Talk:Leslie Dixon

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Smariamartins. Peer reviewers: Soka95, JaneDoe22, Pebbles44.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 02:29, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

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Hi Smariamartins !

I read your article and I have a few comments.

First, I want say good job on the article, I really like the way the sections are separated, it has a clear structure and it is easy to understand. the article is also well written and has reliable sources. The tables are also very clear and well formatted.

The only thing I noticed that coud be changed is the imdb page which is in your References section. It is mentioned as sources 1 and 7, I don't know if that was intentional or not and also I think you could create another Heading at the bottom of your article called "External Links" and insert the imdb page there instead of in the References. You could write Leslie Dixon (add link of her imdb page on her name) at the Internet Movie Database (link the imdb page of Wikipedia on Internet Movie Database).

Overall, I enjoyed reading about this screenwriter and the way your wrote and organized your article.

JaneDoe22 (talk) 23:32, 16 March 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review — Preceding unsigned comment added by Soka95 (talk • contribs) 03:16, 18 March 2016 (UTC)

Hey! Good job on finding information for a contemporary female author!

I noticed a couple elements you could strengthen about your article.

In your section Early Life, you have two sentences right after each other that begin with "At the age of..." You say that she had office jobs once she moved to Hollywood but it is a little vague. The phrase "She learned the elements that were needed in order to make a script appealing and successful, the types of scripts that gained the most attention" is also vague. If you can show concrete proof of experience she gained or have a direct quote of how she learned about scripts that may be more helpful.

Why did Robert Cort seek Leslie Dixon for his film, when she had no previous films under her belt? The way the sentences are lined up at this time raises this question.

These following sentences sound paraphrased because of their awkward wording: "10 years of writing successful comedies resulted in films such as: Overboard (1987), Loverboy (1989), Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) and That Old Feeling (1997). After the success of these films, Dixon decided to challenge herself and tackle different genres, such as dramas and thrillers.[6]" Maybe try to phrase it like: Dixon wrote a number of successful comedies between (year) and (year) including Overboard (1987), Loverboy (1989), Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) and That Old Feeling (1997). In (year) Dixon transitioned to other genres with the adaption of Edith Warton's novel ?? (this section on Edith Warton is confusing as well in the order of the sentences.)

There is no space between thriller and The Thomas Crown Affair.

Maybe reword "Dixon continued on this path" with something like "Dixon continued to adapt novels into screenplays..."

You should include the year for Freaky Friday.

Overall good work on discussing a number of her credits! Just try to work on the structure of the writing so it is not repetitive or confusing. Soka95 (talk) 03:15, 18 March 2016 (UTC)-