Talk:Eucalyptus gomphocephala/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Grungaloo (talk · contribs) 23:10, 12 December 2023 (UTC)

Hi, I'm going to take this review on. I'll try to have my feedback completed for you in the next few days. These are just my suggestions, so please feel free to disagree with me! Ping me if you have any questions! grungaloo (talk) 23:10, 12 December 2023 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it well written?
 * A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
 * See comments below Issues addressed
 * B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
 * Layout looks good, no formatting issues
 * 1) Is it verifiable with no original research?
 * A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
 * Refs are separated
 * B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
 * See below - specifically Natural History section Issues addressed
 * C. It contains no original research:
 * No obvious OR, everything seems sourced.
 * D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
 * No copyvio/plagiarism found
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
 * Not an expert, but nothing obviously omitted.
 * B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
 * Sufficient but not overwhelming detail.
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * Meets NPOV
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * Stable, no recent reverts
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * All appropriately licensed and attributed
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * Good images and captions
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * See comments below Passed!

General Issues

 * ✅ MOS:CITEPUNCT - Description section seems to suffer from this the most. Suggest reviewing where citations are and making sure they're placed after punctuation, namely end of sentences, rather than breaking up text.
 * All sources moved to after punctuation.
 * ✅ MOS:LINKONCE - Some wikilinks are repeated within a section. For instance, pedicel in the Description section. Suggest a general review to look for these.
 * Duplicate links within section removed
 * ✅ Use of serial (Oxford) comma seems inconsistent. It looks like you prefer to not use it, but some sections differ (Uses, Ecology, Natural history). Either way is correct, but I suggest making sure it's consistent across the article.
 * Standardised to no oxford commas. I will admit I only learned today what an oxford comma is. In hunting these commas down I did some more copy editing as well.
 * ✅ "Tuart" vs "The tuart" - when describing the species in general, both are used throughout the article. Suggest making it consistent.
 * Standardised to "Tuart", not including when discussing woodlands or ecosystems...

Lead

 * ✅ - What does it mean to be a forest giant? Suggest explaining it's meaning. Also, suggest adding "and is" in front of "one of the six..."
 * Added in the "and is", can't find a strict meaning for the forest giants but I'm assuming it means the dominant tree forming the overstory of different types of forest. I'll keep looking into it though. Added a defiition in the ecology section with a reference.
 * ✅ - Run on sentence. Needs a comma before "but" or split into two sentences.
 * Comma added in
 * ✅ - "rough, box-like bark"
 * Changed to "rough, box-like bark"
 * ✅ - Are the leaves light and green, or light green in colour? If you're referring to the colour, I suggest hyphenating light-green, or putting a comma between glossy and light. Also need a comma between "or falcate shape, and have a leaf blade..."
 * One source says green the other light green so I changed it to "glossy light-green to green adult leaves" and comma added in to say "falcate shape, and have a leaf blade"
 * ✅ - This sentence seems to be missing a word but I'm not sure which. "With white to cream inflorescence that form in the leaf axils"?
 * that added in - poor proofing on my behalf.
 * ✅ - Not necessary, but maybe use something other than obconic to make the lead friendlier to non-botanists? Alternatively, move the wikilink Obconic up here rather than in the description section.
 * Left wording but added link for obconic in.
 * ✅ - "a continuous strip...", this is somewhat confusing. Is this continuous strip referring to to the "narrow coastal corridor", or is a separate strip somewhere else?
 * Changed "continuous strip" to "continuous corridor" to be consistent. Do you think thats better?
 * I like it, it makes it clearer that they're the same thing. grungaloo (talk) 00:14, 16 December 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ - Comma not needed.
 * Comma removed
 * ✅ - "when it was available" - unclear why it's not available? The article doesn't seem to expand on this either.
 * removed the "when it was available" part. Most tuart forests are protected now so tuart wood is not easily found. The sources don't explicitly say this though. Hughesdarren (talk) 04:10, 13 December 2023 (UTC)

Description

 * ✅ - "at the southern end of the trees' range" (possessive).
 * fixed
 * ✅ - rough, box-like bark
 * fixed
 * ✅ - Run on sentence, need to add some commas or break into multiple sentences. Also [fn 9] should go after "fibrous".
 * Done - spit into two sentances and ref moved.
 * ✅ - "cross-section and often have oil glands situated in the pith, although sometimes there are not many and they can be..."
 * Fixed
 * ✅ - "to the stem via a stalk and always have...". Also, another run-on sentence. Needs a comma before "then have an alternate arrangement".
 * Oh god I swear English is my first language, it never seems wrong until someone points it out. Fixed.
 * ✅ - Run on, comma needed before "and often curved."
 * fixed
 * - This sentence needs some work. It's maybe broken off from the previous one at some point during an edit? Even so, it feels like it's trying to convey several separate ideas. I suggest taking a second pass at it and maybe breaking it up.
 * Advice taken, it was a bit of a word jumble. reworded - do you think this is better?
 * ✅ - Can drop the "between January and April" since it's repeating the previous sentence.
 * Done
 * ✅ - need an and after the comma, or it should be a separate sentence.
 * Changed to "and are said."
 * ✅ - "with a hemispherical shaped operculum that is wider than..." - Verb/subject agreement.
 * done.
 * ✅ - Needs capital at start of sentence. Also, "at the base (or locule) and holds the ovary..."
 * done
 * ✅ - "The fruit has a level disc" or "The fruits have a level disc". Subject/verb agreement.
 * done
 * ✅ - Are these two sentence or one? Think it's missing a period.
 * Ooops, full stop included.

Taxonomy and naming

 * ✅ - Comma needed after "New South wales National Herbarium".
 * added
 * ✅ - Comma needed after "meaning  'club'".
 * added
 * ✅ - Able to fix this wikilink?
 * link removed, Hopefully someone with a better grasp of taxonomy will do this one day.
 * ✅ - Period after mouarn should be removed. Also, MOS:FOREIGNITALIC, I believe those should be in italics, except maybe for tuart since it's a common name.
 * done, used bold italics.

Distribution

 * ✅ - See above, "a continuous strip" clause feels out of place.
 * Changed to continuous corridor as before.
 * ✅ - Should replace "It" with the name of the tree since it's at the start of a new paragraph.
 * Changed "It" to "Tuarts"

Uses

 * ✅ - Comma needed after "a durable hardwood".
 * Done
 * ✅ - furniture manufacturing
 * Done
 * ✅ - Comma needed after "over-logging". Also, is there a citation for this paragraph?
 * Comma and sources added.
 * ✅ - Sounds a bit odd, maybe try "In 1939, it was noted as a high quality source, although..."
 * Changed
 * ✅ - "can be used for the extraction", this sounds like it's used in the process of extracting essential oils. Not exactly sure how to reword though.
 * Changed to "Essential oils are extracted from leaves and fruits of the tree." Is that better?
 * ✅ The two sentences explain the constituent parts of the oil aren't consistent. One puts the percentages in brackets and the other doesn't. Both work, but should just use one style. Also, the first sentence of the next paragraph is a duplicate and can be removed.
 * Added brackets to all % values and in same order. Duplicate removed.
 * ✅ - Comma between "antimicrobial activity" and "with the essential oil". Also, "against most of the strains of the microorganisms it was tested against" - is this necessary? I'm not sure it's required since it's implied by the antimicrobial activity.
 * Comma added. I had noted the use of "most strains of microorganisms" in the source. Maybe it is specifying that it is not effective against all strains. Probably not necessay and removed.

Ecology

 * ✅ - see above, if you can explain "Forest Giant" that would be great.
 * Still looking but no luck yet. Some luck found a reference and added "The informal definition of a giant tree is that it must be significantly larger than other species and exceed 100 m3 in volume."
 * ✅ - The wikilink in this sentence stretches too far I think. Could maybe drop the binomial name and just wikilink "Tuart woodlands".
 * OK changed to "tuart woodlands and forests"
 * ✅ - can drop "is noted as a".'
 * removed
 * ✅ - Suggest dropping this wikilink since it's red, or shortening it to just the "Banksia woodlands".
 * link fixed (by another editor)? It's blue now.
 * ✅ - Missing a word - "than can affect/infest newly felled trees"?
 * Ooops more poor proofing on my behalf. Added "affect".
 * ✅ - someone else flagged this as needing clarification.
 * Fixed, It was missing a word but added some additional details anyway.
 * I think it's still unclear. The sentence starts by talking about fire events, but then says that the seeds are released to overwhelm predators. I'm not sure how fire links to predators, is one of those incorrect?grungaloo (talk) 00:04, 19 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Would "Tuart normally release seed gradually and the seeds are open to predation by ants, meaning the soil seed bank is kept low. Following events such as fire the seeds will be released all at once, this overwhelms the rate of predation and the temporarily increase the soil seed bank" be better or should it just be shortened to "Tuart normally release seed gradually and the seeds are open to predation by ants, meaning the soil seed bank is kept low" What do you think?
 * Changed to first option.
 * ✅ - comma not needed
 * Comma removed
 * ✅ - This sounds off. Dropping the parenthetical gives "and that of organisms was identified as a new species". I think it needs a rewrite.
 * Rewritten to say "A study in 2007 of infected or deceased tuart trees and woodland identified isolates of Phytophthora cinnamomi, already implicated in the decline of tuart. Another organism Phytophthora multivora, previously identified as Phytophthora citricola complex was also found and identified."
 * ✅ - "Damage to reproductive processes"?
 * fixed
 * ✅ - A few issues here. "no studies on specifically on...", drop the first On. The rest is a run on sentence, some commas need to be introduced or the sentence should be split. You could probably put commas around the "such as... Eucalyptus marginata", and before "and fewer insects".
 * Broke into two sentences instead saying "Despite no studies having been specifically conducted on E.gomphocephala, other studies indicate that Eucalypts that create smaller flowers which are cream or white such as Eucalyptus muelleriana, Eucalyptus foecunda and Eucalyptus marginata. These trees all have smaller volumes of more concentrated nectar and are grouped to produce large conflorescences will mostly attract insects. Birds and animals less often are attracted to these flowers less often. Do you think that is better?
 * ✅ - Same as above, needs some commas.
 * Also broke into two sentences. "Eucalypts that produce large flowers with red or yellow coloured filaments such as Eucalyptus stoatei, Eucalyptus incrassata and Eucalyptus rhodantha and have larger volumes of less concentrated nectar will attract more mammals and birds. These trees tend to attracted fewer insects."
 * ✅ - Wikilinking birds typically uses the common name, so you could drop the binomials here and move the links. Also, the semicolon should be a colon.
 * fixed
 * ✅ - "A wide variety of insects... recorded in mass flowerings"? "including 84 different species of insects" - It was already stated that this is talking about insects so it's not needed again here. Also, semicolon should be a colon.
 * fixed

Natural History

 * ✅ This section seems to rely on a single source which I don't have access too. WP:AGF that it checks out and this isn't copied directly from the book, but are you able to find corroborating sources for any of it?
 * Added a couple of sources that corroborate the chronology and a few other deatils. The current text fits the broader timeline.
 * ✅ "Hectare" and "ha" are both used for measurement, suggest sticking with "ha" and maybe doing a convert to acres or km2 too.
 * Changed to ha and converted to acres.
 * ✅ - Which colony?
 * Swan River Colony - link added.
 * ✅ - "the value to industries...", should either be a semicolon before this, or split to it's own sentence.
 * Split into two sentences "The utility of the timber was remarked on by George Fletcher Moore, the 1830s colonial diarist. The value to industries such as shipbuilding was derived from its resistance to splitting and splintering."
 * ✅ - I think you can drop "at the coast". This is implied by "ports".
 * Removed
 * ✅ - the middle clause "impressed by straight trunked specimens" feels like a sentence fragment the way it's placed. You could maybe run it together with the preceding clause.
 * Changed to "..tuart forest as 81000ha in 1895, and was impressed by straight.." Is that better?
 * - Is the emphasis from the source itself or added after?
 * I don't know, I don't have access to the source either.
 * No worries! grungaloo (talk) 01:21, 19 December 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ - "a regulation on the export of tuart"
 * Fixed
 * ✅ - Should "State Forest No. 1" be the start of a new sentence?
 * Yes it should, fixed.
 * ✅ - change to "2500ha"
 * Done
 * ✅ - citation needed
 * Added

Discussion
Hi, I've completed my initial review. I think this article can make GA status, but will need some work. The content is strong, so it's largely prose issues. My comments are listed above, broken out by section. Let me know if you have any questions, or ping me when you're done reviewing! grungaloo (talk) 01:23, 14 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your efforts, I'll plug away at fixes and let you know when I'm done. As you may have guessed my copy editing skills are not strong so thanks for setting me straight on my many errors. Regards. Hughesdarren (talk) 03:24, 14 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Hi, That took me longer than I thought it would. I think I'm done now. Regards. Hughesdarren (talk) 07:34, 18 December 2023 (UTC)
 * No worries, ! We're almost there, thanks for all the prose fixes. There's one more sentence that needs clarification in the Ecology section. Once that's sorted it will be ready to promote. I also corrected a few minor typos/grammar fixes that I had missed the first go through, feel free to check my edits and change them back if needed. grungaloo (talk) 01:23, 19 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks heaps for all your copy editing and advice . I had another go at that sentence in Ecology and have two alternatives. Let me know what you think. Cheers. Hughesdarren (talk) 01:32, 19 December 2023 (UTC)
 * I prefer the first option personally. grungaloo (talk) 01:40, 19 December 2023 (UTC)
 * No worries Changed to option one. Hughesdarren (talk) 02:47, 19 December 2023 (UTC)