One-line joke

A one-liner is a joke that is delivered in a single line. A good one-liner is said to be pithy – concise and meaningful. Comedians and actors use this comedic method as part of their performance, and many fictional characters are also known to deliver one-liners, including James Bond, who often makes pithy and laconic quips after disposing of a villain.

Examples

 * "Never read a pop-up book about giraffes." (Sean Lock)
 * "Throwing acid is wrong. In some people's eyes." (Jimmy Carr)
 * "My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person - so I can get a better girlfriend." (Anthony Jeselnik)
 * "Cricket. No matter who wins, both teams, and all the fans, are losers." (Frankie Boyle)
 * "An escalator cannot break, it can only become stairs." (Mitch Hedberg)
 * "My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave." (Burt Reynolds)
 * "I'm on a whiskey diet… I've lost three days already." (Tommy Cooper)
 * "What Iran needs now is a more modern leader—a mullah lite." (Shappi Khorsandi)
 * "I have nothing to declare except my genius." (Oscar Wilde, upon arriving at US customs, 1882)
 * "Take my wife ... please." (Henny Youngman)
 * "They hired a 3-piece band that was so lousy, every time the waiter dropped a tray, we all got up and danced!" (Les Dawson)
 * "What a magnificent show this is going to be when it starts!" (Ken Dodd)
 * "I have a girlfriend! I've been going out with my girlfriend for… sex!" (Stewart Francis)
 * "I have an L-shaped sofa… Lowercase." (Demetri Martin)
 * "Crime in multi-story car parks is wrong on so many different levels." (Tim Vine )
 * "My wife – it's difficult to say what she does. She sells seashells on the seashore." (Milton Jones)
 * "In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit." (Gary Delaney)
 * "Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat." (Joe Lycett)
 * "I was so ugly; my mother had morning sickness after I was born" (Rodney Dangerfield)