Talk:Maize/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: AryKun (talk · contribs) 19:16, 2 March 2024 (UTC)


 * Many thanks for taking this on. Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:27, 2 March 2024 (UTC)

?


 * Yeah, sorry for the delay, I seem to have bitten off a bit more than I can chew in terms of GAN reviews.
 * Yes, I'm reviewing 5 and am awaiting responses on all of them!

Comments

 * "inflorescences or tassels which" to "inflorescences, or tassels, which"? Also for "female inflorescences called ears"
 * I think these read correctly at the moment?


 * "modern varieties" Maybe "modern commercial varieties"? I know plenty of regional cultivars that still have multicolored kernels.
 * Done.


 * "in what is today Mexico" Bit redundant. you mentioned its cultivation in southern Mexico in the first para.
 * Fixed.


 * "that of wheat or rice" "and" instead of "or"?
 * Done.


 * "total world production" Having both "total" and "world" seems redundant.
 * Fixed.


 * "have each caused annual losses of a billion dollars" The sources this is cited to in the body are all US-specific, and I doubt they're considering global losses. The fact that these losses are for the US should be mentioned, both in the lead and body.
 * Done both.


 * "Mapuche people" to "The Mapuche people"
 * Done.


 * "Melinquina, Lácar Department," Mentioning Argentina would make it clearer where exactly this is.
 * Added.


 * "water — made with ashes and lime since at least 1200–1500 BC, the process of nixtamalization" I think there's a couple grammatical errors here.
 * Edited.


 * Link lysine.
 * Done.


 * "where people survive on donated maize" You just mentioned high lysine maize, so why do these people eating maize still have pellagra?
 * Not sure we need to say anything here; the donated (Western) maize is unlikely to be the high-lysine variety developed for poor folks to grow.


 * Shouldn't panizo and polenta be in lang templates?
 * Added.


 * Link inflorescence in the body.
 * Done.


 * "The female inflorescence...pollinated" Run-on sentence.
 * Split.


 * Maybe mention the required minimum growth days and the minimum length of the night?
 * Added.


 * "prone to be uprooted" to "prone to being uprooted"?
 * Done.


 * "a diploid" Diploid is not a noun.
 * Edited.


 * Remove the (n=10), it's meaningless for a lay reader and obvious to anyone who will understand it since you already mentioned diploid and 20 chromosomes.
 * Done.


 * Link allelic.
 * Done.


 * "Zeas" Maybe "Zea species" instead?
 * Done.


 * "most successful developing" to "most successful, developing"
 * Done.


 * Gloss mass selection in the text.
 * Added.


 * "ear to row selection" What does this imply?
 * Glossed.


 * Link double cross (I'm assuming it's referring to a dihybrid cross?).
 * Linked.


 * "leaf angle" Wow, that certainly wouldn't have been something I'd have thought of if you asked me about things that affect yields.
 * Quite.


 * "produce many ears which are the source" to "produce many ears; these are the source"?
 * Done.


 * CIMMYT is linked and second mention and the full form is never provided.
 * Fixed both issues.


 * "In 2018, Rashid" Who's this guy? Also for Dao and Sood in the previous sentence.
 * Glossed.


 * Full form for DMR, and DMR region is redundant.
 * Done.


 * "Grown since...in 2016" Second clause doesn't follow from the first.
 * Edited.


 * "it was subsequently withdrawn from the market" If it wasn't approved for human consumption, what was there to withdraw?
 * Edited.


 * "The maize genus...the BOP clade." Split this into two sentences, it's kind of confusing to read currently. Also, if the PACMAD and BOP clades are mentioned, they should also be briefly explained.
 * Glossed.


 * "and the later American" to "and later the American"
 * Edited.


 * The guys who domesticated wild teosinte must have been really hungry by the looks of it.
 * Mm, but it was still a lot bigger than, say, wheat or barley.


 * "Maize was...4,100 years ago." Bit Americentric, you don't mention the earliest cultivation in for example Brazil or Mexico.
 * Edited, it means 'first US cultivation was ...'.


 * "C4 carbon fixation" 4 should be a subscript. Also for C3 later on.
 * Fixated.


 * "in the polyculture system" to "in a polyculture system"
 * No, it means 'the p. system which is ...', this particular one.


 * "Maize provided...over the soil" Should be either two semicolons or two commas.
 * Done.


 * "are a sufficient form for some livestock feeding uses" to "are sufficient for some livestock feeding uses"?
 * Edited.


 * "Maize (pink strip)...crops" Needs cite in the caption.
 * Added.


 * "it was not bioavailable" to "it is not bioavailable"
 * Done.


 * "nixtamal, cornmeal treated with limewater)" This gloss is at like the fifth mention.
 * Removed, it's indeed already glossed above.


 * "in the South" Clarify that it's the Southern US
 * Done.


 * "right table" What's this mean?
 * Removed.


 * "A biomass gasification...in 2005." Is a single plant really worth mentioning? Was it the first in the world or something?
 * It was certainly the first in Austria, if not in Europe.


 * If you want to have a Culture section, I'd focus almost entirely on the Mesoamerican deification and add more detail about that. Corn doesn't really have a cultural aspect in modern times, and stuff like some random Broadway musical really isn't worth mentioning in the article imo.
 * Removed the musical. I think the other mentions are reasonably respectable.


 * Is the Nat Geo ref really useful? There's already a better ref citing what it says.
 * Gone.


 * Link for ref 84 is broken.
 * Archived.