Wikipedia:Peer review/Live to Tell/archive1

Live to Tell[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for March 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because, just as the "Papa Don't Preach" article I believe this have the potential to become a featured article. I would specially interested in comments about the prose and grammar, as well as to verify the reliability of the sources and references. Any suggestions and comments would be appreciated. Thanks, Frcm1988 (talk) 16:05, 31 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good.

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 13:43, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Review from Recognizance (talk · contribs) I've never participated in this process before, but I stumbled upon the peer review area and decided to help out. Here are my thoughts:

The lead says the video "shows Madonna first image makeover, featuring her with a cleaner look, shoulder-length wavy golden blond hair and subtle make-up". Do you mean it was the first time she "reinvented" her image so to speak, so it was a cleaner look than her previous work? It's unclear.
Similarly, the background section says the mood was "inspired by a different facet of her image makeover and her desire to focus on something different". Which facet? Different from what? (If "something different" is a quote it also needs to be marked.)
Even sourced it sounds POVish to say "The song is also about childhood scars and had an extreme emotional pitch, achieving it in a divine sense." Unless you mean there's a spiritual aspect, in which case it just needs a little rewording.
The music video section hints at the image issue when it says "she toned down her appearance, inspired again by Marilyn Monroe". But this is the first mention of Monroe's name in the article (again?), and as above, don't assume the reader is familiar with Madonna's earlier career - "tone down" relative to what?

So in other words, outside of the New Madonna / Old Madonna thing, you're pretty much FAC-ready as far as I can tell. :) Recognizance (talk) 05:55, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]