Talk:Glorieta de las mujeres que luchan/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 04:15, 29 December 2022 (UTC)

Almost there. A lot of copyediting tasks. Also see my question on source 7. 7-day hold to. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 05:15, 29 December 2022 (UTC)

Copy changes
This article has a larger amount of copy needs than most pages, mostly because of translation from Spanish.

Lead

 * On the afternoon of 25 September 2021, a group of anonymous feminists intervened the Christopher Columbus roundabout on Paseo de la Reforma Avenue. I feel like there's a missing word after "intervened", maybe "in" per Art intervention?
 * Months later, Sheinbaum informed that I hear informó lurking but I think "announced" works better in English here.
 * and that following a request Complete the appositive with a comma after "that".
 * Feminists objected to the proposal because they considered that the author was not the person indicated to honor indigenous women and a few days later they installed their own design on the plinth.
 * More idiomatic word choice for English: I'd change to because they considered the sculptor unsuited to honor indigenous women. "Indicated" doesn't have this meaning in English.
 * There is a User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences (CinS) issue. There should be a comma after "women" as there are subject and verb on both sides of the conjunction.
 * Sheinbaum, on the other hand, has commented that it is seeking to officially replace "It" is not the right pronoun. If this decision is tied to Sheinbaum, use "she". If it's more an administrative decision, use "the Mexico City government"

Background

 * However, these were not conducted and the government of the city Add a comma after "conducted" (CinS)
 * and commented that a committee I'd also use "announced" here.

History

 * The installers referred to the sculpture as the Antimonumenta Vivas Nos Queremos (Anti-monument We Want Us Alive) or as La Muchacha (The Girl), and symbolically renamed Remove the comma in this passage (CinS). Notice how "Symbolically renamed" lacks a subject of its own and depends on "the installers", before the comma, for its subject.
 * in accordance with I would use "according to" for this use of de acuerdo con
 * choice of a statue saying, "You... Add a comma after "statue"
 * from "the brave women of independence up to the present day and also those who were killed fighting for justice." MOS:INOROUT — you quote a sentence fragment here, so period outside quotations, not inside.
 * After seeing the various mistakes made by the authorities, they concluded with its organization and installation. Try rewording this, especially the back half.
 * For the action, a preliminary investigation was carried out I think "research" is better here than "investigation" which here would connote an official inquiry.
 * papel picado with the phrase "Fue el estado" (It was the state) cut into them "it", not "them", as papel picado here reads singular.
 * in a preparation for the remove "a" and "the" so it reads "in preparation for International..."
 * Also, it was symbolically installed the Garden of Memory A good case of sentence structure from Spanish not working in English. The way this sentence is structured, it would be awkward to say "the Garden of Memory was symbolically installed", and "symbolically installed" is clunky in and of itself. I'd try Also, the Garden of Memory (Jardín de la Memoria) was set up, featuring another clothesline with 300 complaints and whose goal...
 * I also wonder if the quote in this sentence could be cut down or paraphrased.
 * respectively; the later after the nearby This should be "latter" with two Ts, and that should be a comma instead of a semicolon.
 * On 12 October 2021, the government of the city announced that a replica of The Young Woman of Amajac intends to replace the monument to Columbus. This sentence does not come out right because it says that an inanimate object "intends" to do something. That intention needs to be ascribed to the government. On 12 October 2021, the Mexico City government announced that it intended to replace the monument to Columbus with a replica of The Young Woman of Amajac.
 * Feminist groups have said such talks have not taken place, that the government only wants to fulfill a political agenda and that "the state wants to hide the fact that 11 to 13 women are murdered each day [and] that more than 30 people disappear each day". Maybe a tense error. I'd also make the second item more of a "claim". In response, feminist groups stated that no such talks had taken place and claimed that the government only wanted to fulfill a political agenda, adding that "the state wants to hide the fact that 11 to 13 women are murdered each day [and] that more than 30 people disappear each day".
 * Argelia Betanzos, Mazatec lawyer, This is a case where an indefinite article ("a Mazatec lawyer") is used in English (though not in Spanish)
 * She added that The Young Woman of Amajac does not arise from the wishes of indigenous women, but from an electoral intention on the part of Sheinbaum's team and requested that before they want to place a symbol in the name of indigenous people, they should first apologize for the crimes committed against the indigenous peoples by the country's governments. I'd tweak this a bit. She added that The Young Woman of Amajac does not arise from the wishes of indigenous women but rather from an electoral intention on the part of Sheinbaum's team and requested that, before seeking to place a symbol in the name of indigenous people, they should first apologize for the crimes committed against indigenous peoples by the country's governments.
 * In a letter written by Otomi women read at the event, they requested that instead of replacing the anti-monument in Reforma, the second statue honoring Columbus in the city (Manuel Vilar, 1892) be replaced with the sculpture of The Young Woman of Amajac, as they considered that Paseo de la Reforma had already been decolonized. Maybe At the event, a letter written by Otomi women was read, requesting that—instead of replacing the anti-monument in Reforma—the city government replace another statue honoring Columbus in the city (Manuel Vilar, 1892) with the sculpture of The Young Woman of Amajac, as they considered that Paseo de la Reforma had already been decolonized.

Reception

 * consultant in Urban Development with a Gender Perspective Fields of study are generally not capitalized in English, and "gender perspective" isn't either. It's an unfamiliar term to English (it redirects to Gender studies here), so I'd maybe write "gendered urban development".
 * "Voces Mexico" should be "Voces México" with accent (but not italicized — it's a website).
 * "the art critic" should be just "art critic". This is a case where a definite article is used in Spanish but not English.
 * Regarding comments on the government and its position on the anti-monument, Fausta Gantús from the Instituto Mora [es] considered that Sheinbaum avoids recognizing the Glorieta de las mujeres que luchan and instead supports an "officialist feminism", endorsed by the female governors of her political party, the National Regeneration Movement, which Gantús considered only cheers for the president of Mexico and former leader of their party, Andrés Manuel López Obrador. Break up this onolith of a sentence. The use of "considered" here is unidiomatic as well.
 * In her opinion column in SDP Noticias, Claudia Santillana Rivera recommended to Sheinbaum paying attention I'd change to In her opinion column in SDP Noticias, Claudia Santillana Rivera recommended that Sheinbaum pay attention

Sourcing and spot checks
Earwig reveals no issues. Five sources were chosen for spot checks.


 * 7: Is there another source for the 500 years of resistance? Other items check out.
 * 9: Mentions the name difference and the non-indigenous status of Reyes: será un hombre no indígena quien realice una representación de una mujer indígena. ✅
 * 13: Summary of c. 2020 rankings of Mexico on gender equlaity indexes, generally verifies the point. ✅
 * 30: Checks out. ✅
 * 38: Faithful translation of the quote Están cambiando el discurso impuesto por el Estado sobre lo que debería ser la representación de las mujeres vulnerables. ✅

Other items

 * All images are libre licensed. File:Glorieta de las mujeres que luchan, Día Internacional de la Mujer, 2022.jpg is missing "refer to caption" alt text.
 * Thank you for the review and for the edits. I have corrected all the concerns. (CC) Tb hotch ™ 03:07, 30 December 2022 (UTC)