Talk:Max Pirkis/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 03:45, 20 August 2012 (UTC)


 * I'll take this — Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2012 (UTC)

Comments

 * 1
 * "where he read Theology," - Read or studied?
 * I was under the impression that they meant the same thing in AmE and BrE, "read" being the BrE term. Correct me if I'm wrong though!


 * "Midshipman" - big m or small m?
 * I've changed it to small m.


 * Couple of these quotes could be paraphrased. ""didn't know what to expect. But I soon realised he was a pretty normal guy." for example
 * I shortened/paraphrased that quote, but think the others are OK


 * "Pirkis thought about the death of a family friend and completed it in two takes." - Perhaps clarify that he completed the scene in two takes and not the thoughts
 * I've reworded this one. Let me know if my changes were what you intended.


 * placed into a bank - a bank or a trust fund?
 * This interview says a bank and this one simply says his earnings were "locked away".


 * 4th Phoenix Film Critics Society Awards. - Perhaps note its origin
 * I'm not sure what you mean here - should I mention who awards the prizes?


 * Tom Shales' quote could be trimmed / paraphrased a bit
 * I've trimmed it


 * In BrE is it "second season" or "second series"?
 * I changed to "second series".

As of this revision:
 * Spotchecks
 * FN2
 * Should be archived
 * A Fine
 * B Fine
 * C Fine
 * D Fine
 * FN5
 * A Fine
 * B Fails verification. Doesn't say anything about "not sure what to do with his life"
 * I added a different citation (I think a few sentences got jumbled while I was improving the article... oops)


 * C Fine
 * D Fine
 * FN9
 * A Fine
 * B Fine
 * FN22
 * A Fine

Further discussion

 * Holding for one week, mostly prose issues. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:25, 20 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review! I have made the appropriate fixes or replied above.  Ruby  2010/  2013  00:30, 21 August 2012 (UTC)


 * Alright, looks good. Passing. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:43, 21 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Thanks again, Crisco.  Ruby  2010/  2013  03:04, 21 August 2012 (UTC)