* Picture: "Barrymore in the 1920s or 30s" → I would say this picture is most definitely from the 20s.
- "together the family were known as America's "Royal Family" of actors" → "together they were known as America's "Royal Family" of actors" (eliminates "family" being used twice in one sentence)
- "... and Barrymore was "perhaps the most..." → "... and of them John was "perhaps the most..."
- "That year he also began to appear in full-length films, and he appeared in nine films between 1914 and 1918, all of them slapstick comedies." → "That year he also began to work in feature-length films, appearing in nine between 1914 and 1918, all of them slapstick comedies." (eliminates "appear" and "films" being used twice in one sentence)
- "During the 1920s his serious stage work transferred to film" → Really? This sentence makes it seem as if the stage plays he appeared in were made into films (which was certainly not the case).
- Terrible wording first time round: now re-worked - SchroCat (talk) 23:19, 11 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- "Such was the success of Hamlet, that Warner Bros. signed Barrymore up for a film deal." → "Such was the success of Hamlet, that Warner Bros. signed Barrymore to a film contract."
- I think it should be noted that Don Juan is historically important as the first feature with a recorded synchronized soundtrack and also that in two of his Warner Bros. films – The Sea Beast and When a Man Loves – he co-starred with Dolores Costello, whom he later married.
- I'm not sure about this: this is a list of his appearances and the key points that affected his career, rather than a full history of him (we don't, for example, cover any of his other wives here. At some point (after I've re-done a different biography) I hope to give the main Barrymore article a major overhaul (looking to a possible FA standard there), and this will, of course be covered there—I note Costello is paid scant attention in that article at the moment). In terms of Don Juan, I think the same is true: the National Film Registry entry is good (as would any Academy Award wins), but "first feature film with a synchronized soundtrack" seems a bit of a stretch. Again, this should certainly be in the main Barrymore article (it's only referred to there in an uncited manner in the lead). - SchroCat (talk) 10:10, 12 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- "After his discharge from hospital he..." → "After his discharge from the hospital he..." (Just "hospital" is, I believe, correct in British English, but "the hospital" is correct for American English. The latter, then, should be used as Barrymore was an American.)
- Odd: I thought it the other way round, as we always use the def article in BrEng: happily added now. - SchroCat (talk) 23:19, 11 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Yes; added, along with his Grauman's profile too. - SchroCat (talk) 11:45, 12 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Stage appearances: The Man From Home should be in italics.
- Film appearances: Unless new information has come forth, I believe the first four films listed are dubious credits. From what I've read, An American Citizen is generally regarded as Barrymore's official film debut but information came forth in 1969 stating that some now lost Lubin shorts from 1912-13 listed a "Jack Barrymore" in their cast although it is not certain if this is actually John Barrymore. I think, therefore, that the filmography could be sub-divided so that the first four films are separate from the remaining films and listed as dubious.
- I'm not sure they are dubious, and there are a few sources which list them, so I'd rather not lose them altogether. Instead I've added a more complete note to raise the point with people, which should cover it. – SchroCat (talk) 15:34, 12 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Radio broadcasts: No listing for the names of the characters Barrymore played?
Sadly not, just the info that is there. - SchroCat (talk) 23:19, 11 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]- What nonsense I speak! Going back to the sources again, I've found some of the roles, and added what I can. - SchroCat (talk) 15:55, 12 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Radio broadcasts: The third column is marked as "Channel" which, I believe is correct in the United Kingdom. However, "Network" is correct for the United States — Jimknut (talk) 22:53, 11 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Yep: missed one! (you can tell I'm British, can't you!)
- Many thanks for these Jimknut: I've done the straightforward ones, and will go back to my sources in the morning to go through the remainder. Many thanks for taking the time and effort here. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 23:19, 11 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks @Jimknut:, I think I've covered everything now, but let me know if there's anything else that comes to mind. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 15:57, 12 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Some more suggestions
- "That year he also began to work in full-length films, and he appeared in nine between 1914 and 1918, all of them slapstick comedies." → "That year he also began to work in full-length films, and appeared in nine between 1914 and 1918, all of them slapstick comedies." (Eliminates using "he" twice in one sentence.)
- "Although Barrymore appeared in a number of successful films in the 1930s, including Counsellor at Law (1933) and Twentieth Century (1934), his increasing alcoholism was leading to a poor memory and the inability to remember his lines." → *"Although Barrymore appeared in a number of successful films in the 1930s, including Counsellor at Law (1933) and Twentieth Century (1934), his increasing alcoholism led to memory loss and the inability to remember his lines."
- Thanks for the further thoughts: I've done 1, 3 and 4, but just want to check your second point against the sources. (I'm sure you're probably right, but just for my peace of mind!) Thanks again. - SchroCat (talk) 17:36, 3 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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