Wikipedia:Peer review/German Shepherd Dog/archive1
German Shepherd Dog[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to get the article to Good Article status. Thanks, ~ AmeIiorate U T C @ 20:03, 10 August 2008 (UTC)
- ✓ Done Fixed the header picked up by the peer review script.
- Comments from Yllosubmarine (talk · contribs · count)
I'm glad that such an important article is being developed! The best dog I ever knew was a German Shepherd. :) The potential for promotion to GA-class is there, but I think that most of the sections suffer from skimpiness. In comparing it to Beagle (FA) and Labrador Retriever (GA), this article seems fairly underdeveloped. Here are some suggestions to plump things up:
- The entire "History" section needs more; more context, more description, etc. The original idea of the breed dates back to 1891, when the Phylax Society was formed with the intention of standardising German dog breeds. So when did the breed begin? How did it evolve? What were its ancestors? Why did an "original idea of the breed" come about at all? What other German dog breeds were there? How did they evolve? What were they used for? (Note: the lead mentions that the breed was developed to herd sheep, which is great. However, this fact appears nowhere in the body of the article. In order to adhere to WP:LEAD, the lead section must be a summary of the entire article. Only include in the lead what appears in the rest of the article. In short, mention sheep and herding in the "History" section!)
- Done but probably needs fixes. I would appreciate feedback about the changes I made to the origins section, is there anything else I should add? Is the information about the other dogs clear enough?
- Horand von Grafrath is obviously important, but I'm confused about the dog's importance. He was the first, but how was the breed developed before and after him? Was he bred with another, similar dog? How did the breed itself spread and gain popularity after him?
- Done explained Horand's role/claim to fame in the origins section.
- The history section gives no context about the purpose or need for such a breed. What were the dogs used and heralded for?
- Done herding sheep and protecting flocks
- Why is the breed called "German Shepherd"? What is the significance of the original German name, "Schäferhund"? What do these terms mean?
- Done expanded the name section to include this and other details about the renaming.
- The modern German Shepherd is criticised for straying away from von Stephanitz's original ideology for the breed. Which was...?
- How does the modern breed differ from the original?
- Intelligence is certainly an important facet of the breed, but like most things, it's not explained fully. How does their intelligence help while being police, guard and/or rescue dogs? What tasks are they able to perform? How are they trained? Some of this is explained in a later section, so I would suggest merging the two and of course expanding.
- What, no pictures of puppies? :) Development would be another facet to explore, but once the article is expanded there are tons of possibilities with images. A picture of a Shepherd with a police vest on, for example, or even one of a famous Shepherd like Blondi?
I did a quick search for sources and it would seem that there are a few more notable and highly available books that can be tapped for research. A few are already used, which is great, but more will undoubtedly help expand the material. See what Beagle uses as far references go; it has a separate section for book sources that are identified (in short hand) under "Citations". I highly recommend this format. Hopefully these suggestions will help, but if you have any questions let me know. Best of luck! María (habla conmigo) 18:31, 13 August 2008 (UTC)