Talk:Ahmed Omaid Khpalwak

Request edit
Requested edit - the article incorrectly states Khpulwak killed by Taliban - see http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-14840998 for example for more recent reports that he was killed by American special forces while hiding in a bathroom and holding up his press card. Conflict of interest - none, I couldn't find a more appropriate template - I think this change needs to be made but can't do so myself.

Does not state anything about him being in a bathroom holding a press card. He conducted actions similar to what a suicide bomber would do when he reached to show his press card to US Soldiers. With an Afghan name and Afghan looking, it wouldn't be hard to perceive him as part of the insurgency just after an attack when he looks like the Taliban (Ethnically) Kuname (talk) 21:42, 8 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Please could you state *exactly* what you think should be changed - such as, "XXX should change to YYY" - and give references. I can't see what needs changing - or, maybe, it has already been changed? The current version says, Khpulwak was killed by American ISAF troops on July 28, 2011, in Tarin Kowt, Afghanistan, when Taliban insurgents attacked government facilities - is that OK?  Chzz  ► 02:45, 17 September 2011 (UTC)

Feedback
You have great details about your journalist's work. I am surprised and impressed that you were able to find some of his articles. Great research! You have sources for all of your information, which is really good. Pjweinzapf (talk) 02:59, 6 October 2011 (UTC)


 * think you should work on separating your information into the format that Crtew gave us. When you split it up into sections like "Death," "context," "Impact," "Reactions," "Career," and "Personal" it is easier for others to read and find the information that they are looking for.  These sections are also seen in almost all other Wikipedia articles. You give good information.  For example, you mention and list the two previous reporters who died in Afghanistan, but this might be overlooked because it is not in the "impact section."  Also, rather than saying that Abdul Samad Roohani was killed "three years ago" you might want to put the exact year because this article will be on wikipedia for many years and that reference to "three years ago" will not always be accurate.  I hope this information helps you!  You have good information, but it just needs to be organized a bit better. Pjweinzapf (talk) 02:59, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Balmung576 - Right now the notability that would appear in the article's lead is buried. I'm in agreement with Pjwienzapf that you need to organize and give shape to the material. The article reads haphazardly. Guide the reader. As another commenter notes above, important details about his death are missing. Look at the email I sent you for a pointers about notability and important details. I would suggest a Lexis-Nexis search for more information about his death. You'll also want to explore information about context, such as NATO's struggle with the Taliban/terrorists in this region. Create links to other parts of Wikipedia, too. You should be able to identify some more information that readers may want to explore! I added an external link I found. Crtew (talk) 20:20, 9 October 2011 (UTC)


 * Part of the problem is that there were two version of his death. One version was given in the aftermath. The other version came out after the NATO report was released. So you need to clarify this confusion. I changed "when" to "after" in one instance because it was a subtle error of fact, in light of the report that confirmed how he had died. Crtew (talk) 20:31, 9 October 2011 (UTC)


 * I added that external link. Take a look at some of his stories. That may be of interest to what you want to convey about his career. But avoid "original research" per Wikipedia culture. Crtew (talk) 20:31, 9 October 2011 (UTC)


 * What reactions did you find? Crtew (talk) 20:56, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

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Wikipedia Ambassador Program course assignment
This article is the subject of an educational assignment at University of Southern Indiana supported by WikiProject Journalism and the Wikipedia Ambassador Program&#32;during the 2011 Q3 term. Further details are available on the course page.

The above message was substituted from by PrimeBOT (talk) on 16:41, 2 January 2023 (UTC)