Talk:Kay Unger

Advert
i do not agree that this is written like an advertisement. what do you suggest i do to change it? i have already made many edits.. FashionTalk411 (talk) 20:26, 14 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Hi FashionTalk411, you've certainly made some great additions to the article. However, it still isn't written from a neutral point of view. The article reads as an advertisement for her; for instance, the lede starts with "For over twenty years, Kay Unger has been the creative head and public face of Phoebe Company LLC and its recognizable brands;", which is a fairly .. breathtaking .. way of starting off. The article continues in that same tone- more of an advert for Unger and her brands than a balanced/neutral article. I'm happy changing the advert tag to a npov tag, but either way, it need to be balanced. tedder (talk) 23:13, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Hi Tedder, the article was written using fact. I feel that it is a pretty neutral article considering that I am stating facts. I have removed some of the important information about Kay Unger because you have considered it biased. Can you please condier removing the advert tag, as I really don't want to edit out more facts about her? If you find more things that are glaringly wrong, can you please point them out to me? FashionTalk411 (talk) 18:36, 15 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Hi- your edits today have certainly improved it. I'm happy with the tag being removed now- and thanks. FWIW, it isn't necessary to remove facts, just to improve the tone of the article. I'm not capable of that type of wordsmithing or I would have done it myself. Cheers, tedder (talk) 18:40, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Okay, thanks so much! FashionTalk411 (talk) 18:48, 15 May 2009 (UTC)