Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Rugby union at the Summer Olympics/archive1

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Rugby union at the Summer Olympics[edit]

I have done a lot of work on this article in the past month or so. It recently went on peer review as well. I feel everything has been covered and that it is ready to be an FA. Thanks. Cvene64 06:28, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • Conditional Support. The lead section needs to be a tad bit longer, but ev'rything else is fine. RyanGerbil10 07:08, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I included that it was at 4 of the first 7 games, and that the 7s game is played at the Commonwealth games. Is that alright? Let me know if anythig else can be improved. Thanks for your help. Cvene64 07:21, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment Maybe expand on other countries' performances. --Osbus 15:02, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I wrote a little more about Romania getting Bronze in 1924, is ther anything else you think I could expand on? Thanks. Cvene64 22:51, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object; the writing is not "compelling, even brilliant". The lead, for example, has many problems.
    • The "four times" thing is stated twice in the opening sentence.
Removed first mention.Cvene64 22:58, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • Many readers will not immediately realise that summer olympics began in the 20th century (not in ancient times), and must piece this together during the remainder of the first paragraph.
I added 'modern' before the Summer Olympics, is this kind of what you mean? Cvene64 22:51, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • "most recent attempts being in regards to" - this is a little clumsy. "the Rugby sevens version of the sport"; if "the sport" is rugby, isn't this repetitious? Should there be a link for "sevens"? Or quote marks? Avoid "events" in this context, since this also refers to individual matches/heats/races.
Now read The most recent attempts have been for the inclusion of the sevens version of the sport, which is played at similar competitions such as the Commonwealth Games. There is a link for sevens, and I don't think quote marks would be appropriate. Events->Competitions. Cvene64 23:03, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • The removal of the sport "after the 1924 games" is mentioned twice in two paragraphs.
I deleted the second mention of it being removed. Cvene64 23:06, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Please edit the whole article closely, with particular attention to repetitions such as these. Tony 15:10, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I will now go through the rest of the article and look for similar mistakes/things that can be improved. Thanks. Cvene64 23:06, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Ok. I think I havae rid the article of these problems. Multiple refernces to the nation/games/olympics/year have all been removed. I edited the rest of the article with the examples you gave above. Thanks. Cvene64 03:11, 22 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I have made further edits using your How to guide. Cvene64 03:45, 22 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Object Does not seem to be comprehensive. E.g. revival attempts should be described in much more details: when, how and by whom conctretely (NOC/IOC representative/etc.) were 1980 and 1988 attempts made? Why and how (voting of the IOC? other means?) did they fail? Cmapm 12:23, 25 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I have slightly expanded this information but I cannot make it anymore comprehensive than it already is right now, I emphasized that requests were made in 1980 and 1988, and added that the 1988 "requeset" was backed by the IRB, as well as adding a few more references. Cvene64 13:12, 25 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object. I note a lot of omissions and errors, which will attempt to correct myself. I have some other (better) references than just the internet as well. Jeronimo 16:32, 30 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I have now made several edits, but I think the article's still not ready. The structure may need to be revised a bit (a separate section per Olympics?), and some statements need to be checked/cited. The 1920/1924 sections are currently very US-heavy (although they won both tournaments, of course), and there is not a lot of information about the matches themselves. Another image would be great as well, but I've not been able to find anything. Let me know if you need any further help. Jeronimo 18:30, 30 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Wow, thanks a lot for your help! I'm going to post a message on it's talk. Thanks again! Cvene64 10:22, 31 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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