Wikipedia:Peer review/Tina Turner/archive1

Tina Turner

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is a recent good article.

Thanks, Vikrant 15:25, 26 February 2008 (UTC)

Comments by Biomedeng (talk):

• Reference number 3 needs a space after it
• The last paragraph of the lead section seems to be not quite NPOV. While these quotes may be used by some in the media they do little for the reader to help understand more about Tina Turner. It does not seem to add to the article, and in particular does not seem appropriate for a lead section which is supposed to be a summary of the article.
• An overview section is redundant. I am not sure if this is covered in a wikipedia policy or not, but IMHO the texgt should be incorporated into the lead and the section removed
• "... making her of many people who are both of African American and Native American descent" doesn't make sense/isn't needed. It is fine to give her racial backround but people do not need this additional information that other people are part african american and native american.
• "The land for the school was sold below market value to the school trustees by Turner's great granduncle in 1889" doesn't really add to the article about Tina Turner
• " By the end of the decade, Tina had discovered rock and roll..." this part of the sentence doesn't make sense...how does she "discover" rock and roll?
• "A one-night gig at a small, predominantly-black supper club in the South could be followed in the same week by a show at a major venue in Las Vegas or a national TV appearance." needs a citation and isn't specific enough. See WP:AWW
• "with an iron fist" and "While a fine musician" also seem to be weasel words/phrases
• Maybe I missed it but it doesn't say when Ike and Tina got married
• Several paragraphs have no citations at all
• The Rotterdam handprints picture doesn't seem to go with the text of the section it is placed in.
• References 47 and 48 have an extra space between the period and reference number
• Not all references are formatted properly (i.e. need accessed dates for urls,...)
• It is good to see some books used as references besides online refs

Overall you need more references in a lot of places and the article could use a good copy edit. A few more relevant images would also be good if they can be found. Good luck. Biomedeng (talk) 02:45, 13 March 2008 (UTC)