Talk:Gender inequality in Bangladesh

Comments
Nice work! Great article with plenty of links and sources. However, the grammar needs to be improved in some places. I have spotted some grammatical mistakes but english is my second language so other people might provide better help. First paragraph recommended change " inequality remains an issue in areas such as; ....". Under Gender norms suggestion "Bangladesh is one out of seven countries in the world...". Under health; skip "to" in first sentence. Under education; skip. Under employment; Income inequalities is suggested instead of earning differentials. Are the existing income inequalities growing or is the gap shrinking? Also a source on that section might be needed.Under microcredit; I believe that it is fair to say that Bangladeshi women are targeted instead of "focuses", it is a bit harsher but I believe that it reflects reality. Under textile industry; are there any numbers on how many of the dead from the textile factory that were women? I would not be surprised if it was close to 9 out of 10. Rewrite "dont". When mentioning rape cases you should add that the cases reported are only a fraction (maybe 10%?) of those actually committed. Under discrimination; I do not understand this sentence "Domestic violence and discrimination are difficult to measure, acts of violence can be accounted for in court proceedings and police reports." explain. What could be reasons that acid violence has increased? Great article with plenty of facts Yogibjorn (talk) 05:30, 22 April 2014 (UTC)

Feedback
You have developed the article nicely since the first draft. It is more informative and supported with more scholarly work. The detailed suggestions above are good to pay attention to. In addition, I suggest a change in structure: Move the legal status section (as a standalone section) earlier in the article below or above Gender Norms. Then check CEDAW status of Bangladesh and add a few sentences on that (when ratified, any reservations etc.). Then the Discrimination section would have a number of subsections (one of them VAW). I recommend that you incorporate some ideas from the Berik and van der Meulen Rodgers 2010 Journal of International Development on working conditions problems and from Kabeer et al. on son preference (compared to India), which was on your initial sources list (I think). Kabeer is relevant for the discrimination section. I will send pdfs of these via Canvas. Other small suggested edits: instead of "issues" use "ongoing problems" "persistent problems" or simply "problems." You put the single reference at the end of a paragraph; I suggest moving it at the end of the first sentence, because the first statement often begs support. You could add more links throughout the article. The photo does not work (it shows kids, it must be mislabeled; Iocate a garment industry photo (should be feasible). Mention that Wichterich is writing on India (add a remark such as "as observed in the context of India's microcredit crisis of 2010"). Instead of a "recent" study, say a "2005" study. Pratima is first name of Paul-Majumder, so switch or be consistent throughout. World Bank is not the author of HDR 2012. Jahiruddin (spelling). Finally, but importantly, in Bangladesh the export sector that drives the economy is known as garments, not textiles. RMG sector to be exact. I think you should change textiles to garments.BerikG (talk) 18:26, 26 April 2014 (UTC)

Response to Comments/Feedback
Thank you Yogibjorn for your comments on how I could revise my article. I fixed all of the grammatical errors you pointed out in my article. I also went ahead and changed the wording in my microcredit section as you suggested. Unfortunately, with the data available to me, I haven't been able to find the percentage of women casualties in the building collapse (although I'm quite sure your 9/10 assertion isn't far from the truth). I went ahead and revised that sentence that was confusing under the Violence and discrimination against women section. I plan on researching the explanation as to why acid violence has become more commonplace. ConnorReese (talk) 15:06, 28 April 2014 (UTC)

Thank you BerikG for your feedback. I went ahead changed the "Legal status" sub-section into a regular section and moved it beneath the "Gender norms" Section. Along with that change, I went ahead and created a sub-section beneath it on CEDAW, with information on date of ratification, reservations, and court proceedings influenced by the CEDAW convention. I went ahead an created a few subsections for my VAW section as well, labeled "rape" and "domestic violence." I went ahead and also changed footnote placement to areas where support was better needed. I used the Berik and van der Meulen Rodgers article to add more information on gender inequality in the "Garment Industry" section (from which I also changed textiles to "garment" throughout the article). I was able to find a more appropriate picture on the subject and found a export industry photo. I also went ahead and added more links throughout. I made the corrections you suggested for my sources, such as the first and last name issue and the misspelling of an authors name. I added the "in the context of India" line as well to more appropriately utilize Witcherich's article. I also changed words like "issues" to "ongoing problems" ConnorReese (talk) 15:06, 28 April 2014 (UTC)