Wikipedia:Peer review/Saikano/archive1

Saikano

General peer review request on behalf of User:Saikano for the article Saikano. He'll be by to explain what he needs input on. --GunnarRene 17:24, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

A general review request.--GunnarRene 14:25, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Please see automated review here. --GunnarRene 17:31, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

saikano...saikano is..hoow can i put it...?...specal type of anime. the emotional aspect of this is depressing.this anime is depressing. i cryed all through this anime. there was things unforseen in it.

i just love this anime. it a sci-fi soap opara like anime. its been months and i am still depressed. it holds on to you and wont let go. it is currently ranked the best anime ever for good reason.I loved it!--Lolicon(Anti Child Porn)Saikano 18:32, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

OK, can you go through the automated review and address those points first? --GunnarRene 18:46, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

The lead section tells absolutely nothing about the plot - even one or two sentences would be good. The 'critical reviews' section needs to be in prose, rather than a table. The comma is rather over used. As a whole, the article desperately needs citations, especially the "speculation about possible foes." The production section should be more than a list of names. (Who funded it, if there were any controversies in production, etc.) Sometimes, the tone is a little unencyclopaedic. -Malkinann 06:20, 25 February 2007 (UTC)

saikano starts out in winter as shuji talks about his girlfriend in the past tense. He finds her bag picks up the Animal Club jurnal and read's it. then he has a flashback. now i am 95% positive this took place in episode 12 because he walk did the same thing. Then the story begains...its the summer time with shuji & chise walking up hell hill.--Lolicon3043910 17:35, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

It's lovely that you enjoy this anime, but Wikipedia is not a forum. Can you address the points that I've brought up? If you're having trouble converting your 'reviews' table to prose, Serial Experiments Lain and Excel Saga both have good 'Reception' sections that you can read and try and mimic the style of. -Malkinann 23:43, 7 March 2007 (UTC)

AnonEMouse

• Otaru-shi: link Otaru, Hokkaidō
• "has a bitter tongue" - uncommon metaphor in English, rephrase
• Image:Saiweapon.JPG says it is public domain. Highly unlikely, considering it seems to be a screenshot.
• The plot section only describes the set-up, not the actual plot. I can't tell for sure (another issue), but I wouldn't be surprised if all this - the love declaration, the war, and the conversion of Chise into a weapon - happened in the first episode. What happens in the rest of the series?
• We are shown battles ... We do not find out ...- Don't use the first person plural like this. See Wikipedia:Manual of Style (writing about fiction).
• The War section is full of unsourced speculation. See Wikipedia:Attribution
• The Characters section seems to need another spoiler warning
• The Manga section only talks about the plot, rather than publication details. It also says it follows the anime plot - but you haven't given us much of the anime plot.
• The Soundtrack section is just a bunch of words to me. Are they song titles? How about a translation?
• Put some text in the reviews section, rather than the final grade. What did the reviewers actually like and dislike?
• Trivia sections are usually looked down upon in featured article candidacies; try to work those items into the main text instead

--AnonEMouse ^(squeak) 15:13, 14 March 2007 (UTC)