Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Karl G. Maeser/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 14:04, 24 May 2016 [1].

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Karl G. Maeser

Nominator(s): Amgisseman(BYU) (talk) 19:29, 23 May 2016 (UTC)

This article is about is about Karl G. Maeser. He was a German immigrant who became the second principal of Brigham Young Academy and is considered its founder. The academy later became Brigham Young University. He was also a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I expanded the article and it was peer reviewed by Nikkimaria. Amgisseman(BYU) (talk) 19:29, 23 May 2016 (UTC)

Not ready. I appreciate that a good amount of work has gone into this article, but in my opinion it is possibly at a Good article standard but a long way from FA standard. It consists of a lot of choppy "he did this, then he did that" statements and is lacking a smooth, well-written narrative. I'm concerned that the heavy reliance on institutional sources have produced writing like "Maeser turned the devastating fire into a lesson on pride. He had a dream that inspired the construction of new buildings for the Academy" which comes across as non-encyclopedic in tone. --Laser brain (talk) 11:57, 24 May 2016 (UTC)

Oppose and suggest withdrawal. The article is a valuable contribution but it is not of FA standard. It reads like a promotional piece in parts, (e.g. "It is the hope of both cities that the relationship will grow to include the exchange of delegations, including manufacturers, youth, academicians, scientists, artists, associations, clubs, tourists, technicians and others, which will result in enriching the cultures of the respective cities".) Elsewhere the prose lacks flow. I think there is too much work needed, which is best completed away from FAC. Graham Beards (talk) 12:15, 24 May 2016 (UTC)

• Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 14:04, 24 May 2016 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.