Talk:History of Grand Central Terminal/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 04:21, 15 October 2019 (UTC)

Opening statement
In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. — ♠Vami _IV†♠  04:21, 15 October 2019 (UTC)

This article is... massive. This review will take a while. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  04:21, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Thanks for taking it on! ɱ  (talk) 11:51, 17 October 2019 (UTC)

Alert for multiple nominators
Review time :) – ♠Vami _IV†♠  04:21, 15 October 2019 (UTC)

Lead

 * The current structure [...] The new structure [...] The current Grand Central Terminal Boring, change these up.
 * ✅ by Epicgenius, marking off. ɱ  (talk) 11:50, 17 October 2019 (UTC)

Context

 * "Background" may be a better title.
 * Drew's efforts to short-sell Harlem and New York Central stock failed, [...] This is the first mention of any short-selling of stock.
 * I reworded to mention that he tried and failed to short-sell. epicgenius (talk) 14:36, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
 * [...] having been incorporated in 1831 [...] Is there a link that could be applied here?
 * [...] having been incorporated in 1831 [...] Is there a link that could be applied here?

Grand Central Depot

 * Vanderbilt commissioned John B. Snook to design his new station, dubbed Grand Central Depot, on the site of the 42nd Street depot. Date plz
 * ✅ I'm not sure if it's necessary, because "commissioning" is intended to be a passive verb, rather than an active verb. I added the date anyway. epicgenius (talk) 14:36, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
 * The site was far outside the limits of the developed city at the time, [...] First mention of this being the case in the article.
 * This gives context to the rest of the sentence. I added an earlier mention that the area was sparsely developed. epicgenius (talk) 14:36, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Although Vanderbilt was inspired by French Classical architecture, This links to French Baroque architecture - is there referring to a specific section of the linked article? Did you mean Neoclassicism in France?
 * This is the correct link. According to the French Baroque article, French Baroque architecture, sometimes called French classicism, was a style of architecture. Neoclassicism is different. epicgenius (talk) 14:36, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
 * It was considered the largest open space in the United States at the time. Grand Central Depot was the largest railroad station in the world at the time, as it contained 12 tracks and could accommodate 150 train cars at once. This can be condensed.
 * But the tracks laid to the new terminal proved problematic. Axe the "but" here.
 * The following year, [...] Replace with the year in discussion.
 * The following year, [...] Replace with the year in discussion.
 * The following year, [...] Replace with the year in discussion.

Grand Central Station

 * [...] and there was much criticism of the station's cleanliness. Lack of cleanliness?
 * Changed "lack of cleanliness" to "filthiness". PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:07, 24 October 2019 (UTC)

Replacement

 * a majestic electric-train hub Peacock-y; remove "majestic".
 * Changed "majestic" to "high-end". Does that terminology work for you? It should be noted that Penn Station was pretty to give context as to why Grand Central was built the way it was. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:05, 24 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Perfectly operable. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  01:48, 25 October 2019 (UTC)

World War II

 * the terminal's windows were applied with blackout paint Condense to "the terminal's windows were blacked out".
 * Clarify that I think it's good to note that they were painted over, not boarded up or anything. ɱ  (talk) 14:05, 27 October 2019 (UTC)
 * I agree, but the delivery is still a little awkward. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  08:38, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
 * I rearranged the sentence a bit to remove this awkwardness, I think "applied" was the problematic word. epicgenius (talk) 14:49, 9 November 2019 (UTC)


 * The war also prompted the Farm Security Administration to install a 118 ft × 100 ft (36 m × 30 m) mural on the Main Concourse's east wall in 1941. The mural had a montage of photographs. It was part of a campaign to sell war bonds. Condense.
 * During World War II, the terminal also Delete this first clause.
 * During World War II, the terminal also Delete this first clause.

1980s: Air rights and withdrawal of intercity service

 * The project restored the building's cornice; removing blackout paint applied to the skylights during World War II; installing new doors; and cleaning marble floors and walls. Make this past-tense and replace the semicolons with commas.
 * ✅. As a courtesy, can you ping us when you have new comments? I would really appreciate it. epicgenius (talk) 04:44, 18 November 2019 (UTC)

Rehabilitation
updated :) – ♠Vami _IV†♠  04:31, 7 December 2019 (UTC)


 * Each piece of new stone What happened to the old pieces after their removal?
 * Not sure, the source doesn't say. I'm assuming they may have been recycled. epicgenius (talk) 04:39, 7 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Aw well. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  08:18, 11 December 2019 (UTC)
 * applied to the windows during World War II. Redundant, remove.
 * Done. epicgenius (talk) 04:39, 7 December 2019 (UTC)

GA progress

 * What remains to be completed in this review? ɱ  (talk) 18:34, 5 December 2019 (UTC)