Wikipedia:WikiProject Law Enforcement/Peer review/New Jersey Transit Police Department
New Jersey Transit Police Department[edit]
Hello all, I'm new to this WikiProject and to Wikipedia itself. I've created a page about the New Jersey Transit Police Department and I was wondering if I could get a peer review from the people in this project. I would greatly appreciate comments and constructive criticism. Seeing how this is my first artice I still have quite a bit to learn! (Rebel3986 03:15, 28 August 2007 (UTC))
- include the acronym (NJTPD) in the bold font in the name in the first sentence
- sentence case headings (e.g., “Primary Function” => “Primary function”)
- actually, just “Mission” might be a more effective heading in that particular case
- Constitutional =>constitutional, “the Department” => “the department”
- delete “Today” as the first word in the history section (it’s redundant with “is”)
- remove “current” from the authorized strength section (and generally avoid such words that indicate the present, since that can be assumed)
- last sentence of history: “the New Jersey Transit Police
are[is] responsible…” - consider shrinking the tower photo closer to the same size as the others, so it doesn’t visually dominate the page
- consider using templates for the citations
- could probably use a few more wikilinks, such as police dog, Essex County, Penn Station, Crown Victoria, etc (and note the disambiguation in some of these links)
- de-link all but the first use of Newark
- fiddle with the photo placing a little bit; they probably shouldn’t go into the “see also” section
- alphabetize categories and “see also” list
- Over-all, it looks great, especially for a newbie editor and a fresh article. Most of these comments are nit-picks. Reads well, lots of info and photos. Could be expanded with more 3rd party sources, and more citations for some of what’s already there (even for things you know from first hand), such as the second half of the first “Criticisms and issues” paragraph. I suggest fixing these things up and nominating it as good article candidate (but maybe read the good article criteria first) if you want to take it further. bobanny 07:09, 29 August 2007 (UTC)
- Another slight nit-pick from me, with your references you have forgotten to add the second bracket to close them off, so you are left with [www.sjkdojo.com Article title retrieved at... etc. I will go and fix the ones in the article but I thought I would mention it here first so refs you use in the future will work better :) a great first article! I rarely see a self-proclaimed-newbie creating such a well rounded article, adding all the features his or herself. SGGH speak! 12:39, 29 August 2007 (UTC)
- I've redone the article with the suggestions that have been listed above, If you guys have the time maybe take another look and see if the article is shaping up to Good Article standards Rebel3986 13:23, 29 August 2007 (UTC)
- Another slight nit-pick from me, with your references you have forgotten to add the second bracket to close them off, so you are left with [www.sjkdojo.com Article title retrieved at... etc. I will go and fix the ones in the article but I thought I would mention it here first so refs you use in the future will work better :) a great first article! I rarely see a self-proclaimed-newbie creating such a well rounded article, adding all the features his or herself. SGGH speak! 12:39, 29 August 2007 (UTC)