Talk:Jordan Slew/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:30, 30 June 2013 (UTC)

Comments
 * "A product of..." not sure how global this is really, maybe just be more basic.
 * Reworded. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Shouldn't 86th minute be hyphenated?
 * Done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * "Slew then signed his.." no need to repeat surname here, perhaps "He then signed..
 * Changed. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * professional debut happened before professional contract. That's confusing to some of the non-expert readers.
 * Changed to 'first-team debut'. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * "late substitute " hyphenate.
 * Done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * "He made eight appearances in total for the club" infobox says 11, but then there could be some confusion with when the transfer window took place.
 * He signed for Blackburn at the end of the window so played all the league games in august for United. I've added in a bit more info to clarify. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Consider linking "leg" for non-experts.
 * Done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * "By May 2011, a number of Premier League and Championship teams had enquired about acquiring Slew's services, with United turning down a £500,000 offer from Fulham.[14][15][16][17]" four refs? Why?
 * An over enthusiastic editor - I've cut them back to two. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Link Bramall Lane.
 * Done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Don't overlink Manchester United.
 * One links to their academy team for the youth FA cup and one to the parent club for the league appearance. Not sure what else I can do about that?  Open to suggestions? Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Perhaps make it clearer (i.e. less Easter egg-like) and explicitly mention the Academy...? The Rambling Man (talk) 16:28, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Good call - done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 20:05, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
 * "Slew signed for Premier League side Blackburn Rovers on transfer deadline day, Blackburn paying a fee of £1.1 million for the player,[4][20] and Slew signing a four-year" yuck. Rephrase.  Don't repeat Slew, no need, and try not to have such a mammoth sentence.
 * Split it out and revised. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * "a deail to" typo.
 * Fixed. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * I don't think you need to relink things in every section (e.g. Championship).
 * I was under the impression you should link on fist instance within sections (as someone jumping straight to that section, particularly on mobile, won't have seen a link earlier n the text) although this seems to be a moot point so have removed as advised. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Fair point for mobile browsing, I hadn't even thought of that. Sorry to waste your time on this point, if you want to put the links back, that's just fine.  The Rambling Man (talk) 16:28, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
 * As I said, it's a moot point and MOS needs clarifying so I'm fine to go with your view mate. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 20:05, 2 July 2013 (UTC)

GAN criteria
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * Could be better.
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * Could be better.
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. Has an appropriate reference section:
 * B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

On hold, pending the comments above. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:49, 30 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Hi - I'm a bit busy with work at the moment - will work on this over the course of the next week or so. Thanks Bladeboy1889 (talk) 20:18, 30 June 2013 (UTC)
 * No problem. Ping me in a week or so.  The Rambling Man (talk) 20:19, 30 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Done it in my lunch break. One small query - see notes inline above.  Thanks. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Responded above, nearly there. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:28, 2 July 2013 (UTC)

All good, well done. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:02, 5 July 2013 (UTC)