Talk:Davitt McAteer

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Wrenmcdaniel, Wattersac, Bonhoffrm.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 19:50, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Peyton's Peer Review
"Comments From [Peyton Woodman]"

Awesome intro, good references to his written work and a good starting point and overview for quick understanding. "1972-1983" It would be cool to have references or wiki links to the two laws, maybe a link to what laws accomplished or standards they set for condensed or focused understanding. "1994-2000" Good that you added what the acronym MSHA stands for. "2001-Present" Title of the book may need quotes around it, think I may have seen same thing elsewhere but not sure for citation standards for in-line books. The last bit is kind of sloppy having split bibliography from his works and citations used, then having another section between them. Overall a very well worded and cited article. I did not see any grammatical or plagiarism issues.

Woodywood196 (talk) 17:41, 27 March 2018 (UTC)

I added the lead section, I'm having trouble finding his birth date though. Bonhoffrm (talk) 19:49, 26 February 2018 (UTC)

Kayla's Peer Review
Overall a really well-written article-- I didn't find any spelling/grammar issues. I liked how you organized his contributions into time intervals. I don't see any missing citations or plagiarism. Maybe in your references, give the names of the UWV alumnis? And the publications section seems a little redundant, the way that the publications are listed in a bullet point list and then listed in a bibliography. Maybe opt for one or the other? One thing that I'd recommend is using a wiki-link to things like UMWA or Big Branch, so that readers can click to get more background information as they read. Otherwise, I think all the information in this article is relevant and unbiased, not too much and not too little. Good job! Mitchellka (talk)

Peer Review by EJR
Things that worked: Information is very well written, lead section is solid just needs proper citations.

suggestions: I would check out some other authors wiki pages and streamline your formatting. citations need to be fixed and resources need to be consolidated/properly linked. some information is repeated, which is understandable for a group project.

RichardsonEJ (talk) 02:36, 22 March 2018 (UTC)

Comments from Robert Lee Davis III
Good start but information needs to be added if possible. When looking at the layout it looks okay, but it needs more bulk in the years section or you need to change what years you are talking about. If there isn't enough information about each sections of years just make the difference between the years broader. I would work to make each section look like 2001 to present, that is a good amount of information for the section. Bibliography should be in a section header, and should also have it below the legacy section. Citations look good but there is a mistake in the following sentence: "J. Davitt McAteer is an American lawyer, author, and activist from Fairmont, West Virginia (error in citation)". In addition, if there are any words or subjects that can connect to another wiki article you can hyperlink them within the editor. Spelling, grammar and tone sound good throughout the article and think your group is off to a good start, just work on bulking up some of the sections. — Preceding unsigned comment added by TheLeeDavis (talk • contribs) 12:46, 27 March 2018 (UTC)

Comments from Jessica Rogers
There are no spelling errors in this article, but there are punctuation errors including run-on sentences. Specifically, some commas could be added to the "2001-present" section. As for the general layout, the timeline may not be the best way to organize information. Some sections are considerably longer than others. For example, the first timeline section is only one sentence whereas the "2001-present" section has nine. The content needs to be better referenced. The "J. Davitt McAteer" section is not properly referenced as the link is broken. If the link did work, the rest of the paragraph would still need more sources. The tone and overall writing style is unbiased and informative. I think if more information is added to the smaller sections or they are combined somehow the layout would come together. Simple addition of references would also benefit the article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rogersjl6 (talk • contribs) 13:38, 27 March 2018 (UTC)

Comments from Evan Batchelor
Formatting could use some work. Look at other biographical pages to get a good idea of what they should look like. For example, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neville_Chamberlain. Add more links to appropriate pages on wikipedia, at first instance of mention, like MSHA and other laws. If possible, expand biographical information, including a public domain picture if available. Consider using the general cut and thrust of the time periods as subheadings rather than the time period themselves, although the dates need to be described within if you go that route. Good citations, but could be more thorough. Who says he improved mining safety regulations in 1972? Typically pages have references, not bibliographies. Publications may need year published and whom the publishers were. What did the big takeaways from the laws he helped enact?

Consider changing the second NASA to "the agency" in the sentence, "A statement made by a NASA official...". — Preceding unsigned comment added by Batchelorec (talk • contribs) 17:07, 27 March 2018 (UTC)

Comments from Bryson Honeycutt
Great start but there are some problems with the structure of the article. I think that the timeline needs to be worked on. It lacks balance, flow, and generally more information. The Introduction is good and describes the rest of the page thoroughly. The page needs better sources, "“J. Davitt Mcateer .” Wvu Alumni Page, West Virginia University, www.alumni.wvu.edu/give-back/academy-of-distinguished-alumni/j-davitt-mcateer." this one is broken and cannot be accessed. I found no grammatical errors other than the ones described above. Overall I think that the page offers good knowledge, but needs minor work. Bryson H (talk) 19:12, 27 March 2018 (UTC)