Wikipedia:Peer review/Karpal Singh/archive1
Karpal Singh[edit]
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I intend to nominate it for GA status in the future and would like some suggestions on how to improve it further. There are a couple of issues I would like the reviewer to specifically examine:
- Completeness – is the coverage of the article broad enough?
- Structure – are the sections appropriately divided?
- Variety of sources – the article mainly references news articles, some journals, but few books. Judging by what's already in the article, is the variety of sources sufficient?
Thanks, Yk3 talk · contrib 05:29, 10 June 2011 (UTC)
Comments by Chipmunkdavis[edit]
Short article, but well sourced. I made some changes as I went through, mostly minor copyediting etc. Feel free to revert it if I make a mistake.
- I'll post my responses now, but make the relevant changes later. Thank you for reviewing. - Yk3 talk · contrib 05:45, 11 June 2011 (UTC)
- Lead
- I'm not sure if the s/o abbreviation should be used, it would be more understandable if spelled out.
- The sentence "Shifting between courtrooms and parliament, he is known as a fiery debater, which has gotten him into trouble with authorities on occasion." seems slightly WP:PEACOCKy.
- I removed the word "strict" in front of the Internal security act, as the word doesn't add much information and is a subjective judgement, and therefore often not that WP:NPOV.
- The lead could do with some expansion. I recommend adding a sentence or two about his early life, and some more information on political/legal views.
- Early life and Education
- I added Ram Singh as the father's name here for clarification.
- The wikilink to India is slightly anachronous. Perhaps British India may be better?
- The date he was born should be included here.
- When did he study at St. Xavier's Institution?
- When did he obtain his Bachelor of Laws?
- — Hard to find out the exact dates, but I don't think they're that important. - Yk3 talk · contrib 05:45, 11 June 2011 (UTC)
- Is there something special about taking seven years to graduate?
- Some information about ethnicity should be included here, this being Malaysian politics after all.
- Legal Career
- What is the "Penang bar"? (pardon my ignorance)
- That was quoted verbatim from the source. It's probably the Penang branch of the Malaysian Bar. I'll replace that with just the Malaysian Bar if it's confusing. - Yk3 talk · contrib 05:45, 11 June 2011 (UTC)
- "'He started his legal firm, Messrs Karpal Singh & Co., in 1970 and is well-known for his expertise in the field of litigation" Should these sentences be connected? I don't see how the legal firm connect through and to his well-known expertise. It's especially confusing as chronology is being mixed with current status.
- The use of the word "apparently" makes the story of the chinese boy unreliable. Who made this apparent?
- I'm not sure about whether "(See below)" and similar instructions are favoured under the MOS. Either way, should not impede GA status.
- Political Career
- When he joined the DAP, when "citing the party's multiracial stance" was he citing this as a reason for joining? If so, clarify.
- State that Alor Setar is in Kedah earlier, as it seems like it is in Penang by the text.
- The second paragraph is unsourced.
- The word "allegedly" is again used at the end of the entry into politics section. If this is alleged, state by whom.
- "He was released briefly (a few hours) in March 1988 in response to a habeas corpus application, and remained in prison until January 1989." This sentence needs clarification. Was he released for a few hours, after a few hours? Who filed the application, and why was it rejected?
- How could Karpal lose a seat along with an opposition leader?
- "a 1,261-majority win" means what? He won by that amount? Out of how many?
- Instead of just saying "the accident" it may be better to quickly clarify what happened.
- Other sections and misc
- I would combine the Political Views section with the Political Career section, perhaps using the general views as an introduction to the section and shifting examples into where they chronologically belong.
- The accident and disability section should probably go into personal life, seems WP:UNDUE as its own section to me.
- Is Gurmit Kuar Thai?
- What does Man Karpal currently do?
- Reference date formats need to be standardised. Perhaps shifting them all to day month year would be a good course, this being a Malaysian article. Both dates and accessdates should have the same format.
The article seems quite well covered overall. I however can't shake the impression it seems slightly one-sided, which I guess is to be expected. Perhaps temper all the positive quotes with some by his opposition. Anyway, these are just my comments, you may agree or disagree as you will. I have this page watchlisted if there are any questions, reply under a bullet or under here. Good luck, Chipmunkdavis (talk) 04:57, 11 June 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for the refreshing perspective. I completely agree that it's too one-sided. The language is mostly neutral but most of the coverage focuses on what his supporters would want to read (very subtle POV), something I did not previously realise. Most of my future contributions will be focused on negative coverage of him. - Yk3 talk · contrib 05:45, 11 June 2011 (UTC)