Talk:Jennie Scott Griffiths/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Grnrchst (talk · contribs) 15:33, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Criteria checklist
I'll be taking up this review, starting off with a checklist of the good article criteria, followed by a section-by-section breakdown of the article.
 * 1) Well written ✅ The article is very well-written and easily understood.
 * 2) Verifiable with no original research ✅ Every statement is referenced and are easily verified, as almost all of the cited sources contain links. The sources are reliable, coming either from journal articles, encyclopedias, history books or newspaper articles from the time (the last of which is curious, which I'll get into later). A copyvio check using earwig's tool threw up no examples of copyright violations or plagiarism.
 * 3) Broad in its coverage ✅ Covers the full biography from cradle to grave, largely without going off-topic.
 * 4) Neutral ✅ The article is written in a well-balanced manner.
 * 5) Stable ✅ Since its creation and expansion a month ago, the only edits made have been uncontroversial copy edits.
 * 6) Illustrated ✅ It has an image in the infobox. It could do with one or two in the body, but that's unimportant.

On first pass, it seems like this will only need some minor edits and some tightening up of the sourcing for verification purposes. Nice work SusunW! --Grnrchst (talk) 15:33, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * happy to make your acquaintance and looking forward to your suggestions for improving the article. Please ping me when you are finished reviewing it, as while I have marked it on my watchlist, I sometimes fail to see the notifications there. SusunW (talk) 15:55, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Done! Pleasure to be working on this with you. -- Grnrchst (talk) 16:38, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Early life and education

 * The detail about her parents' former marriages and children from those manages would probably fit better as an explanatory footnote, rather than being in the body of the text, as the information about this is largely superfluous and doesn't have any baring on the rest of the biography.
 * Except that it makes it easier for the reader to get the context of the family make-up. But, I have moved it to a note. SusunW (talk) 17:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * I'm assuming this "Randolph" is her father? This is unclear, as her father is previously named as "Stephen Randolph".
 * clarified SusunW (talk) 17:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Do the sources (Clarke 2016, p. 1; The Panola Watchman 1909, p. 7) go into any further detail about her being a child prodigy and her age when she gave these speeches? I only ask because on its face, that she was only two-years old when she started giving speeches is difficult to believe.
 * Patricia Clarke (historian) is an expert on 19th century women and she wrote "her father launching her at the age of two into the role of 'Child Wonder'. Newspaper cuttings kept in scrapbooks and loose folders now in the National Library of Australia attest to her prominence as a child prodigy". I see no reason to doubt her word that clippings substantiate that. SusunW (talk) 17:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * The explanatory footnote about her claims of studying law at Austin is quite long. Considering it mostly amounts to "She claimed X, but there are no records of this being true", I recommend cutting down on this for the sake of concision.
 * We are not allowed to draw conclusions or conduct original research. I can only lay out the facts cited by others, which I have done, and allow the reader to draw their own conclusions, as you did. Don't really see how leaving out the details helps the reader do that. SusunW (talk) 17:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Minor grammar: Recommand changing "had a job offer" to "received a job offer".
 * ✅ SusunW (talk) 17:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * If there isn't much more information about the Hagey Institute, I suggest removing the red link for now.
 * Tons of info someone could write an article based upon.,,,, SusunW (talk) 17:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Recommend standardizing the name of "her half-brother Tom Cowart" to either "Thomas" or "Tom", for the sake of consistency.
 * Okay, used Thomas. SusunW (talk) 17:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

--Grnrchst (talk) 15:49, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Think I have answered all of these. If not, let me know. SusunW (talk) 17:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Aye this is all good, thanks for addressing these points. -- Grnrchst (talk) 18:20, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Fiji (1897–1912)

 * Is "the group" supposed to be Jennie and her half-brother's family? If so, consider moving the section from "In 1893 [...]" onwards into the "Career" section.
 * Moved the sentence about the 1896 trip there. To my mind, she didn't have a formal "career" prior to that trip, just did paid gigs here and there. SusunW (talk) 18:40, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Maybe move the wikilink for United States nationality law from "United States nationals" to "nationality laws in place".
 * ✅ SusunW (talk) 18:40, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Consider either moving the whole section about nationality laws to an explanatory footnote or cutting down on it for the sake of concision. Keep the focus on Griffiths.
 * I kind of disagree, and if you want we can discuss it, but I probably won't change my mind . Her loss of nationality is a loss of her identity and is needed for context, IMO. Part of her identity was "stolen" by government policies that without asking her assumed she was no longer an American and had an allegiance to Britain. Laurie Fransman, an expert on British nationality says these laws created legal fictions for women. Most people are not even aware that this was a global situation and left many women stateless because a loss their nationality in country A without provision in country B's for her to gain their nationality left her in limbo. You will note that later, she couldn't even just retrieve her nationality when they moved back to the US, but had naturalize, as if she was a foreigner. It is an extremely important facet of women's history that I think should not continue to be buried. SusunW (talk) 18:40, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * These are all very good points. I won't push this, you're spot on. -- Grnrchst (talk) 18:46, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * If there's no further information on him, then remove the redlink for "George Littleton Griffiths", as right now it's curious that her father-in-law gets a redlink but her husband himself doesn't.
 * Notability is not inherited. Her father-in-law established the "main regional newspaper" in the Pacific (p. 3) and expanded into Samoa, while her husband could not even support the family and is not to my mind notable in any way except for his ties to his dad and his wife. Lots of sourcing on the f-i-l: ,,


 * "When her father-in-law George Littleton Griffiths died in 1908, Arthur inherited the businesses." Consider changing the "her" to "Nellie", as this sentence is internally confusing.
 * ✅ SusunW (talk) 18:40, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Unclear what "a social reporting and the news" means in context, consider re-writing for clarity.
 * ✅ SusunW (talk) 18:40, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

--Grnrchst (talk) 16:01, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Think I am done with this section, but advise me if we need to discuss further. SusunW (talk) 18:40, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Aye this is all good, thanks! -- Grnrchst (talk) 18:46, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Australia (1913–1920)

 * Recommend restructuring this sentence: "Griffiths went to work three months after having given birth to her last child in 1913 at the Australian Woman's Weekly," as "Three months after having given birth to her last child in 1913, Griffiths went to work at the Australian Woman's Weekly,"
 * ✅ SusunW (talk) 19:11, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * What does "household hints" mean?
 * Obviously I am much older than you, LOL. For the long period of time when women were limited to activity in their homes, many newspapers published hacks and diy tips for doing domestic chores and minor repairs. These were known as household hints columns. Some of the most well known were Hints from Heloise and Godey's Lady's Book of Household Hints. Not really sure what else they could be called, as that is the common name for them., (And no, we don't have an article on them and I was shocked just now to see the state of the article on Heloise Bowles Cruse and her daughter Heloise (columnist).) SusunW (talk) 19:11, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * That's very interesting, thanks for educating me on the subject! Grnrchst (talk) 19:40, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * For the sake of clarity, I suggest canging "which emerged in women's groups in 1916 and 1917," to "which emerged in women's groups following the Australian entry into World War I," or something similar.
 * Tweaked it. Happy to discuss if you think it needs further modification. SusunW (talk) 19:11, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Aim for closer consistency in how the newspapers are listed in the second sentence of the final paragraph are listed. For example, it says "Brisbane's Daily Standard" but then "the British paper, Social Democrat" and "Industrial Worker from Chicago".
 * ✅ SusunW (talk) 19:11, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

--Grnrchst (talk) 16:17, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Okay, think I'm done with this section too, but let me know if there are still issues. SusunW (talk) 19:11, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Just one thing: "the Britain's" should just be "Britain's". Otherwise, all good. -- Grnrchst (talk) 19:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Good catch! Fixed it. SusunW (talk) 20:52, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

United States (1920–1951)
No notes. --Grnrchst (talk) 16:21, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Death and legacy
No notes. --Grnrchst (talk) 16:21, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Infobox

 * The infobox lists her nationality as "American, British, American", with little extra detail, which can be confusing without reading the rest of the article. Consider adding dates.
 * Truthfully, my initial reaction is despair. Reading is a lost art. I cannot imagine why anyone would expect to garner any meaningful understanding from a list of bullet points. I've added dates, but am not happy to encourage "skimming for highlights behavior" which eliminates the need to think and evaluate context. SusunW (talk) 20:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Consider expanding with information about what she is known for, her political affiliations, employment history, spouse, parents, etc.
 * Same comment as above. If one cannot be bothered to even read the lede, which is an abstract of the text, are they really interested in learning anything? *sigh* I've added some info, but I truly do not see why we would list her non-notable husband, children, siblings, or parents, jobs, etc. in an infobox. SusunW (talk) 20:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

--Grnrchst (talk) 16:36, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Thank you so much for your thorough review. I honestly appreciate your taking the time to help with improving it. I'm willing to discuss anything you still may think needs adjusting/changing/rewriting, just ping me. SusunW (talk) 20:43, 7 October 2022 (UTC)

Closing comments
Well I'm satisfied with this review. The article was already in a solid place and my issues raised have either been resolved, addressed or answered sufficiently. This was a very enjoyable and informative process for me, I feel like I've learnt a lot from SusunW in only this short time. I'll go ahead and close this review as passed. Thanks once again for all of this and apologies if I got a bit too nitpicky with some of these issues. Congrats on getting another Good Article onto your impressive GA list. :D --Grnrchst (talk) 20:41, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * One should never apologize for improving an article. I truly cannot express enough how important I think the collaborative process is. I genuinely appreciate your time to review it. SusunW (talk) 20:45, 7 October 2022 (UTC)