Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Cyclone Gonu/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Karanacs 19:37, 25 May 2010 [1].

Cyclone Gonu[edit]

Cyclone Gonu (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Toolbox
Nominator(s): Hurricanehink (talk) 04:26, 5 May 2010 (UTC) & Jason Rees (talk) 15:52, 5 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Cyclone Gonu was the strongest tropical cyclone ever in the Arabian Sea, was responsible for the every-so-often rise in oil price, was the strongest storm on record to hit the Arabian Peninsula, and one of the only to hit Iran. It was the costliest natural disaster in Oman, although unlike Katrina, their government was able to handle the crisis easily and promptly.

Hope you like the article! This is my first FA in a while, so hopefully it isn't in too bad of shape. I got some copyediting from other tropical cyclone project editors, but, as always, there could be things missing. Hurricanehink (talk) 04:26, 5 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comment—no dab links or dead external links. Ucucha 12:14, 5 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment - I can post a full review soon, but I noticed that Oman is linked nine times... –Juliancolton | Talk 22:00, 5 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments - Some random things I noticed...
  • However, oil prices rose early on June 5 because of concerns of disruptions caused by Gonu and the threat of further strikes in Nigeria, Africa's biggest producer. - Strikes from what?
  • The first sentence of the Impact section seems rather out-of-context.
  • In effort to prevent electrocutions, police workers sent text messages to residents which recommended residents away from certain streets. - Poorly worded. I'd fix it myself, but I'll see if you can think of a better way to construct it first.
  • http://mangalorean.com/news.php?newstype=local&newsid=45412 seems to not be a news article?

–Juliancolton | Talk 15:24, 7 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the comments, fixed them (the link was a news article, which I found a copy of in the wayback machine). Hurricanehink (talk) 16:10, 7 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sources comments: a few minor points:-

  • Newspaper/journal names require italics (see ref. 40)
  • There seems to be an inconsistency in the reference formatting betweeen refs 54 and 60, both Reuters
  • Ref 17: In the long title, you have corrected one of the source's spelling mistakes (meteorological for "meterological", but have left a jarring "it's" in place. Suggest correct both (or neither, with a [sic]).

Otherwise sources look OK Brianboulton (talk) 15:27, 12 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

K, I fixed the links. As for Ref 17, good catch. There's nothing in that article, actually, that we use, so I just put it down in the External Links, since it's still a good paper. Hurricanehink (talk) 17:13, 12 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments from Steve T • C I think this is do-able, although I have a few nitpicks (listed below), most of which are focused on the lead, which is a little "lumpier" than the rest of the article. I'm not a subject expert, or even someone with a great interest in weather articles, so please accept my apologies in advance for any seemingly-idiotic comments that follow:
Lead
  • "Cyclone Gonu (JTWC designation: 02A also known as Super Cyclonic Storm Gonu)"—a minor point to be sure, but readers unfamiliar with these articles will be faced with the immediate question of what the JTWC is. So you think it's worth linking here? And is there any reason "02A" is italicised whereas the other names are not?
  • "was the strongest tropical cyclone on record in the Arabian Sea, and is also the strongest named cyclone in the northern Indian Ocean."—tense inconsistency: it was the strongest in the Arabian, but is the strongest in the Indian? And "named" is almost certainly worth linking to Tropical cyclone naming instead of italicising the word.
  • Fixed though i linked it back to list of the most intense tropical cyclones instead.Jason Rees (talk) 23:38, 20 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and dissipated after moving ashore along southern Iran on June 7."—mild ambiguity. Someone could take that to mean that it dissipated after June 7. Not likely, I know, but recasting as "and dissipated on June 7 after moving ashore along southern Iran" is an easy fix.
  • Maybe replace "moving alongshore along southern Iran" too? It doesn't particularly reflect the drama of the event (in which 28 people died, after all). Perhaps "after hitting southern Iran"? (This is where my lack of subject knowledge becomes apparent; I'm sure there'll be a better TC-related term than "hitting".)
  • I reworded this to reflect the fact that it made landfall in Southern Iran.Jason Rees (talk) 23:52, 20 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Intense cyclones like Gonu have been extremely rare over the Arabian Sea"—if it's still the case, then perhaps simply "Intense cyclones like Gonu are extremely rare over the Arabian Sea."
  • "The cyclone caused about $4.2 billion in damage (2007 USD) and 50 deaths in Oman" / "In Iran, the cyclone caused 28 deaths and $215 million in damage"—28 deaths in Iran are more important to point out than $215 million worth of damage, but $4.2 billion in damage is worth more than 50 deaths in Oman? Again, a very minor point, but using a consistent reporting style helps the reader process the information less jarringly.
Meteorological history
  • "classified it Tropical Cyclone 02A"—not italicised here, but was in the lead.
  • Yea, I'll
  • "After maintaining peak winds for about six hours, the IMD downgraded Gonu to very severe cyclonic storm status"—dangling modifier.
  • Im not sure what you mean so ill leave it to Hink.Jason Rees (talk) 00:00, 21 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Preparations
  • "due to the threat of the storm ... due to the threat of the cyclone ... due to the cyclone."—a little repetitive; I think a couple of those could be removed, as the fact that the cyclone caused these closures and delays is by now implicit.
  • I removed one, but I think the first is needed for context, and the second is needed because the sentence would be too short without it. --Hurricanehink (talk) 01:56, 22 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Impact
  • "Cyclone Gonu began affecting the country with rough winds and heavy precipitation, with rainfall totals reaching 610 mm (24 in) near the coast."—following a comma with "with [noun] [x]-ing" is clumsy, and almost always better replaced with a semi-colon. For example, "Cyclone Gonu began affecting the country with rough winds and heavy precipitation; rainfall totals reached 610 mm (24 in) near the coast."
  • "with an additional 27 reported missing by four days after it struck the country"—not sure that quite scans. Perhaps preface it with a semi-colon, then, "by the fourth day after it struck the country, 27 people had been reported missing."
fixed.Jason Rees (talk) 22:12, 21 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "overall damage to the port of Fujairah was reported as severe. A boat sank by the port of Fujairah, leaving its ten passengers missing."—a little repetitive. Perhaps remove the second "of Fujairah"?
  • "the power outage led to some fires across the city of Chabahar"—repetitive with the previous "city of Chabahar".
  • "$216 million"—the lead says $215 million.
Aftermath and records
  • "The port of Fujairah in the United Arab Emirates reopened on"—again, repeating information we've just been told in the previous section. Just "Fujairah reopened on" would be adequate.
  • "The cyclone caused little impact to oil facilities along its path, and as a result, oil prices dropped over US$2 per barrel."—as worded, it doesn't quite fit with the previous mention of price rises. Perhaps add something like, "after the initial rises"?
  • Some overlinking in this section. No real need to link Oman again. And I don't think common English terms such as water tank, power outages and utilities need to be linked; they detract attention from the higher-value technical terms.
  • "Additionally, there were 139 buildings established to provide temporary housing for 8,192 people."—a little clunky. Either "Additionally, 139 buildings were established to provide temporary housing for 8,192 people" or if we have the agent, then we can go from passive to active voice: "Additionally, [somebody] established [built?] 139 buildings to provide temporary housing for 8,192 people."
  • Yea, I found the agency, and reworded for less clunkiness. --Hurricanehink (talk) 01:56, 22 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "As services such as water and electricity were restored, people returned to their homes, and by two weeks after the storm's passage, most of those remaining were from Qurayat, one of the villages most affected by Gonu."—a little long and winding. Perhaps split with a semi-colon instead of the "[comma] and"? Perhaps "one of the worst-affected [most severely affected?] villages" would be enough here too.
  • If I have a more general comment, it's about how the article is tailored in its structure to the intended readership. Who, in your opinion, are the most likely to visit the article? Meteorology students and experts, or non-experts? At the moment, it leans most heavily in favour of the former, as the technical details to do with its formation and whatnot come first. I'm not saying there's anything particularly wrong with that, but general readers, who presumably want to know more about the impact and aftermath, might be put off from reading further. I'm not suggesting that you have this article deviate from standard procedure, but how to make these more accessible is something that the TC project as a whole could consider. Overall though, this is good work. Best, Steve T • C 10:32, 20 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thanks for the review. I believe meteorology students and experts are the most likely to visit this article. Then again, Gonu is one of the more watched articles on the project, garnering about 54 views per day. You may be on to something, how articles could be more accessible. I'll bring it up with the other hurrikipedians. --Hurricanehink (talk) 01:56, 22 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Nice work. Sorry for taking my time getting back to this. I've struck all of the above; I think this is pretty close now. I'll be reading through it again tomorrow morning. Before I comment further, do you have access to the sources listed by Sasata; those that Jason can't access? It could leave niggling comprehensiveness issues if not. Best, Steve T • C 20:37, 24 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I think Tito managed to find them and has passed us relevant information below.Jason Rees (talk) 02:22, 25 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support Great article! Leave Message, Yellow Evan home

Comment Why not use these scholarly sources? The first looks especially relevant: Sasata (talk) 04:05, 21 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Title: Cyclone Gonu storm surge in Oman
Author(s): Fritz, HM; Blount, CD; Albusaidi, FB, et al.
Source: ESTUARINE COASTAL AND SHELF SCIENCE Volume: 86 Issue: 1 Pages: 102-106 Published: 2010
I cant access it so i cant read it and see if theirs anything to be added.Jason Rees (talk) 21:04, 21 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Title: Disaster Health Management: Iran's Progress and Challenges
Author(s): Ardalan, A; Masoomi, GR; Goya, MM, et al.
Source: IRANIAN JOURNAL OF PUBLIC HEALTH Volume: 38 Pages: 93-97 Published: 2009
nothing relevant IMO.Jason Rees (talk) 21:04, 21 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Title: Study of the intensity of super cyclonic storm GONU using satellite observations
Author(s): Krishna, KM; Rao, SR
Source: INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF APPLIED EARTH OBSERVATION AND GEOINFORMATION Volume: 11 Issue: 2 Pages: 108-113 Published: 2009
I cant access it so i cant read it and see if theirs anything to be added.Jason Rees (talk) 21:04, 21 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - Typical of meteorology featured articles, it has a certain quality that makes one want to keep reading. Engaging, well-written, and well-referenced article; solid work. ceranthor 20:00, 21 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support—well-written. Here's an idea—you guys are keen on dollar equivalents due to inflation, which is good. So why isn't there a link-target to such inflation equivalents—a listy article that gives the CPI-induced equivalent for each year? Or it could be each five years. I envisage that kind of table used for listing the distance between cities, with each city (here, year) listed along the left side (put your finger on the original year) and across the top (put you finger on the current year). Just choose both coordinates, and there it is: a 1975 US dollar is worth about $2.11 in 2010, or something like that. This would be more useful than the US Congress stuff in the USD article. You could pipe it to $ or maybe better USD. Tony (talk) 13:32, 22 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    Not sure about the list, but there is {{inflation}}, which attempts to do something similar to what you suggest. Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 21:27, 24 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support – I read through the whole article and it looked strong prose-wise. I did make a few copy-edits in one section, which you might want to check. I also found this sentence toward the end, which I have a question about: "The water returned to near normal in five days, as the two plants returned to service." Is the beginning meant to be "The water supply"? Other than that, nice job. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 00:29, 23 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment. It's been a while I've been here... the article is pretty good, but I'm not ready to support yet.
  • In the lede: "In Oman, where the cyclone was considered the nation's worst natural disaster" — Is there a reference for this? (The Fritz. et al. reference that Sasata dug up above has some information about this...)
  • It's a pretty strong statement, so cite it in the lede as well. Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 22:25, 25 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Use consistent currency conversions; in the lede you have US$, and farther below you have USD.
  • There was a 5.1-meter storm surge and a 200-meter incursion of seawater inland at Ras al-Hadd; 5.0-meter surge at Hail al Ghaf; 4.8-meter surge at Tiwi; 3.2-meter storm surge and beach erosion at Al Bustan (Muscat); 1.8-meter storm surge at Abu Abali; this is not documented in the article. (From Fritz et al.)
  • Now the units for that are all messed up. Meters are never abbreviated as M; their SI symbol is m. You can use the convert template for these measurements, as they are exact, and there are no issues involving accuracy and precision, like there are for windspeed measurements. Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 22:25, 25 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "When it attained very severe cyclonic storm status on June 3" — awkward phrasing. I'd recommend "when it became a very severe cyclonic storm on June 3"...
  • "Gonu was tied for the strongest tropical cyclone in the entire northern Indian Ocean" — tied with which storm?
  • I think its 1991 Bangladesh but i need to check further.Jason Rees (talk) 23:05, 24 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Urf the problem with the JTWC is they dont include pressure at times in their BT so ive removed the record.Jason Rees (talk) 03:05, 25 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
If they are tied for windspeeds, that would be sufficient. Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 22:25, 25 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Based on windspeeds its the strongest but having double checked the ATCR for 1991 i can confirm that it was unofficially tied with BOB 01 1991.Jason Rees (talk) 23:32, 25 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • You don't explain VSCS, but explain SCS in the following sentence. Why?
  • It is because Hink didn't want too many wind speeds, which would apparently get boring and confusing. Jason Rees (talk) 02:18, 25 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 22:10, 24 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Cyclone_Gonu/archive1&oldid=1091467676"