Wikipedia:Peer review/Blaine Anderson/archive1

Blaine Anderson

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to see it promoted to FA status. Frickative and I have put a lot of work into this article as a team, and I think it most certainly has FA potential. Any feedback would be much appreciated.

Thanks, HorrorFan121 (talk) 16:41, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

Comments from Bradley0110

• Lead
  • Paragraph two: The placing of "gay community" in quotes seems a bit cynical. I know it is presented like that in the cited source but it stands out unnecessarily, especially as it's only in the second paragraph of the article. Can you not just say "raised among gay people"? Same when the the quoted "gay community" appears later in the article.
  • Paragraph four: A blurry distinction between actor and character in the first sentences; it is mentioned the character has received positive reviews, then talks about Criss's acclaim, then goes back to the character. Maybe "Criss has received positive reviews from critics for his portrayal of Blaine; he has been labelled one of the series' breakout stars, and was awarded a Rising Star accolade from the Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association." Then keep the Blaine-Kurt info as is. That way the sentence topics are kept together without the need to jump around so much.
• Storylines: Some of the prose could do with pruning for flow, for example, "In the aftermath" could be recast as "After the kiss" or even just "Afterwards".
• Casting and creation
  • The same prose problems appear here: "Prior to the production of season two" would sound better as simply "Before the production of season two".
  • "Sam Evans (Chord Overstreet) was created to fill this role; however, according to Overstreet, Sam's storyline was adjusted to pair him with Quinn Fabray (Dianna Agron), as a result of the chemistry the producers detected between himself and Agron." So far it has been stated that a love interest for Kurt was just a rumour. It needs to be stated that the plot was confirmed, or just leave out mention of the rumour and simply state that a love interest was created. The sentence about the creation of Sam is a bit hard to decipher.
  • "In September 2010, it was confirmed that Criss would join the show in a "much-talked-about new gay role". "Confirmed" means to establish something that has already been suspected but there is no indication in this article or the Ausiello citation that this was the case. If it wasn't then "announced" would be better in place of "confirmed". "Confirmed" appears in the next paragraph as well.
  • The next paragraph is quite difficult to understand as it is contradictory. Is it not possible that it was down to misreporting by Billboard? If someone said Criss had signed as a regular and Criss himself said he hadn't, what's the point of including any of it in the article?
• Characterization: There's a lot of quotes in the first paragraph which would have the same effect if they were just paraphrased.
• Musical performances: Overall fine writing.
• Reception: Again, some quotes could be paraphrased and some one-word quotes don't need to be there (e.g. the "sweet" quote by Kevin Fallon can do without the quote marks).
• References
  • Some publishers are in brackets and some aren't; this needs to be consistent.
  • Website-only citations shouldn't be italicised (e.g., AfterElton.com, IGN)
• Images
  • File:Blaine-Glee.jpg: The episode the screenshot was taken from should be noted. The fair-use rationale mentions the Dalton Academy uniform but this isn't discussed in the text of the article (any comments about it from Criss at all?).
  • Can the thumbnails in the rest of the article be enlarged? 150px is quite small.

I can see a lot of work has gone into this article and the only thing I can see that is really stopping it from going to FAC at the moment is the language, which doesn't always flow. A copyedit from a third party should be enough to take care of it. I don't know if Blaine is going to be one of the characters dropped at the end of the third season but if he is there might be some good analyses of the character published then. Bradley0110 (talk) 14:33, 13 June 2011 (UTC)