Wikipedia:Peer review/Coil (band)/archive1

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Coil (band)[edit]

I would like comments that might help in eventually making this an A article. --AlexOvShaolin 17:27, 23 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I didn't read the whole article. Some suggestions:
  • Use the Redirect template as hatnote.
  • Erase the years of formation and disbanding on parentheses. Coil is not a person, so you may want to include those dates as text on the lead.
  • Some users don't like lists, so you maybe want to convert them to prose.
  • The article needs some more references. The first six paragraphs doesn't have any.
  • I personally don't like when a small article has so many sections. Try to make some subsections.
  • he external links section needs to be cleaned up a little. Try to include only official websites of the band members.
Hope that helped. Cheers. No-Bullet (Talk • Contribs) 04:53, 24 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]
My views:
  • As a rule of thumb, avoid really lengthy lists. They're unlikely to be referenced well (for A-Class articles, bear in mind that the doctrines of WP:OR will apply), and don't improve the flow of the prose.
  • The most important thing here is, I reckon, organisation. Try to group things chronologically in a "History" section.
  • Another major stumbling black is your tone. Don't say "John" - the readers are not on first name terms with the band and this is an encyclopedia. Avoid what can be interpreted as promotional language. The content's good, it just needs to be approached from a neutral angle.

I hope some of this helped. Seegoon 23:52, 25 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thanx for the input so far, i plan to edit the article extensively tomorrow, then if you guys are willing, maybe expand on the points i missed. --AlexOvShaolin 03:31, 27 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Of course - if anything's confusing or you get unstuck, reply here or on my talk page and I'll do what I can. Seegoon 23:56, 27 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, i feel like i have grazed over everything mentioned, so if anyone has specific and in depth criticisms, please explain them, I can tell this article needs more work, but other than expanding the "Late Coil" section, nothing is coming to mind. --AlexOvShaolin 00:02, 30 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

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