Talk:Obesity and fertility

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 29 June 2020 and 21 August 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): D Dickinson SF, Pilaoucsf, MAUCSF.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 01:46, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Foundations II 2020 Group 14 Proposed Edits
Move epidemiology section to the top of the Wiki page, and expand epidemiology to include men, obesity statistics (particularly among women who are child-bearing age), and risk factors. (PI)

Make "Women" heading less technical. (DD)

Create a "Genetic Causes & Hormonal Disorders Section" that expands on the sentence in the introduction. (MA/KJ)

Find non-primary sources to replace primary sources.

MAUCSF (talk) 20:40, 28 July 2020 (UTC)

Add more details to "Men"

Add more details to PCOS (statistics, pathophysiology, etc)

Add more details to management

K. Jung, UCSF Pharm.D. Candidate 2022 (talk) 17:54, 4 August 2020 (UTC)

Group 13 Peer Review
The group's edits did improve the article as they added in more information regarding factors that may increase risk of obesity, expanded the women's section, and added a stigma section. It seems the group has partially achieved its overall goals. The heading for the women's section is cohesive, but there is still technical language that could be further defined and simplified. We did not see a "Genetic Causes & Hormonal Disorders" section.
 * Do the group's edits substantially improve the article as described in the Wikipedia peer review "Guiding framework"?
 * Has the group achieved its overall goals for improvement?

S. Xue, Future UCSF PharmD (talk) 20:48, 3 August 2020 (UTC) Vincent.Vu2 (talk) 20:56, 3 August 2020 (UTC) Ntran49 (talk) 21:08, 3 August 2020 (UTC) Ayangucsf (talk) 21:26, 3 August 2020 (UTC)

This article reflects a neutral point view. Most paragraphs do not lean towards any specific opinions. All the statements are factual and unbiased. I suggest to expand more information on the Men section. Vincent.Vu2 (talk) 20:56, 3 August 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) Does the draft submission reflect a neutral point of view? If not, specify...

Based on the sources provided from the article, most of the sources are easily accessed. However, some sources ( for example, article from New York times - citation #19, citation # 18) are not open sources. We were not able to access it without either permission or having an account. Otherwise, the other sources look accurate and available. Ntran49 (talk) 21:08, 3 August 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) Are the points included verifiable with cited secondary sources that are freely available?

Ayangucsf (talk) 21:26, 3 August 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) Are the edits formatted consistent with Wikipedia’s manual of style? If not, specify…
 * 2) Article title has scientific name - the subheadings are all scientific terms (for example:Polycystic ovarian syndrome)
 * 3) Lay language was used appropriately when possible, but scientific terms could be defined more or hyperlinked to other articles.
 * 4) The article addressed common sections but could be organized more similarly to "Wikipedia's Medicine Related Articles - Manual of Style"
 * 5) Overall, most sources are from reliable Endocrinology or Reproduction journals but could incorporate more secondary sources.
 * 6) Article does a good job avoiding trivia sections, it was pretty pertinent to the topic at hand. There were no "external link farms" aka excessive linking to other non-relevant articles.

There was no significant plagiarism or copyright violation. After copy and pasting sections of the article into Google search, we found that none of the sections were plagiarized. The group effectively used sources without copying text word-for-word and paraphrased well. However, the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome section could be reviewed since the text is written with a similar style to the cited source (this section was added before the start of this project). S. Xue, Future UCSF PharmD (talk) 21:39, 3 August 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) Is there any evidence of plagiarism or copyright violation? If yes, specify...