Talk:Asthma/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sahara4u (talk · contribs) 17:20, 29 December 2012 (UTC)

Lede

 * Its diagnosis is usually made based on the pattern of symptoms, response to therapy over time, and spirometry.[5].... no need of "made" and "over time" → "at times"
 * Fixed the first, the second is "response to therapy over time". Ie you give the treatment and see if it works. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 11:50, 17 January 2013 (UTC)


 * As of 2010, 300 million people were affected worldwide. In 2009 asthma caused 250,000 deaths globally.[12] → need to be updated as we are in 2013, also merge these two sentences.
 * This is the most recent estimates from a 2011 paper by GINA. They do not typically change that fast. Updated the years to match the refs. Merged. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 11:50, 17 January 2013 (UTC)

Signs and symptoms

 * Symptoms are often worse......→worst
 * This is just referring to in relation to the day. And not the worst. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 12:07, 17 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Some people with asthma only rarely experience .... no need of "only"


 * Thanks fixed. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 12:07, 17 January 2013 (UTC)

Causes

 * These factors influence both its severity and how responsive it is to treatment.[18]→These factors influence both its severity and its response to treatment.[18]
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:22, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Environmental

 * Too many short paragraph even the 1st one is a single sentence, merge them into 2 paras
 * asthma in children and adults[26][27] as are high .... → refs should come after the period
 * Many sentences in the article are similarly phrased i.e. "including:[33] respiratory syncytial virus" and "including: allergens" etc. I suggest to avoide the repetition.
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:26, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Hygiene hypothesis

 * ...increase rates of asthma worldwide—increased rates of asthma are a direct and unintende.... no need to repeat "increased rates of asthma"
 * non infectious → non-infectious
 * It's been proposed that the ... → It has been
 * Evidence supporting the hygiene hypothesis includes observations of lower rates of asthma seen on farms and in households with pets; however, there are still many uncertainties.[37] → I don't understand what you are trying to say, this needs a complete copyedit
 * Antibiotic use early in life .... → Use of antbiotic in early life......
 * ...is associated[39] with an increased.... ref should be after period
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:32, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Genetic

 * is ~25% → "approximately 25%" or "nearly 25%"
 * Many of these genes are related to the immune system or to modulating inflammation. → no need of 2nd "to"
 * The genetic trait CD14 single nucleotide polymorphism (SNP) C-159T and exposure to endotoxin (a bacterial product) is an example. → need to be rephrased
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:45, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Medical conditions

 * ...allergic rhinitis, and asthma is called atopy. → remove the comma
 * ....autoimmune disease vasculitis, Churg–Strauss syndrome. → autoimmune diseased vasculitis and Churg–Strauss syndrome.
 * Other medications that can cause problems include: ASA, NSAIDs, and angiotensin-converting enzyme inhibitors.[53] → Other medications that can cause problems are ASA, NSAIDs and angiotensin-converting enzyme inhibitors.[53]
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:50, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Pathophysiology

 * The typical changes in the airway → airways
 * Chronically airway smooth muscle may increase in size along with .... → Chronically airways' smooth muscle may increase in size along with ....
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:54, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Diagnosis

 * There is currently no precise test for asthma[34] with ... ref at the end of the sentence and aagain no need of made later in th ssentence
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:55, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Spirometry

 * ...salbutamol this is supportive of the diagnosis. →.....salbutamol, is supportive of the diagnosis. Also link salbutamol an COPD
 * ...every 1 or 2 years....→ every one or two years
 * Other → Others?
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:58, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Classification

 * You may provide key for the table i.e what ≤, >, < mean?
 * These are standard terms (less than or equal to). Does not need defining IMO. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:34, 19 January 2013 (UTC)


 * ..such as bronchiectasis,chronic bronchitis, and emphysema.[64] → space after the 1st comma
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 13:47, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Asthma exacerbation

 * Ablue color of the skin → space after A

Exercise-induced

 * In athletes it occurs more common .... comma after athletes
 * Link cycling and skiing
 * ....those without asthma[74] however oral.... → ref at the end of the sentence, there may be others.......
 * Fixed the first two. When the refs only supports half the sentence I prefer to attach them to that bit. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 14:03, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Occupational

 * Asthma as a result of (or worsened by) workplace exposures is a commonly reported occupational disease.[77] → comma before is
 * work related → work-related
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 14:04, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Management

 * Bronchodilators are recommended for short-term relief of symptoms.> In..... → remove >
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 14:05, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Medications

 * Fast acting → Fast-acting
 * Long term → Long-term
 * Other→Others
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 14:06, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Progesterone needs to be discussed as a medication for the condition. Research shows it to be effective with less side effects. Not widely known yet, but gaining interest by specialists. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 101.113.195.30 (talk) 16:26, 31 March 2013 (UTC)

Prognosis

 * Globally it causes moderate or severe disability in 19.4 million people as of 2004 ... Need to be updated
 * I have not seen any updates of this number. The source that supports it is from 2008. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 14:18, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Epidemiology

 * As of 2011, ~235 million people worldwide.. → As of 2011, approximately/nearly 235 million people worldwide
 * economically disadvantage → economically disadvantaged
 * refs should come after periods
 * Fixed the first two. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 14:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

History

 * ...an incense mixture known as kyphi[130] → full-stop after kyphi
 * refs should come after periods
 * In 1873 one of the first papers.... → comma after 1873
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 14:22, 19 January 2013 (UTC)

Images and catergories

 * All the images need alt text.
 * You may add more categories

I'll revisit once the above concers are addressed. Good luck! Zia Khan 00:24, 9 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Just noticed this. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 10:35, 17 January 2013 (UTC)

Quick glance – References should come after periods. Zia Khan 16:15, 19 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Per what guideline? If have the sentence is support by one ref and the other half is supported by another I prefer to keep the references right next to the content they support. Have changed a few but others I prefer they way they are. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 02:11, 20 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Don't know, but have a look here. Zia Khan 15:13, 20 January 2013 (UTC)
 * But here it states that what I have been doing is okay  Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 03:35, 21 January 2013 (UTC)
 * I'll revisit in the next 2/3 days! Zia Khan 04:59, 21 January 2013 (UTC)


 * There is a problem with ref 69. Zia Khan 00:38, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks and fixed. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 14:14, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

Final Review

 * GA review (see Good article criteria and WP:GACN)


 * 1) Well written.
 * a (clear and concise prose which doesn't violate copyright laws, grammar and spelling are correct): b ''(MoS for lead, layout, word choice, and fiction:
 * 1) Factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (well-referenced): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (No original research):
 * 1) Broad in its coverage.
 * a (covers major aspects): b (well-focused):
 * 1) Neutral .
 * Fair representation, no bias:
 * 1) Stable.
 * No edit wars nor disputed contents:
 * 1) Illustrated appropriately by images.
 * a b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Result: Good work, keep it up! Zia Khan 22:53, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Illustrated appropriately by images.
 * a b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Result: Good work, keep it up! Zia Khan 22:53, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Result: Good work, keep it up! Zia Khan 22:53, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail: