Talk:James Burrill Angell/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 17:01, 16 September 2019 (UTC)

Review
Will review. Stay put! MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 17:01, 16 September 2019 (UTC)


 * Thank you for the review and for pointing out the issues below. I haven't been around the past 7 days to address them, so I'd ask for your indulgence for a couple more days to give me time to improve the article. Thanks! Sarcasmboy (talk) 05:08, 25 September 2019 (UTC)

Infobox

 * - Per WP:INFOBOXCITE, information in the infobox should be cited and found elsewhere in the body. Please add this fact in the sections.


 * - Ditto


 * - Ditto


 * - Ditto

Early life and education

 * Since there is a subsection called "Education", please keep this as "Early life"


 * - I would link the city/town where he was born.

Education

 * - Comma after the state


 * - First mention of the university in the section, please link


 * - Do the sources here say what he studied? Just curious.
 * I haven't found a reliable source that indicates what degree he graduated with, but it seems to have been in modern languages. Sarcasmboy (talk) 06:16, 25 September 2019 (UTC)

Travels

 * - So there was only one civil engineer in Boston? Or do you mean "as a civil engineer in Boston"?


 * Perhaps linking to civil engineer here clouds the meaning. He went to work in the office of E. S. Chesbrough, who was the City Engineer of Boston (http://www.waterworkshistory.us/bio/Chesbrough/index.htm). I'll try to reword this, and maybe remove the link. Do you have other thoughts on how to clarify this? Sarcasmboy (talk) 06:01, 25 September 2019 (UTC)
 * ✅ I removed the link to civil engineer and instead linked to the article about the city engineer in question.

Professor and editor

 * - link New England, for those readers unfamiliar with this area


 * - When was this? 1860? I would add it somewhere in here too.


 * - I appreciate that you're trying to add this fact in a chronological way, but its presence in a stand-alone paragraph is off. I would probably merge it where you mentioned her married, and say he had a daughter named Lois (b. 1863). Or perhaps you can say that while working for the Journal he had a daughter, but try to merge it somehow to the flow of the paragraphs.
 * ✅ Merged into later sentence


 * - First mention of the university, please link

University of Michigan

 * Great section, no issues here

Controversies

 * A complicated section given the sensitive topics covered, but no issues here.

Growth of the university

 * - Stand-alone paragraph needs a source
 * I don't think this sentence belongs here. Maybe it and the sentence about being a Regent of the Smithsonian ought to go together in a separate subsection. Will consider this. Sarcasmboy (talk) 06:27, 25 September 2019 (UTC)
 * ✅ Moved this to separate 'Honors and appointments' section, cited.


 * - same here

Diplomatic posts

 * - I'm assuming you didn't add a source in this paragraph because it is acting as a summary of its subsections? Please confirm.
 * Correct, I believe everything in this paragraph is a summary of content below. Sarcasmboy (talk) 04:42, 27 September 2019 (UTC)

Minister to China

 * - All this needs sources, since it concludes the subsection.

Maritime commissions

 * First paragraph needs a source


 * Second paragraph does too. Unsure if that source found somewhere at the end backs up the entire section and the second paragraph. The last sentences of this paragraph are unsourced.

Later years and legacy

 * - Source for this sentence too, and please link his new title for those unfamiliar with it


 * – Do sources say what he was doing in Europe? I'm assuming travel for leisure? I had him in the U.S. while reading this so it was somewhat surprising to find he got a stroke in Germany.
 * ✅ Reworded; the sources do not explicitly say what he is doing, but it is certainly leisure travel.

Notable descendants and relatives

 * - Source needed


 * - Source needed


 * - Source needed

Commemoration

 * - Source needed
 * ✅ Also reworded to clarify that Angell family objected to the renaming.