Talk:Forced labor in California

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Reikosimmons.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 21:23, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Untitled
Hi Alexa,

I've finished reading your article, and here are my thoughts (they assume that you finished):

Outstanding things:

-Very well researched article. You managed to research the history of enslavement of indigenous peoples in California in the last half-millennium, and as someone from California, I was very impressed with the scope of research while reading your article.

-Divide between section topics is very clear. Unlike some articles, you don't expand a new section whenever you feel like it, and the transition is distinct.

-Citations were plentiful, which is always good.

Almost-there things:

- Word count (I think this has to be over 2000?)

- Tone sometimes was not completely objective (it is not ideal to do this, even if you cite a source) Ex. "fearing them for no historical reason"

Good job! Ryan Li

--Liryans (talk) 13:53, 11 April 2015 (UTC)

Hello, this is Peter Carley from your Human Rights of Indigenous Peoples class with some feedback for the peer-review component of class. Some strong points of your article include:
 * Outlining how An Act for the Government and Protection of Indians was interpreted and applied in California. Many Wikipedia articles discuss new laws, but fail to make it clear to the reader why the laws are relevant to the issue at hand. You do a good job at indicating how these laws took effect.
 * Sources. You use a wide range of sources, and don't limit yourself to solely one author or point of view. This allows for a more holistic review of Enslavement of Indigenous Peoples in California, and helps make your article more in-depth.
 * Organization. Your organization of your subtitles fit well together, and no single part of your article dominates the piece. The reader can delve into both the Spanish and Mexican history of indigenous enslavement in the California and compare it to American treatment of the same groups of indigenous peoples. By including dates and figures, it is easy to know exactly when both Spanish and Mexican rule began and ended.

Some Areas that could use improvement include:
 * Images. You do not have any pictures, diagrams, or maps that help tell the story of this area at certain times. It would complement your article to have pictures of California under Spanish, Mexican, and American rule. Perhaps a map with particular indigenous groups from regions of California would be a good addition?
 * Under Gold Rush in the United States, California isn't capitalized in the first sentence.
 * Sometimes I feel like you make biased or bold statements. For example, you say "The commissioners knew nothing about the California Indians or their cultures, making the process very difficult."
 * I would suggest including more about the Spanish and Mexican history of treatment of indigenous peoples. Particularly with regard to Mexican rule, I feel like more could be said about the Colonization Act of 1824 and the indigenous struggle. Also, you could discuss the people in power in Mexico, and how they approached the treatment of these indigenous people. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Carleyp (talk • contribs) 06:20, 8 April 2015 (UTC)

Made some basic grammar edits. Helped some things flow a little better. Looks good! Evan.j.miranda (talk) 05:52, 7 April 2015 (UTC)

I think this sentence sounds a little weird. I get that you're trying to say the Mexican rule perpetuated the free labor system as can be seen through the indentured servitude of native Californians, but it can maybe be said a little more clearly. "The Mexican rule of California after the Spanish continued this trend through many of the native Californians becoming indentured servants to wealthy Mexican landowners." 2nd Paragraph Evan.j.miranda (talk) 02:01, 7 April 2015 (UTC)

Under Spanish Conquest:

"There were several recorded uprisings of Indians resisting Spanish rule, one of the earliest was the attack on the Mission San Diego on November 4, 1775. The Ipai-Tipai organized nine villages into a force of around 800 to destroy the mission and kill three of the Spanish, one of them being Padre Jaime. It should be noted, however, that not every Californian Indian uprising was violent. In September of 1795, over two hundred natives, including many old neophytes, simply deserted San Francisco all in different directions. When uprisings occurred, the natives did not go unpunished: some Indians were put to death but many were imprisoned and forced into hard labor." SOURCE??? Evan.j.miranda (talk) 02:02, 7 April 2015 (UTC)

You definitely know just as much as I do about Wikipedia, but instead of copying and pasting each of those paragraphs I'll just say that there are some like “Any person could go before a Justice of Peace" under Gold Rush and US that don't have sources. Maybe you don't need them? Evan.j.miranda (talk) 02:20, 7 April 2015 (UTC)

Hi, Overall I thought that this article was filled with good information that was supported by several reliable sources. The links to other topics were helpful in understanding terms that are specific to California history and the Native population. I was slightly distracted when the article jumped from talking about enslavement to genocide. I think that to discuss genocide there should be a transition that connects the topic of genocide with the title of the article. I found that providing history of the mission system and Spanish conquest was very important to the topic and I was glad it was included in the article. Reikosimmons (talk) 18:30, 3 October 2016 (UTC) Reiko Simmons

Reikosimmons Possibly, except that the indigenous people of California were never enslaved by the Spanish. There were instances of abuse (evidently) but not the institution nor the widespread practice of slavery. I strongly disagree with your perception of the quality of sources. The article was based on sub-standard non-academic sources (mainly activist websites) which seriously distorted the region's historical reality. Slavery evidently became widespread during the genocide after the U.S. occupation in the mid to late 19th century. In fact, the enslavement of the native american population was probably one of the main drivers of this genocide. The prior unsourced version was a severe exercise of blame-shifting, manipulation and Anglo-centric bias.Asilah1981 (talk) 10:54, 4 October 2016 (UTC)

Wiki Education assignment: Hist401
— Assignment last updated by Ghamilton5000 (talk) 20:58, 21 October 2023 (UTC)