Talk:Johnstown Flood National Memorial

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 20 January 2021 and 30 April 2021. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Beaminglights, Nate0023, PatFusty. Peer reviewers: TheEffect1776.

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 * A427, Johnstown Flood National Memorial, Pennsylvania, USA, sign at dam site, 2016.jpg (discussion)
 * A429, Johnstown Flood National Memorial, Pennsylvania, USA, sign at dam site, 2016.jpg (discussion)

Article Lead
I'm suggesting edits for this page which include the following: Original: "Johnstown Flood National Memorial commemorates the more than 2,200 people who died and the thousands injured in the Johnstown Flood on May 31, 1889, caused by a break in the South Fork Dam, an earthen structure."
 * In the opening sentence, it's important to mention the thousands injured along with the ones who died, as the memorial commemorates everyone. This can be accomplished by inserting, "and the thousands injured," following the first independent clause in the first sentence which reads as, "Johnstown Flood National Memorial commemorates the more than 2,200 people who died and the thousands injured in the Johnstown Flood on May 31, 1889."
 * Separating the first sentence into two for clarity improvements and to avoid saying too much at once.

New: Put a period after 1889 an then write, "The flood was caused by a break in the South Fork Dam, an earthen structure known to be structurally lacking."

I mention the other edit to the sentence in the "Earthen Structure" section of the talk page. Walker, T. "Johnstown Flood National Memorial". State Parks. Retrieved 2021-03-04.
 * Mentioning the existence of hiking trails and picnicking areas at the memorial is also an addition that's needed because its an important part of the memorial that isn't listed. Inserting, "Hiking trails connect various parts of the memorial, and picnicking areas are present throughout," before the last sentence achieves this.
 * Lastly, I will add references that support my edits including:

"Things To Do - Johnstown Flood National Memorial (U.S. National Park Service)". www.nps.gov. Retrieved 2021-03-04. Beaminglights (talk) 16:06, 3 March 2021 (UTC)


 * There were originally multiple comments here about the "earthen structure" description. I made an "Earthen Structure" heading and moved the comments there. KjessJKT (talk) 18:16, 5 March 2021 (UTC)

Earthen Structure
The article talks about the dam as an "earthen structure" but doesn't explain it very well. KjessJKT (talk) 18:16, 5 March 2021 (UTC)


 * I'll include that the "earthen structure" was structurally lacking to give some background to the readers. Beaminglights (talk) 16:06, 3 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Where in the article are you going to expand on the description of "earthen structure"? KjessJKT (talk) 18:19, 5 March 2021 (UTC)


 * is adding a hyperlink to explain more on the earthen structure. My addition to the article is just that it's, "structurally lacking." Beaminglights (talk) 22:48, 6 March 2021 (UTC)


 * I'm also suggesting adding a hyperlink for the term "earthen structure" so that readers can go and read and gain a deeper understanding as to why the South Fork Dam was structurally lacking. Nate0023 (talk) 20:01, 4 March 2021 (UTC)