Wikipedia:Peer review/Robert Holdstock/archive1

Robert Holdstock

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…

I'm interested in feedback on NPOV, peacocking, formatting and wording. I am also curious to see if others view the article as start class and low importance

Thanks, Npd2983 (talk) 18:55, 24 February 2008 (UTC)

4u1e's comments

• "was born by the Romney Marsh in Hythe, Kent.". Sounds a bit odd - I'm guessing he wasn't delivered out in the marshlands? :) How about 'was born in Hythe, Kent, near Romney Marsh'. (note the wikilink for Hythe.) I'm assuming that being born near Romney Marsh is going to be significant later? If not, consider dropping it; it didn't really help me situate his birthplace.
• Regarding schools, was Gillingham Grammar school his only school? Did he do his A-Levels there? Was he schooled before the age of seven?
• 'honors' - UK English would be more appropriate for this article.
• It'll look a bit odd, but perhaps expand and link B.Sc and M.Sc at first appearance, otherwise they are rather bewildering if you're not familiar with the system.
• 'He now lives in North London' - stands on its own a bit. Presumably he has lived in London throughout? Can this be worked in more elegantly?
• It would be interesting to know why he started writing, and why he eventually took it up as a career. Is there any material available on this?
• I think I'm right in saying that Wikipedia house-style doesn't use apostrophes for decades (1970's etc.) - there's probably something in the Manual of Style.
• 'Holdstock wrote a well received novella, The Dark Wheel' You'll need a citation for it being well-received. (I remember it fondly, by the way, although I'm not sure I'd want to read it again! Quite an astute move by Acornsoft, as it added depth to the game without any technical work being required.)

More comments later. 4u1e (talk) 18:42, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

• Gets very listy towards the end. I suggest that Bibliography should be the last major section. Critical commentary (definitely) and Awards (very probably) should be re-written as prose. If you don't want to do Awards as prose, it could perhaps be combined with the bibliography by listing awards won by each book.
• regarding citation: it's usually hard to justify less that one citation per paragraph, which the article is currently a little short of. I've tagged a few things that require citation, but there are probably more.
• Why are there two bibliographies in the External links section? I'm not sure the mailing list is appropriate there either, check WP:EL for guidelines.
• 'Mythago Wood was published as part of the Masterpieces of Fantasy series by Easton Press, a press known for selectively releasing collectible, fine leather-bound editions of works of lasting meaning, beauty and importance.' Reads like a promotional piece for Easton Press. Ditch it, or re-cast it as something more neutral like 'by Easton Press, who describe themselves as releasing 'works of lasting meaning, beauty and importance', with an appropriate reference. My vote goes for dumping it though. :)
• Themes are mentioned briefly in the lead, but not again. I'd expect to see something fairly meaty on this in the body of the article.
• Is there any material available on sales or popularity?
• Are you sure you can justify having four fair use book covers in the article, none of which directly illustrate any point about the author?
• Overall I'd say it's probably a 'start' class article, reaching towards a 'B'. Importance-wise, I'd go for mid (important within the field of fantasy writing), due to the awards received and long publishing career. Note that I'm not an expert in these areas, though. It's a neat and well presented article, but I think it needs more breadth to progress further up the quality scale.

Hope some of that is helpful. If you want to, I'd like to hear your comments on Saruman, which has a peer review running two items up from here. Cheers. 4u1e (talk) 18:14, 12 March 2008 (UTC)