Wikipedia:Peer review/Traveling carnival/archive1

Traveling carnival

I've listed this article for peer review because…I would like advice and help in improving this article for possible good article statusShinerunner 15:18, 26 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks,

Shinerunner 15:18, 26 August 2007 (UTC)

J Milburn

• References would be best if placed into citation templates, rather than in the format that they are currently in.  Done
• A little thing, but something that bugs me- citations should be placed as [statement][punctuation][citation], with no space, even if there are two references. For instance-

The sun is a star. Correct

The sun is a star. Incorrect

The sun is a star. Incorrect

The sun is a star. Correct

The sun is a star. Incorrect  Done - corrected

• The captions shouldn't be in bold.  Done - corrected
• Over-spacing at the top of the article, and around the sections. There need never be more than a single line's space between anything.  Done
• Section titles should use sentence case- the first word is capitalised, and subsequent words are capitalised only if they are proper nouns.  Done
• Noticed by chance, but Admission, the first word of the last paragraph of the first section, links to a dab page.  Done- corrected link
• I'd remove the list, to be honest- it is badly placed within the article, US-centric for obvious reasons, and pretty indiscriminate. If any of them are notable, then they may deserve a mention. Otherwise, no.  Done - removed list
• Some more categories would be nice.
• You may want to use the more details or main templates, rather than the clumsy 'see also' currently used at the start of some sections.
• References go above external links, usually.  Done
• That reflist, especially when placed into citation templates, would benefit from using {{Reflist|2}} instead of whichever reflist template is being used now.

I'll be happy to offer further thoughts on how the article could be improved- drop me a line on my talk page.J Milburn 19:42, 26 August 2007 (UTC)

hfarmer

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

• Avoid including galleries in articles, as per Wikipedia:Galleries. Common solutions to this problem include moving the gallery to wikicommons or integrating images with the text.^[?]
• There may be an applicable infobox for this article. For example, see Template:Infobox Biography, Template:Infobox School, or Template:Infobox City.^[?] (Note that there might not be an applicable infobox; remember that these suggestions are not generated manually)
• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.^[?]
• Please reorder/rename the last few sections to follow guidelines at Wikipedia:Guide to layout.^[?]
• Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
  • While additive terms like “also”, “in addition”, “additionally”, “moreover”, and “furthermore” may sometimes be useful, overusing them when they aren't necessary can instead detract from the brilliancy of the article. This article has 11 additive terms, a bit too much.
  • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
• As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2]^[?]
• Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.^[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Hfarmer 01:49, 28 August 2007 (UTC)