Talk:Paris Agreement/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 19:56, 10 July 2021 (UTC)

Happy to review the article.

Non reviewer comment
I was thinking of reviewing this if no one had taken it by the time the nominator had returned from her wiki break later in July. IMO it's already beyond GA class in several respects, but there were some minor non compliances, IMO. In such circumstances, I normally make all needed improvements myself. This might have consumed a lot of time in this case, as Id probably have edited a lot more than is needed for GA status, per the topic's importance. So great to see someone else has stepped up to take this on.

Ive just made a few edits based on minor issues I spotted from my initial skim read when I noticed the nomination. (there may be a few more it needs for GA class.) If anyone doesnt think they are improvements, no worries about reverting. I wont further participate as would hate to think any differences of perspective I might have could cause the article to fail the stability criteria. FeydHuxtable (talk) 13:46, 11 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Thanks! Note that the stability criterion of GA is weak: no edit warring.
 * There is a consensus that 'climate skeptic' is a euphemism and shouldn't be used. Given the geographic concentration of climate denial, I wonder if the sentence gives an American POV. Don't have access yet to the book. FemkeMilene (talk) 16:03, 11 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I've not been able to get access to the full book via my university library, Google Books, CUP or libgen., I think it's important to have a conservative opinion cited, but given the climate denial angle and avoiding false balance of opinions far removed from the facts, I would need access to a high-quality source like the one you cited to write a fair statement. Could you reword or send me a few pages via email? FemkeMilene (talk) 20:39, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
 * You're welcome. I only had the physical book,  so I posted it to your Laver building address, as thats easier for me than takeing & emailing pics.  I reworded to remove the mention of "skeptics"  (it seemed a bit of a stretch to simply change sceptic > denialist, though perhaps you consider the source supports that if you expand the cite to be p 192 – 200. )
 * On the US centric thing, while US did used to be sceptic central, IMO from about 2016-18  the total anti Paris sentiment from RoW combined outweighted that from the US.  Especially from Fossil fuel lobbies in Aus, Canada, Russia & Brazil. Source for President Bolsonaro running on ticket where he promised to withdraw from Paris. FeydHuxtable (talk) 12:46, 14 July 2021 (UTC)
 * That is incredibly kind! I've got a confirmation it has arrived, and by coincidence I was planning to go into campus for the first time in 9 months this week. When sources say sceptic, it's always a bit of a jumble to see what to replace it with, as that word is not always a euphemism for climate denier (and the word climate denier can confusingly be used to describe people misleading the public about solutions, rather than the physics of climate change). It may simply mean conservative. Similarly with the word activists, which may mean progressives in some contexts.. FemkeMilene (talk) 13:38, 15 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I've got the books now! They are a great resource. I think you fell into the common trap of attributing the words of unclear people/analysts to activists, which is frequently done by news organisations. The text doesn't mention activists, and attributing it to them gives the impression that it is a more niche point of view than it actually is. I do see why you struggled, given the vagueness of the text. I'll have another think of how to rework this. FemkeMilene (talk) 07:15, 22 July 2021 (UTC)

Summary

 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:35, 13 July 2021 (UTC)

Points that apply to the article in more than one section

 * Unlink all countries (MOS:OL).
 * All major countries unlinked. FemkeMilene (talk) 19:43, 15 July 2021 (UTC)
 * While should only be used when emphasising that two events occur at the same time, or when emphasising contrast. It shouldn't be used as an additive link.
 * Done
 * Using with as an additive link has led to wordy and awkward prose in some cases.
 * Done
 * Avoid vague words (I found various, many, several).
 * I've removed some, but in broad articles these cannot be avoided altogether in my opinion. I'll double-check if these qualitative statements are from sources, or whether they represent vagueness introduced by editors.
 * Looking at some of the sources, I would try to reduce the number of vague words still further (e.g. several). I'm unclear why you think this article is in some way 'broad'. Amitchell125 (talk) 12:30, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I have gotten more info from the sources, reducing it further. I think the few remaining cases are defensible. FemkeMilene (talk) 12:56, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Amend within as it has a different meaning to "in".
 * Didn't quite understand this, but all withins are gone.
 * Look out for captions with full stops (that shouldn’t have) – MOS:CAPFRAG.
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 19:43, 15 July 2021 (UTC)
 * There is a mixture of different tenses, which need to be checked. MOS:TENSE may be of help here, which states "By default, write articles in the present tense", and "Generally, do not use past tense except for past events".
 * I think this is fixed now, can't find any improper tenses with a cntr F for "ed ". FemkeMilene (talk) 12:56, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Look out for redundant text (in brackets below), the article would be improved if it was found and removed. I've covered up to and including 3.4:
 * Lead - (representatives of) 196 state parties((adverse) effects; (previously) set targets
 * Development - (round of) negotiations; (what would become) the; (with the aim) to; (by consensus) by all; (together) represented
 * Parties - (are the only other countries which) have; Article 28 (of the agreement); (in the world); (formal) notice (of withdrawal)
 * Content - (its) Article 2
 * I've removed most of the examples above, and have made a start in other parts of the article. Immediate boost to prose quality :).
 * Finished this. FemkeMilene (talk) 12:56, 24 July 2021 (UTC)

Lead section

 * forcing countries – do we know how many?
 * At least two, but these legal texts are difficult and it's changing constantly. Have added a second example, but I don't understand the legal basis of the recent verdict in France, which English-speaking newspapers are rather vague on. I could try to delve into the French newspapers, I don't think that's necessary for the GA criteria. FemkeMilene (talk) 08:24, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Understood. AM


 * Not in the main text – The agreement was negotiated by representatives of 196 state parties.
 * corrected: 195 state parties + EU in body, summarised as 195 parties in lede. FemkeMilene (talk) 08:24, 24 July 2021 (UTC)

More comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 22:06, 13 July 2021 (UTC)

1 Development

 * Link greenhouse gas; mitigation.
 * Done
 * there were fears – do we know who was fearful? Do these fears still exist?
 * 'observers' were fearful. As everybody has signed, this is not relevant anymore.. Not sure how to improve text. FemkeMilene (talk) 14:44, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Sentence tweaked, please revert if you want. Amitchell125 (talk) 06:24, 25 July 2021 (UTC)


 * almost 40% - do we have a number?
 * cited sources don't give more precision and I don't think it's warranted, given that this percentage depends on the method of calculating.
 * Understood. AM


 * Amend a joint statement confirming that both countries to ‘confirmed they’.
 * Done
 * The last paragraph of section 1.3 could be improved by reducing its size, which retaining the meaning.
 * Not sure how
 * Had a go and I agree it's not worth the effort. AM


 * Consider linking reduce their carbon output (Low-carbon economy).
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 14:44, 24 July 2021 (UTC)

2 Parties

 * Iraq is planning to ratify – I would add ‘as of June 2021'.
 * .. Sourcing is confused here. Sources from last few weeks indicate (as a side-note) that they've already ratified / acceded / approved (not clear which), but the UN website says they haven't.. Let me do this at the last moment, hoping that better sourcing is available then. FemkeMilene (talk) 18:06, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
 * ❌ Not yet sorted


 * Left-aligned images should not be placed at the start of subsections.
 * Changed. What is the reasoning here? Can't find it in the labyrinth of the MOS. FemkeMilene (talk) 11:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Mmmm, interesting. I got it from User:Ealdgyth/GA review cheatsheet, see also MOS:IMAGELOCATION. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:30, 20 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Amend sending a withdrawal notification to to ‘notifying’.
 * Done something similar. FemkeMilene (talk) 18:06, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Introduce Joe Biden (as has been done with Obama).
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 18:06, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
 * intends to withdraw – ‘intended to withdraw’.
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 18:06, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I would delete the first paragraph’s last sentence, it seems surplus to requirements.
 * Which sentence is that? I've shortened the last sentence of 'United States withdrawal and readmittance'. FemkeMilene (talk) 18:06, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Apologies for not being clearer, what you've done looks fine. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:36, 20 July 2021 (UTC)

3 Content

 * It looks as if the last sentence in 3.1 needs to be cited.
 * Done
 * Dup links – UNFCCC; Kyoto Protocol.
 * Done (I think that MOS detail should be amended to give flexibility for citing once per section on long articles)
 * I agree. AM


 * Remove set in stone as it is an idiom.
 * Done
 * The contributions each country should make – I think the nature of the contributions mentioned should be specified here.
 * I hope this is clear from changing the 'aims'. It's basically any contribution that contributes to the goal and countries have a lot of freedom to do this however they want. FemkeMilene (talk) 16:59, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Link name and shame (without quotes); Annex-1 (List of parties to the Kyoto Protocol).
 * Done
 * Reporting is called the "Enhanced Transparency Framework (ETF)" needs copy editing.
 * Done
 * the worldwide goal – is this referring to the general aims of the agreement stated in the previous section, or another as yet unspecified goal?
 * General aims. Amended. FemkeMilene (talk) 11:56, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * ' 'Some of the pledges…'' the sentence needs to be copy edited to improve the prose.
 * I removed typos. Further copy-editing necessary?
 * No, it's now fine. AM


 * While the NDCs themselves are not binding, the procedures surrounding them are (setting a more ambitious NDC every five years). is a confusing sentence.
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 14:49, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * There is no mechanism to force a country to set a target in their NDC by a specific date and no enforcement if a set target in an NDC is not met. - ‘No mechanisms have been set in place to force countries to meet their NDC targets on time’?
 * Amended. Proposed amendment changed meaning. FemkeMilene (talk) 11:56, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * 2 degrees Celsius - 2 °C
 * Done, except the quote. FemkeMilene (talk) 11:56, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "top down" – shouldn’t bottom up be in quotes as well?
 * Done
 * own action plans (NDCs) has already been explained, so amend to ‘NDCs’.
 * Done
 * "executive agreement rather than a treaty" requires a citation.
 * Cited in FN66, which comes directly after the next sentence. FemkeMilene (talk) 11:56, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Understood. AM

4 Mitigation provisions and carbon markets

 * is the last part of the Agreement that needs to be ironed out – just checking, but this still true? Also ironed out is too informal.
 * Still true, more news November. Changed to resolved.
 * Dup link - cooperative approaches.
 * Unlinked.
 * the rights of Parties – ‘the rights of the parties’?
 * The previous sound better, I have decapitalised parties.
 * of their own jurisdiction toward their NDC – I got rather lost here. Could it be made a little clearer?
 * I've changed jurisdiction to borders. Does that make it clear?
 * Now clearer. AM


 * I would explain Annex-1.
 * Done in the first instance it's mentioned.
 * No italics for Sustainable Development Mechanism or SDM.
 * Done.


 * There is a [failed verification] tag in this section that needs attention.
 * Resolved. FemkeMilene (talk) 07:34, 24 July 2021 (UTC)

5 Adaptation provisions

 * garnered more focus - more than when?
 * Added comparison. FemkeMilene (talk) 10:46, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Link G7 countries.
 * Done
 * just 16 percent – why just?
 * Removed and added comparison. FemkeMilene (talk) 10:46, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The text in the image is better placed in the caption. I can amend the image to remove the text at the top if you want me to.
 * That would be great! FemkeMilene (talk) 10:46, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Done. Amitchell125 (talk) 14:19, 23 July 2021 (UTC)

6 Loss and damage

 * Dup link - Least Developed Countries.
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 15:53, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
 * many of the worst effects of climate change – is too vague, can the worst effects not be described in some way here?
 * FemkeMilene (talk) 15:53, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
 * can take various forms – should be more specific if this is at all possible.
 * Condensed sentence to remove altogether. FemkeMilene (talk) 15:53, 23 July 2021 (UTC)

8 Implementation and effectiveness

 * Dup link – transferred.
 * This project is currently under discussion at the United Nations - (see MOS:RELTIME for why) currently should be avoided.
 * Removed sentence. FemkeMilene (talk) 20:21, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Overall energy efficiency needs to be raised …; Fossil fuel burning needs to be cut back …; implementation needs more effort ... Says who? Ditto more expensive future mitigation would be needed …; all countries would need to ….
 * Reworded a bit to come across as less prescriptive and removed paragraph with "all countries .." as duplicative. These are uncontroversial statements within the discipline, so attributing would state facts as opinion. FemkeMilene (talk) 17:50, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I see what you've done, but I'm still unsure about need/needs/needed, it makes the text sound almost editorial, even though it clearly isn't. Difficult to explain, it may not be as important as it appears to me to be. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:08, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Chidgk1 has made further improvements on this front. FemkeMilene (talk) 07:40, 24 July 2021 (UTC)


 * in the building sector, transport and heating - ‘in the building, transport and heating sectors’?
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 17:50, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * various barriers – ‘barriers’?
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 17:50, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Unlink government (common word).
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 20:21, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * States – ‘states’.
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 20:21, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Link probabilistic (Probability theory).
 * Done
 * still significantly exceed – needs to be more precise (or remove significant).
 * Done
 * is under debate – a precise date is preferred here (MOS:RELTIME again).
 * Disagree. This is not going to change for a while, and a date would give undue precision. FemkeMilene (talk) 20:21, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Understood. AM


 * keeping global temperatures under 1.5 °C – sounds a bit on the cold side to me.
 * Done
 * these pledges: - there needs to be a semi-colon here, not a colon.
 * Done
 * upper target of Paris Agreement - ‘upper target of the Paris Agreement’.
 * Done
 * In 2021, a study … - the paragraph is one long sentence, which needs to be broken up to help make it more readable.
 * Done. FemkeMilene (talk) 21:14, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I would amend there is little scientific literature on the topics of the effectiveness of the Paris Agreement on capacity building and adaptation to ‘little scientific literature on the topics of the effectiveness of the Paris Agreement on capacity building and adaptation has been produced’.
 * I prefer the former. FemkeMilene (talk) 17:50, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Understood. AM

9 International response

 * Link climate activist (Individual and political action on climate change).
 * There has been consensus to merge that article into oblivion for a while now. I'll review that sentence with the book I now have. FemkeMilene (talk) 20:33, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
 * agreement or Agreement? (I would go for the latter).
 * Went for the latter. Not sure myself. FemkeMilene (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "Even if we meet every target ... we will only get to part of where we need to go." needs a direct citation.
 * It's in the WH source. Not sure whether it's appropriate to quote Obama so extensively from a primary source, will see what I can do to keep the flow.
 * I meant that the WH source needs to be cited straight after the quote (even though it appears later on in the paragraph. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:49, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Rm primary source, duplicated the news source, rm the things the secondary source didn't mention. FemkeMilene (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * from the opposite perspective looks redundant.
 * Rewrote whole sentence. FemkeMilene (talk) 08:01, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "spirit of Paris" – is this Bennett’s phrase (if so he needs to be mentioned in the text), or just something devised by The Guardian?
 * He's too small a player to be mentioned in the text. The Guardian is typically accurate with quoting, so we can assume it's something he said. Can you point to guidelines saying we should mention all individuals quoted? I think I remember seeing this practice in FAs.
 * Best left, as i think you're right. AM


 * no action, just promises – quotation marks are needed here.
 * Done

10 Litigation

 * In a first-of-its-kind case needs copy editing to something like ‘In a case that was the first of its kind’.
 * that the company - ‘that it’ sounds better.
 * as it too was - ‘as it was’,
 * All done. FemkeMilene (talk) 20:59, 20 July 2021 (UTC)

Criteria 4

 * (lead) The Agreement was lauded by various world leaders, but criticised as insufficiently binding by others. Was there a particular prominence for lauding or for criticizing?
 * I don't quite understand your question. What do you mean by prominence? FemkeMilene (talk) 21:01, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
 * The article doesn't really make it clear what proportion of world leaders lauded the Agreement, and how many didn't. If a large majority thought it was laudable in comparison to those who were more critical, this should be stated (and cited) in the text. Apologies for not being clear, hopefully I've helped clarify the point. Amitchell125 (talk) 21:56, 13 July 2021 (UTC)


 * (1.1) after Copenhagen's failure – was it a complete failure? It would help if the nature of the failure was specified.
 * The nature of the failure is specified in the preceding paragraph: not universal and not binding. I will specify more explicitly that the Paris Agreement did not fail in those two respects. FemkeMilene (talk) 16:13, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Looking again, it's not too bad as it looks. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:01, 25 July 2021 (UTC)

On hold
I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 28 July to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. many thanks for all the work you've done so far. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 20:29, 20 July 2021 (UTC)


 * It looks like you have almost finished but if you need any help let me know. Chidgk1 (talk) 06:30, 22 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the offer. I might need some help a DYK. There are two facts that aren't yet in the article, that would be very interesting. One is the negotiations almost failed because of a single word (shall instead of should), and the second one is that they do the negotiations through the night on purpose, as sleepy people are more willing to compromise. I've not been able to find a source for the latter, but I remember reading it in a scientific paper. If you could find something similar, that would really be appreciated. FemkeMilene (talk) 07:10, 22 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Cannot find the sleep thing but added Noah as a possible DYK - suspect single word thing best DYK though. Chidgk1 (talk) 12:21, 22 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks! I've removed the Noah bit, as I don't think that blog met the requirements for RS, and it may have been too much trivia. I hope you don't mind. FemkeMilene (talk) 14:52, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I suspect you are anti-Noah because he boarded the animals alphabetically. Chidgk1 (talk) 15:00, 24 July 2021 (UTC)
 * @Amitchell125: I think I've addressed everything, including the comment by CMD on my talk page. Thanks for such a detailed review, which has really raised the quality of the article. I'd like to apologise for not preparing a bit better, saving you some time reviewing. FemkeMilene (talk) 14:54, 24 July 2021 (UTC)

Passing
All sorted, thanks for all your efforts with the article. Now passing. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:02, 25 July 2021 (UTC)