Talk:Anaximenes of Miletus/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Phlsph7 (talk · contribs) 08:34, 20 September 2023 (UTC)

I'll review this one. I hope to have some initial comments soon. Phlsph7 (talk) 08:34, 20 September 2023 (UTC)

Prose, spelling, and grammar
Phlsph7 (talk) 09:16, 20 September 2023 (UTC) Phlsph7 (talk) 09:27, 21 September 2023 (UTC) Phlsph7 (talk) 08:32, 22 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Anaximenes held that air could change into other forms through either rarefaction and condensation. I assume "and" should be "or"
 * It is considered likely that he and the other Milesian philosophers were wealthy, allowing then to dedicate time to philosophy. replace "then" with "them"
 * This is generally understand in the context of a substance, replace "understand" with "understood"
 * These beliefs draw a connection between the soul and the physical world, as it suggests that replace "it" with "they"
 * Anaximenes' philosophy was centered in a theory of change to my ears, "centered on" sounds better than "centered in"
 * Anaximenes believed that the universe was initially made entirely of air, and that remove the comma after "air"
 * He is said to have compared the movement of the Earth, Sun, and stars as leaves replace "as" with "to"
 * Air as the arche has the feature of being one thing which seems unlimited like Anaximander, replace "which" with "that"
 * Anaximenes' conception of air has been likened to the atoms and subatomic particles which make up either replace "which" with "that" or add a comma before "which"
 * He was the first philosopher to analogize his philosophy in real world terms, replace "real world" with "real-world". I'm not sure that this is the best expression here. Would "concrete" be a better alternative?
 * I've switched it to "practical". Thebiguglyalien  ( talk ) 15:54, 20 September 2023 (UTC)
 * After Artistotle, Theophrastus continued the doxography replace "Artistotle" with "Aristotle"
 * Anaximenes of Miletus (/ˌænækˈsɪməˌniːz/; Greek: Ἀναξιμένης ὁ Μιλήσιος; c. 586/585 – c. 526/525 BC) was an Ancient Greek, Pre-Socratic philosopher from Miletus in Anatolia (modern-day Turkey) active in the 6th century BC we already have the dates of birth and death so we don't need the phrase active in the 6th century BC
 * He influenced many of the Pre-Socratic philosophers that succeeded him, such as Heraclitus, Anaxagoras, Diogenes of Apollonia, and Xenophanes, and he provided early examples of concepts such as natural science, physical change, and scientific writing. might be better to make the last part ("he provided...") into a separate sentence
 * According to his account, Anaximenes was the son of Eurystratus, an associate of the philosopher Anaximander, and lived in Miletus. He is recorded as becoming a student of Anaximander it's not clear to whom "his" refers
 * He is recorded as becoming a student of Anaximander. The "his" in the last sentence did not refer to Anaximenes. It's confusing that the "He" in this sentence does.
 * According to Diogenes Laertius, lived approximately from 585 to 524 BC, and his philosophical activity is usually placed between 545 and 494 BC. replace "lived" with "Anaximenes lived"
 * The rarefaction process described by Anaximenes is often compared to felting. I'm not sure that this comparison is very helpful to readers who don't have a background on textile manufacturing methods.
 * This example came up several times. I made a point to add a mention because I felt the article would otherwise be incomplete. Thebiguglyalien  ( talk ) 18:25, 22 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Anaximenes further applies his concept of air as the arche to other questions. replace "applies" with "applied"
 * This system proposed a model in which the qualitative traits of a substance are determined by quantitative factors. it sounds like this sentence is supposed to be connected to the claim made in the previous sentence but it is not clear how.
 * He may have described them evaporating or rarifying into fire. I think there should be an "as" before "evaporating"
 * Some scholars theorize that Anaximenes may have been the first person to distinguish between planets and fixed stars, justifying a description of both floating celestial bodies and those likened to nails. The second part of this sentence is confusing. Did Anaximenes compare celestial bodies to nails? If not, why is this mentioned?
 * The nails analogy is in the previous sentence Thebiguglyalien  ( talk ) 18:25, 22 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Correct, my oversight. However, I still don't see what this sentence adds apart from repeating the previous claim. Would it be better to remove the phrase justifying a description of both floating celestial bodies and those likened to nails? Phlsph7 (talk) 07:59, 23 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Air as the arche has the feature of being one thing that seems unlimited like Anaximander, who thought the arche was apeiron (Ancient Greek: ἄπειρον, lit. 'unlimited, 'boundless'), but is a determinate substance, like Thales with water and unlike Anaximander. Read literally, this sentence compares air to Anaximander and Thales. Maybe the sentence could be split into two a little along the following lines: One aspect of air is that it is limitless, which reflects Anaximander's characterization of the arche as apeiron. Another aspect of air is that it is a determiante substance like water, the arche proposed by Thales.
 * Anaximenes' ideas reflect those of Anaximander in that both identify a single extensive substance that makes up all things in the world, but Anaximenes rejected the details of Anaximander's theory, instead believing that the substance must be a definite thing. In this way, he was more similar to Thales, who proposed that water was the substance that made up all things. this passage repeats various claims made in the previous paragraphs.
 * As with Anaximander, Anaximenes is not known to have justified why or how changes in physical things take place the way that they do, though he also did not use the metaphors of justice and retribution between concepts that Anaximander used. Anaximenes also rejected the direct appeals to deities and the divine made by Anaximander. These ideas by Anaximander were not discussed before but the sentence makes it sound as if they were. One way to solve this problem would be to state first how Anaximander saw these things and then how Anaximenes differed.
 * According to Diogenes Laertius, lived approximately from 585 to 524 BC, and his philosophical activity is usually placed between 545 and 494 BC. this is supported by the sources but it doesn't make much sense to talk of his philosophical activity after his death. This could be remedied by replacing "between 545 and 494 BC" with "after 545 BC".
 * I've removed this entirely. I jotted that down early in the research in case I wouldn't be able to source his actual lifespan. Thebiguglyalien  ( talk ) 18:25, 22 September 2023 (UTC)
 * the text is inconsistent in regard to its use of "BC" and "BCE".
 * Anaximenes is the first philosopher replace "is" with "was"
 * Anaximenes is the first philosopher to give an explanation for substances changing from one to another through a physical process. is this supposed to be "from one state to another"?
 * Aristotle defined Anaximenes and his predecessors as monists, replace "defined" with "characterized"

Spotcheck
Phlsph7 (talk) 09:27, 21 September 2023 (UTC) Phlsph7 (talk) 08:30, 22 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Anaximenes' apparent instructor, Anaximander, was a Milesian philosopher who proposed that all substances are composed of apeiron, an undefined and infinite material. I don't think that this is the generally accepted view. Apeiron is usually understood as an abstract first principle or cause and not as a material of which things are composed. The source talks of a "‘First Principle’ or ‘Substratum’". "Substratum" might be interpreted as material, but I don't think that this is a good idea. An alternative formulation would be ... who proposed that an undifferentiated, imperceptible, and boundless principle called apeiron is the origin of everything. You might have to add as an additional source if you go this formulation.
 * I've changed the wording to hopefully align more closely with what the sources describe. Thebiguglyalien  ( talk ) 15:54, 20 September 2023 (UTC)
 * his philosophical activity is usually placed between 545 and 494 BC.[4] supported
 * Anaximenes was born c. 586/585 BC supported by Dye 2014
 * It is considered likely that he and the other Milesian philosophers were wealthy, allowing them to dedicate time to philosophy.[4] supported
 * He described several basic elements that he considered to be manifestations of air, sorting them from least dense to most dense: fire, air, wind, clouds, water, earth, and stones. supported by Graham 2006
 * He is understood to have believed that expanded air was thinner and therefore hotter while compressed air was thicker and therefore colder—although modern science has found the opposite to be true. supported by Vamvacas 2009
 * Anaximenes did not believe that any substance could be created or destroyed, only that it could be changed from one form to another. supported by Graham 2006
 * These three philosophers together began what eventually became science in the Western world.[11] supported
 * His understanding of physical properties as measurable quantitative differences that applied at individual and universal scales became foundational ideas in the development of natural science. mostly supported by Vamvacas 2009 but I don't think the term "measurable" is supported
 * In the Timaeus, Plato favorably mentions Anaximenes' theory of matter and its seven states from stone to fire.[51] supported
 * This Earth is supported by the pressure of air underneath it to keep it afloat.[2] supported by Dye 2014, pp. 74–75.
 * Anaximenes adopted a similar design of a flat Earth as Thales. Both proposed that the Earth was flat and that it rested on the substance they believed made up all things; Thales described a disc on water, while Anaximenes described a disc on air.[36] Algra 1999, p. 55 supports the claim about Thales; Dye 2014, pp. 74–75 could be added as a secondary source to support the claim about Anaximenes

Others
Phlsph7 (talk) 09:16, 20 September 2023 (UTC)
 * WP:EARWIG shows no copyright problems.
 * The sources are reliable and come from publishers like Taylor & Francis, Routledge, Springer, and some university presses.


 * , I had a feeling you might be the reviewer for this one. I've made all of the listed changes. Thebiguglyalien  ( talk ) 15:54, 20 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Looks good. It will take me a while to get through the rest of the article. Phlsph7 (talk) 09:29, 21 September 2023 (UTC)

Phlsph7 (talk) 08:31, 22 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Anaximenes is identified by the number 13 in the standard, fifth edition of the Diels–Kranz numbering system. is that important enough to be mentioned?
 * images are relevant and have appropriate licenses and captions
 * there are no ongoing edit wars
 * , I think I've addressed everything. Thebiguglyalien  ( talk ) 18:25, 22 September 2023 (UTC)


 * As an optional sidenote: the text contains a few weasel phrases, like He is understood to have believed, he is also described, and but it is understood that. I don't see this as a serious problem in this case since this is often the best way to summarize a wide academic discourse where certain opinions are shared by many authors, as is often the case in philosophy. However, it should be avoided if they are opinions of one particular author or if they can be attributed to one particular school of thought. Phlsph7 (talk) 08:01, 23 September 2023 (UTC)
 * , I've reworded the bit about nails to express the idea without redundancy. As far as possible weasel words, most of these are me being overly careful to avoid definitely saying that specific things happened since everything we know about Anaximenes is indirect. I've went through and removed ones that are simply stated as fact in the sources. For Some scholars, Dye specifically says "some scholars" and Kočandrle doesn't mention specific interpretations. Thebiguglyalien  ( talk ) 17:46, 23 September 2023 (UTC)
 * Looks fine. I think all the main points have been addressed. Phlsph7 (talk) 07:29, 24 September 2023 (UTC)
 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: