Talk:Julian Edelman/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Larry Hockett (talk · contribs) 07:52, 12 November 2020 (UTC)

I'm happy to tackle this review. I hope to leave initial feedback by this weekend. Larry Hockett (Talk) 07:52, 12 November 2020 (UTC)

I'm sorry it took a few days to get back to this. I'll begin with some section-by-section feedback. I try to stick to the GA criteria; if I do note any issues that are very minor or would fall outside of the criteria, I'll try to mark them as such.

Lead

 * This is written well; it may be a little bit short, but we'll evaluate that after we read through all of the prose.

Early years

 * This section is really just ancestry and HS football. Do we have any information about his childhood? Did he play other sports in high school? Usually there is a little more available on early life for players who came up in the internet era.


 * "Originally raised as a Christian, his ancestry" - Julian, not Julian's ancestry, was raised as a Christian. Maybe "Edelman was originally raised as ... and his ancestry includes ..."
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:16, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

Professional career

 * I think we are glossing over his switch from QB to WR. How did he decide to make that switch? I think I remember (from his documentary) that his height was a big concern at QB. See what you can find.
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:23, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

2010 season

 * "through 15 games, having just four receptions for 14 yards" - through 15 games, he had
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:38, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

2012 season

 * "After suffering an injury" - what kind of injury (briefly)
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:38, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

2013 season

 * "Edelman became for the moment" - why for the moment? How long was the moment?
 * Couldn't find a source saying when he lost the record, but I clarified that he lost the record because his average dipped back down. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:38, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

2015 season

 * Looks a little odd having AFC Championship linked on the second mention rather than the first.

"however the Patriots" - but the Patriots
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:52, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

2016 season
"including the 77-yard touchdown" - redundant
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:52, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

2017

 * "Injured Season" - sounds odd since Edelman, not the season, was injured
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:52, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

2018

 * Briefly describe TB12.
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:52, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

Legal issues

 * "charged with a misdemeanor citation" - that's not really a charge. This section feels a bit wordy.
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:52, 19 November 2020 (UTC)

Personal life

 * "Over the last decade" - see WP:WTW, relative time references.
 * Done. Lucky7jrk (talk) 00:55, 19 November 2020 (UTC)