Talk:Khalil Mack/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 07:41, 7 May 2020 (UTC)

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I will use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the ✅ tag to state when something is addressed.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Immediate Failures

 * It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria -
 * It contains copyright infringements -
 * It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid. These include,, or large numbers of , , or similar tags. (See also ). -
 * It is not stable due to edit warring on the page. -

Lede
Sorry about the delay on this one. Here's some thoughts:
 * American football outside linebacker - WP:SEAOFBLUE. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:09, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Where is his DOB/POB sourced? Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:09, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * for the Chicago Bears of the National Football League (NFL) - recentism. He plays for them now, but it's only been two years. Perhaps say he is a linebacker in the NFL. He currently plays... Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:09, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Mack holds the all-time NCAA record - when did he do this? Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:09, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * selected first-team All-Pro at two different positions - All-Pro needs some sort of link or explaination. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:09, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * as does defensive end. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:09, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * and signed a six-year, US$141 million extension, signed a $141 million six-year extension. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:09, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * dominant - Unless this is a quote, don't use this word. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:09, 15 May 2020 (UTC)

General

 * high school sweethearts Yolanda, a teacher, and Sandy Mack Sr., a program specialist, in Fort Pierce, Florida. - They could have met in a zoo, and it wouldn't be relevant. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * He has two brothers, Sandy, Jr. and LeDarius. - move to personal life. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Mack attended Fort Pierce Westwood High School in Fort Pierce - implied. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * He had played quarterback and was nicknamed "Bombshell Man." - what? This needs explaination, and quarterback needs a link. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * linebacker link. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * However, throwing the ball short was a major struggle for Mack so he became a linebacker. did he say this. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * link scholarship Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * So jargon is an issue in sports articles. "In his senior year, Mack had 140 tackles, including eight for a loss, and nine sacks." - if you are going to chuck out jargon, you need to explain what something is on first use. Tackles is easy enough to ignore, but what is "for a loss", and what's a "sack", if you aren't familiar? Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Also to ^^^ Keep number style consistent in a string per MOS:NUM. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * He was named third-team All-State in Florida, as well as first-team All-Area, and helped lead the Panthers to a district championship. - some of these things need links (All-). Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * rivals.com Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * After redshirting as a freshman in 2009, - what? Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * You've linked MAC, but should say the acronym out on first use. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * e totaled 68 tackles, including 14 and a half for loss, four and a half sacks, ten pass breakups, eight quarterback hurries, and two forced fumbles - what are these things? Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * half for loss (third best in the nation), - if this is notable, say it. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Is Fred Lee non-notable? Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Why are some stats in brackets, whilst some in prose? Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:20, 15 May 2020 (UTC)

GA Review

 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Comments

 * Automated note - If you fancy returning the favour, I have outstanding GA nominations that require reviewing at WP:GAN. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these, however it's definitely not mandatory. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)
 * have you got time to look at some of the above from the first pass?Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 21:22, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
 * As this has been up for quite a few days without any comments, I'm going to fail this one. If you'd like to denominate, take a look at the above, and repost at WP:GAN Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:59, 22 May 2020 (UTC)