Talk:Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Zad68 (talk · contribs) 01:55, 7 May 2013 (UTC)

Status = MEETS GA STANDARDS

 * On review...  01:55, 7 May 2013 (UTC)
 * MrADHD - I left a concern for you to address about the sourcing, could you look at it and respond please.   02:22, 17 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Did more; updated sourcing table to reflect latest changes (including sourced removed/replaced).  20:07, 21 May 2013 (UTC)
 * MrADHD - source review is finished (finally!). I have some notes for you to review either address or explain as needed.  Many of the items are very quick to fix, and in the few cases where I found a source non-WP:RS I've tried to provide an alternative.  Once these are addressed we'll go through the prose review.  Looking good so far, sourcing was largely very good.    02:19, 26 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Moving forward again now. Nearly all sourcing items were addressed adequately.  There's a few more fiddly things I need to check, and I've moved just those notes below the (now collapsed) sourcing table.  Will start the prose review.   02:19, 30 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Prose review finished now, mostly small things that can be fixed quickly. You can go ahead and do those now. I have a small number of outstanding sourcing issues I'd like to review and will provide notes on in a bit, nothing overwhelming.   15:46, 31 July 2013 (UTC)
 * All notes done now. There's a bit of content regarding Executive Function that has to be updated to WP:MEDRS-compliant sourcing, that's probably the biggest chunk of work, and a number of other items ranging from there down to trivial.  Once this round is complete we should be very close to done.  Turning back over to you.   18:41, 31 July 2013 (UTC)
 * On further reflection, Barkley's online course really doesn't meet sourcing requirements, I've added requests to re-source or remove the content.  15:07, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Now only two very small items left, an attribution is needed for the views of Neill and one grammar/clarity fix is needed in the section on High IQ children. Identified below with red ❌s.    16:19, 16 August 2013 (UTC)
 * Now meets GA standards! Congratulations, this was a huge chunk of work.   23:28, 16 August 2013 (UTC)

Sourcing

 * In general I'm concerned about the sourcing. There's far too many individual articles being used to support just one or two facts in the article.  I feel like we're getting a scattershot view of the disorder in the article, and not a homogeneous overview with the various symptoms and related concepts selected and presented in due weight.    02:20, 17 May 2013 (UTC)

In this table:
 * Source lists the source as cited in the article
 * Seems WP:RS? means, "Does this source appear to meet WP:RS for reliable sourcing?"
 * Use OK? means, is the source used appropriately in the article? For the review, a few selected sources will be spot-checked to ensure they aren't plagiarized and support the article content.   indicates the source was not spot-checked.
 * Notes will summarize problems found and what needs to be done to fix them

General

 * Normalize references to U.S. / US / USA / United States, make all references same, probably "United States"
 * fixed now

MOS compliance

 * Could use general WP:MOSNUM cleanup

Lead

 * Following sources are used only in lead and not in body. Generally the article lead should not have sources or content that aren't covered in the body:
 * Bray 2011, National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, CDC "ADHD Diagnosis", A.D.A.M, Nair 2006, Rader 2009, Van Cleave 2008, others...
 * For a specific example, look at the epidemiology information, it's sourced in the lead but unsourced in the body. It really should be the other way around.
 * Fixed now


 * According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR), symptoms emerge before seven years of age. - are there other noteworthy "official" diagnoses other than the DSM? If not, this sort of attribution is probably not necessary.  To more closely reflect the source, consider "A diagnosis requires that significant symptoms appear before age 7."
 * Fixed now
 * and is diagnosed in about 2 to 16 percent of school-aged children. - does this need to be localized to the USA?
 * X Not addressed yet; the journal article used cites uptodate.com, I don't have access, can you please ask Doc James to check out whether uptodate.com localizes this figure of "2 to 16 percent" to the USA or not? I've often seen that the writing in country-specific journals (this one's named "American Family Physician") assume the scope of their country and not a global scope.
 * I went ahead and put this question to Doc on his User Talk page.  15:41, 31 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Answer is: The article content stating 2 to 16 percent should be qualified as in the USA.
 * fixed
 * There are three subtypes of the disorder which consist of it being predominantly inattentive (ADHD-PI or ADHD-I), predominantly hyperactive-impulsive (ADHD-HI or ADHD-H), or the two combined (ADHD-C), which shows all three difficulties. - consider: There are three subtypes of the disorder: predominantly inattentive (ADHD-PI or ADHD-I), predominantly hyperactive-impulsive (ADHD-HI or ADHD-H), or the two combined (ADHD-C), which shows all three difficulties.
 * fixed
 * ADHD impacts school-aged children - the use of impacts as a verb isn't standard English usage, consider "ADHD affects school-aged children"
 * fixed

Signs and symptoms

 * Predominantly inattentive type symptoms as listed by the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health may include:[21] - agreement problem with the following bullet items, which are all introduced with present-tense verbs; consider changing to "According to the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health, an individual with inattentive-type symptoms may:"
 * Doc James made a change in this area but the issue is still there
 * fixed now
 * Same sort of fix needs to be done for Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type symptoms may include and and also these manifestations primarily of impulsivity
 * Doc James made a change in this area but the issue is still there
 * fixed now
 * The article is quoting big chunks of the NIMH document. I think that's actually OK as it's the public domain product of the US Gov't, but I put in a question to  to make sure it's OK.
 * Got the answer from Moonriddengirl, it's OK to quote extensively from the NIMH document as it's public domain  15:25, 1 August 2013 (UTC)

Associated disorders

 * Oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder, which occur with ADHD at a rate of 50 percent and 20 percent respectively, - should say 'approximately'
 * Fixed now
 * Inattention and hyperactive behavior are not necessarily the only problems in children with ADHD. ADHD exists alone in only about 1/3 of the children diagnosed with it.[citation needed] The combination of ADHD with other conditions can greatly complicate diagnosis and treatment. Many co-existing (comorbid) conditions require other courses of treatment and should be diagnosed separately instead of being grouped in the ADHD diagnosis.[citation needed] - need sources
 * Fixed now
 * Anxiety disorders, have been found to occur more commonly in the ADHD population. - comma unneeded
 * serious substance misuse problems should be treated first due to the serious risks and impairments that occur,[10]:p.38[32] with long-term alcohol misuse and long-term cannabis misuse and other drug misuse. - needs to be reworded per WP:MEDMOS to avoid sounding prescriptive (the part stating "X should be treated first"), reword to something like "those treated for X first have better outcomes or prognosis"
 * Fixed now
 * Restless legs syndrome, is associated with ADHD and is often due to iron deficiency anaemia. - consider "Restless legs syndrome. This is associated with ADHD and is often due to iron deficiency anaemia."
 * Acceptable now
 * Sleep disorders such as obstructive sleep apnea syndrome, can cause neurocognitive and behavioural symptoms - needs same fix as restless legs
 * Acceptable now
 * Anxiety and depression are some of the disorders that can accompany ADHD. Academic studies, and research in private practice suggest that depression in ADHD appears to be increasingly prevalent in children as they get older, with a higher rate of increase in girls than in boys, and to vary in prevalence with the subtype of ADHD. - unsourced
 * Fixed now, was duplicate, removed

Genetics

 * Hyperactivity also seems to be primarily a genetic condition; however, other causes have been identified.[46] - Sourced to Barkley's on-line course. On further reflection, this on-line course does not really meet WP:MEDRS and so a better source needs to be found.  Can this be sourced to ?
 * fixed now

Executive function

 * however, "EF weaknesses are neither necessary nor sufficient to cause all cases of ADHD".[50] - need to mention who you're quoting here, like as Willcutt et al. explain, "EF weaknesses are neither necessary nor sufficient to cause all cases of ADHD".[50]
 * Both Willcutt 2005 and Nass 2005 are really insufficient sources here per WP:MEDDATE, especially as there are plenty of more up-to-date sources that cover the same thing, and as the sources themselves say that the investigation of EF related to ADHD has been an area of active research we really need to use more up-to-date sourcing. The full text of Brown 2008 can be found here, would you please remove Willcutt 2005 and Nass 2005 and redo the EF content as necessary using Brown 2008 and other more up-to-date sourcing.  Also why not insert that URL in the Brown 2008 ref.
 * fixed now

Evolution

 * At more than 1 percent of the population, researchers have proposed - this says that researchers make up more than 1 percent of the population, consider "Researchers have proposed that the high prevalence of ADHD - more than 1 percent of the population - may be due..."
 * fixed now
 * The entire Evolution section really isn't a "Cause" by itself per se but provides the background for the genetics. Consider moving this section in with Genetics
 * This suggestion was declined but still OK for GA
 * Consistent with this, another group of researchers observed that the health status of nomadic Ariaal men was higher if they had the ADHD associated genetic variant (7R alleles). However in recently sedentary (non-nomadic) Ariaal those with 7R alleles seemed to have slightly worse health.[58] - this is all based on an orphaned primary source, can you provide a secondary source to show that WP:DUEWEIGHT is satisfied?
 * fixed, now sourced to acceptable secondary source (book by Kiaris)

Environmental

 * Section name "Environmental" should be renamed "Environment" for consistency
 * fixed now
 * Exposure to tobacco smoke during pregnancy impairs normal development of the feotus including the central nervous system and can increase the risk of the child being diagnosed with ADHD - needs commas
 * fixed now
 * Children exposed to lead, even relatively low levels of lead - consider "Children exposed to even relatively low levels of lead"
 * fixed now
 * however, the evidence is not definitive as 5 of 17 studies failed to find an association.[65] - generally, avoid talking about the underlying studies, just summarize the quality of the evidence
 * fixed now
 * Diet: Weiss and food colorings - I'm concerned undue weight is being given to his views. I took a quick look at his literature and citations and he seems to have a minority view. Are there no other diet factors being studied besides food colorings?  What about sugar and fats?
 * Why? :-O It is not really his views per se - he is just reviewing the literature and summarizing the history of this issue. Sugar and fats are not associated with ADHD from my understanding. Although I believe there is some evidence for omega 3 fatty acids. I have added some more content regarding omega 3 fatty acids to the medication section. :-)-- MrADHD  |  T@1k?  21:49, 9 August 2013 (UTC)
 * ok

Social

 * Rename subsection as "Relationships" or something like it, needs to be a noun to match the other subsections
 * suggestion was declined but it's acceptable
 * Other researchers believe that relationships with caregivers have a profound effect on attentional and self-regulatory abilities. A study of foster children found that a high number of them had symptoms closely resembling ADHD.[73] - sourcing is insufficient, it's primary, from 2002, I can't find any relevant specialized academic credentials for the lead author Finkelstein, and the paper is the non-peer-reviewed product of an advocacy organization. This content needs to be removed or attributed to a better source.
 * fixed now as removed

Diagnosis

 * ADHD is diagnosed three to four times more commonly in boys than in girls - consider "more often"
 * reworded now
 * Factors other than those within the DSM or ICD, however, have been found to affect the diagnosis in clinical practice. For example, a study found that the youngest children in a class are much more likely to be diagnosed as having ADHD compared to their older counterparts in the same year. This is because these children may behave more hyperactively, not because they have ADHD, but because they are younger and developmentally behind their classmates. It is estimated that about 20 percent of children given a diagnosis of ADHD are misdiagnosed because of the month they were born.[85] - a lot of emphasis is being given here to an individual primary study, it seems WP:UNDUE, please trim back or find secondary source to support.
 * trimmed back
 * The previously-used term ADD expired with the most recent revision of the DSM - which is the most recent version referred to here, IV or V? Which was the last one ADD was used in?
 * reworded/fixed now

Classification

 * OK

DSM-IV

 * DSM-V was just released, would it be possible for you to add that?
 * Fixed now

ICD-10

 * OK

Other guidelines

 * Additionally other neurodevelopmental disorders), as well as tics - extra parenthesis?
 * fixed now
 * Can the AACAP's guidelines be done as prose instead of a bullet list per WP:USEPROSE?
 * suggestion declined but acceptable for GA

Differential

 * Symptoms of ADHD such as low mood and poor self-image, mood swings, and irritability can be confused with dysthymia, cyclothymia or bipolar disorder as well as with borderline personality disorder,[1] - should prob. end with period not comma
 * fixed now

Management

 * ok

Psychosocial

 * It is recommended first line in - the recommended first line treatment ?
 * fixed now (had to add back the start of the sentence that went missing)
 * and outdoor activities.[102] - this is the only treatment listed here that is sourced to a primary source, and it's out of date. Are there up-to-date secondary sources that cover outdoor/"green" treatment?
 * fixed now as removed

Medication

 * - this is one of the more well-done sections

Prognosis

 * Smucker 2001, WP:MEDDATE problem, is still being used alongside newer source, can this source be removed?
 * fixed now as removed
 * In the United States, 37 percent of those with ADHD do not get a high school diploma even though many of them will receive special education services.[46] - Sourced to Barkley, which isn't sufficient. Can you find the underlying source Barkley uses to source this statement?  Otherwise the statement can probably just be removed
 * fixed now as removed

Epidemiology

 * or that females with ADHD are less likely to be diagnosed than males - why?
 * fixed now, explanation provided

History

 * a little thin, but acceptable for GA
 * I see some more content added, good
 * Amphetamines (Benzedrine) was the first medication approved for use in the United States with methyphenidate introduced in the 1950s and dextroamphetamine (Dexadrine) in the 1970s. - a few errors here, consider "In the 1930s, the amphetamine mixture Benzedrine was the first medication approved for use in the United States. Methylphenidate was introduced in the 1950s, and dextroamphetamine (Dexadrine) in the 1970s."
 * as amended

Society and culture

 * A number of notable individuals have given controversial opinions on ADHD. Scientologist Tom Cruise has referred to the ADHD medications Ritalin and Adderall as being "street drugs" - this viewpoint (as well as his other viewpoints on psychiatry) has received criticism - for example the doses of stimulants used in the treatment of ADHD do not cause behavioural addiction and there is some evidence of a reduced risk of later substance addiction in children who had their ADHD treated with stimulants.[133] - please break up run-on sentence, and as the response is also published as an opinion it needs to be attributed to the author Neill
 * X almost there - the response still needs to be attributed in-line to Neill
 * fixed now
 * Scientologist, Baroness ... a leading neuroscientist - should remove these qualifiers, they are editorializing, if readers want backgrounds on these individuals they can click on the Wikilinks
 * fixed now
 * In England Baroness Susan Greenfield, a leading neuroscientist, spoke out publicly in 2007 in the House of Lords about the need for a wide-ranging inquiry into the dramatic increase in the diagnosis of ADHD in the UK and possible causes following a BBC Panorama programme that highlighted US research (The Multimodal Treatment Study of Children with ADHD by the University of Buffalo) suggesting drugs are no better than other forms of therapy for ADHD in the long term.[134] - please break up run-on sentence
 * fixed now

Controversies

 * With a "wide variation in diagnosis across states, races, and ethnicities" some investigators suspect that factors other than neurological conditions play a role when the diagnosis of ADHD is made.[85] - if you have a quote like this you have to attribute it in the content, state who is saying it
 * This is not a direct quote and should not have been placed in quotations so I just deleted the quotations. :-)-- MrADHD  |  T@1k?  11:28, 13 August 2013 (UTC)

Adults

 * Some ADHD symptoms in adults differ from those seen in children — for example whereas children with ADHD may climb and run about excessively, adults may experience an inability to relax and talk excessively in social situations. - consider "Some ADHD symptoms in adults differ from those seen in children. For example, while children with ADHD may climb and run about excessively, adults may experience an inability to relax, and talk excessively in social situations."
 * fixed now
 * Adults with ADHD may start relationships impulsively and may display sensation seeking behaviour and be short-tempered. - consider "Adults with ADHD may start relationships impulsively, display sensation-seeking behaviour, and be short-tempered."
 * fixed now

High IQ children

 * When compared with children without ADHD evidence supports - consider: "When children with ADHD are compared to compared without, evidence supports..."
 * Not sure that your proposed sentence makes sense?-- MrADHD  |  T@1k?  11:47, 13 August 2013 (UTC)
 * X The problem is that the current sentence construction is not saying what the children without ADHD are being compared to. Let's simplify the whole thing, how about:  "Children with ADHD are more likely to repeat grades and have more social and functional impairments." ?
 * fixed now


 * Additionally, more than half of high IQ ADHD people - consider: "Additionally, more than half of people with high IQ and ADHD..."
 * In this section if you're talking about "high IQ" as a descriptor phrase I think it needs a hyphen, "high-IQ"
 * acceptable as-is

Media

 * Why not use File:Adhdbrain.gif too
 * I read the archived Talk page discussion on this and now understand why it needs not to be used.  02:27, 30 July 2013 (UTC)
 * The image File:Adhd-facts1.jpg actually does not appear to be properly licensed, regardless of what the file says. It appears to be a copyrighted image without WP-compatible licensing, see here.  It needs to come out and the image file needs to be nominated for deletion.    02:27, 30 July 2013 (UTC)
 * fixed by Doc James.   14:38, 30 July 2013 (UTC)