Wikipedia:Peer review/Cocker Spaniel/archive1

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Cocker Spaniel[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe it meets the requirements of being a Featured Article, but want to check if I've missed anything technically.

Thanks, Miyagawa (talk) 19:10, 5 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Jappalang
  • Dablink (tool in the box on the right of this peer review page) shows a disambiguation link in the article; please fix the link.

Lede

  • "Cocker Spaniels were originally developed as ..."
    Should it not be "bred" instead of "developed"? Are living creatures developed?
  • "... with the term "cocker" coming from their use to hunt the Eurasian Woodcock."
    This noun plus -ing construct could have been better rephrased per User:Tony1/Noun plus -ing.
  • "... changes were made which enabled it to specialize ..."
    They manipulated the genes of the breed? Changes can be made to plans, descriptions, specifications, or such, but cannot be made to living things unless operations (or superficial appearances) are involved.
  • "... descended from Ch. Obo, ..."
    What is "Ch."?
  • "... the English variety are ..."
    "Variety" is singular.
  • "... which is not bred to a standard but by working ability."
    "... which is not bred to a standard but to working ability."?
  • Are the flags needed in the Infobox? Are nationalities that important for dog breeds? I truly doubt so. See also MOS:FLAG.

History

  • "... the hawking, springing or springer and the cocking or cocker spaniel."
  • I have to read three times before I realise "springer" is used as an adjective here. There should be a way to rephrase this sentence in a clearer manner.
  • "The maximum weight limit on the Cocker Spaniel would remain until 1901."
    "Maximum weight limit" in what? Classification? Physical characteristic (in which case how can it "remain"; I doubt it is a case of "it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, feels like a duck, but it weighs 5.5kg instead of 5kg so it is not a duck").

Modern breeds

  • "... the American is smaller with a shorter back plus a domed head and a shorter muzzle, ..."
    Why use the jarring "plus" instead of a comma?
  • "Cocker Spaniels coats can come ..."
    "Can" is redundant, I believe it is either "Cocker Spaniel coats" or "Cocker Spaniels' coats".
  • "... grandson of My Own Brucie was born all-white. My Own Brucie had won the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in 1940 and 1941."
    The second sentence is a bit out-of-place. How about "... grandson of My Own Brucie, a Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show winner in 1940 and 1941, was born all-white."?

English Cocker Spaniel

  • "... H.S. Lloyd's Ware Kennel, who won best-in-show ..."
    A dog breeder wins "best-in-show", not the dog? Why is "best-in-show" linked here but not in the first mention of the term (which was in the preceding sentence)?
  • "Their popularity has increased ..."
    Whose popularity? The English Springer Spaniel that was mentioned directly before this sentence? Or the two preceding breeds or all three?
  • "There is a split between the show strains and working strains in the UK."
    Be explicit here. What sort of split?

American Cocker Spaniel

  • "... with the Cocker Spaniel Club of America discouraging breeding between the two types in 1938."
    Noun plus -ing construct.
  • "... won best-in-breed on four occasions since first awarded in 1907."
    "... won best-in-breed on four occasions since its first award in 1907."
  • "... than its English cousin with only 322 registrations compared to the English Cocker's 22,211 in 2009."
    "Only" is redundant and possibly introducing bias.

Common health issues

  • "... with English Cockers living slightly longer, on average at 11 to 12 years."
    Noun plus -ing construct.

Sources

  • How is about-cocker-spaniels.com a reliable source?
  • Dr. Cassidy's studies seem to be a self-published source. Does the scientific community regard her research as conclusive? If not, why is the information cited to her site presented as fact?
  • The same goes for Dr. Smith of peteducation.com.

Images

  • File:111. English and Welsh Cocker.JPG
    On what page of The Dog in Health and Disease? Please fill in the information (publication details and such) on the image page. If you did not scan this, then note the site where the scan was obtained per WP:IUP and WP:CITE#IMAGE. The signature at the bottom left does not look like Stonehenge or Walsh; http://www.archive.org/stream/doginhealthdisea00wals#page/114/mode/1up shows that the signature and hence author is "L. Wells". Considering this is a UK publication, unless Wells is proven to be dead in 1926 or earlier, this image is still copyrighted in UK and should not be stored on Commons. Moving this image to Wikipedia (and resolving the other issues) would resolve this.

Aside from the above, I found this article seems to be missing something significant about the dog. What is its diet? Its behavior? Temperament? This is something an ordinary reader would like to know about. I would expect such characteristics to have been published in respected dog breeding or pet books and such, so there would be no reason such information cannot be included. Jappalang (talk) 05:49, 11 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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