List of Two and a Half Men episodes

Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom created by Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn that premiered on CBS on September 22, 2003.

On March 13, 2014, Two and a Half Men was renewed for a twelfth season, which was announced the following May to be the final season, that premiered on October 30, 2014.

Episodes
Each episode's title is a phrase spoken by one of the characters in that episode. The three exceptions are the pilot episode and the episodes "Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor" (season 1) and "Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers" (season 2). The latter episode does fit the criterion, but the quote was part of a deleted scene which Chuck Lorre explains in the episode's vanity card.

Three episode titles are not direct quotes: "Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snootful" (season 1), "Who's Vod Kanockers?" (season 4), and "Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead" (season 8). Charlie states "I'm not going to face all those pre-pubers without a snootful", but the number twenty-five is never mentioned. Jake actually asks "Who is this Vod Kanockers that you speak of?"; however, on the DVD release, that episode is titled "Who Is This Vod Kanockers?". When Charlie sings his song called "Chocolate Diddlers", Alan only suggests that it sounds more like "My Puppy's Dead".