an explanation of its context and lacks a citation.
      • "Ruskin said of this epitaph that it was the noblest group of words ever uttered by man." A citation is needed to support this statement.
      • "Additionally, there is a modern monument at the site, called the "Leonidas Monument" in honor of the Spartan king." When was this monument erected and by whom?
      • Good luck with developing the article. Jazriel 10:28, 19 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Object I am responsible for the references (bofore my edits it had none) and I must say that I did not do a good job then since this was among my first works. I have been working on other aricles and I must say that I did not manage to get back to improving it. I intended to put up a paragraph on why Western historians believe it was 200,000 troops only, and then set it for peer review, not FA status. In it current status it is prematureIkokki 23:41, 23 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]