Talk:Pelé/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: ComputerJA (talk · contribs) 09:12, 1 June 2017 (UTC)

'''Revisions must be completed by July 28, 2017. Please reach out to me if you have any questions.''' @ - Thank you for the recent fixes. I thing the formatting of some of them are incorrect. I'll go ahead and fix them myself so you can see what I'm talking about (specifically the language option, which doesn't go in front). No big deal, really. Other than that, I guess you can work on the Honours section comment I made below. Cheers, MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 21:18, 17 July 2017 (UTC)

Review
Hi, I will take this article. This is the longest article I've ever reviewed, so it will take me several days to go through it. My first part of the review will consist of going over the article's prose, layout, grammar, and general improvements. My second part will consist of analyzing how sources are cited, if sources are reliable, and if sources support the text. Below are a few general comments. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 09:12, 1 June 2017 (UTC)

* There are several sources in the infobox, and those need to be removed per WP:INFOBOXREF. Make sure that if you remove them, the information is still cited elsewhere. * As a general rule, sources are discouraged in the introduction paragraphs since they can add up pretty quickly. The introduction looks cleaner without them — not to mention that it is way easier to summarize the article correctly this way (see WP:LEADCITE).
 * The quote in Early life is way too big. It has a lot of interesting details about his activities as a boy, so I think paraphrasing that and adding it in the paragraphs is probably better (the quote in Club career section is perfect).
 * The Honours sections has a lot of unsourced lines. I also think it might be a little bit long. Using this article as an example can help. (BTW – I'm aware that Messi's article has the honours the same way this article does, but I think that section needs a major clean-up too).
 * Career statistics section has unsourced paragraphs.
 * Make sure all the statistics boxes and the info in them have references. You might have to let me know where I have to click to make sure all the goals/stats are.
 * A lot of the references are incomplete (lack dates of publication, author, publisher/work, book pages, or are in different language but don't have the appropriate template. I can help in all of this, just let me know if you need help. This will be taken care of in Part 2 of my review.
 * As you tackle each issue, please strike my comments so I can read them easily, thanks!
 * Once the concerns above have been addressed, I will take a look at the introduction, the Early life section (since I think the info on the quote should be paraphrased into the text, the infobox, categories, etc.

Part 1
* – The team should not be italicized. Consider linking Corinthians Santo Andre
 * Santos

* – This seems a little bit out of place. His record should probably be mentioned in the intro (of course), and his legacy or probably at the end of his career. I would simply put “scoring the first goal of his prolific career” or something like that.

* – Is the season this one? If so, please link using the format above.

* – link Government of Brazil

* – link “Santos in 1959” using

*– When? I would also rephrase to “The following season, Pelé scored 47 goals and helped Santos retain …”

* - I’m assuming 1961? Make sure It is clear in the previous sentence.

* – I would quantify it to 9 since that is how the other goals are written.

*– Santo’s most successful Copa Libertadores season started in 1962. I had to check if you meant the national league or Libertadores.

* – link Bolivia’s club team using this

* – versus

* – the first goal against Cerro? It was Dorval.

* - Santos defeated Universidad Católica in the semifinals and met defending champions Peñarol in the finals. Pelé scored twice in the playoff match to secure the first title for a Brazilian club.

* – Lisbon

* – I would put “The ballet blanco, the nickname given to Santos for …, managed to retain""

* – Wow, this is an extremely difficult and rare feat. Only a few international teams have been able to defeat Boca there in official competitions. This isn't a suggestion, but I still added that.

* – link Flamengo

* – one goal

* – do you know against what teams?

* – I would just keep it ‘Pele” and fix it to “were not”

* – The club did, however, win …

* – remove link of the team and stadium per WP:OVERLINK

* – ditto for the cup

* – I would spell out the name of the team since I confused it with Italy’s. The title of the article should be fine.

* – link to

* - 1975 North American Soccer League season
 * New York Cosmos

* – was

* – I would rephrase to “Santos arrived in New York after previously defeating the Seattle Sounders in New Jersey”

* – Wide World of Sports (U.S. TV series)

* – remove link of stadium per WP:OVERLINK
 * International career

* – same from Brazil.

* – closed ranks is an idiom (which I had to look up since I had no idea what it meant). I would say change it to a more encyclopedic phrase.

* – was

* – comma after date

* – in Stockholm, the capital.

* – How recent? Please state the year/date per WP:RECENTICISM When isn't needed.

* – the organizers of the World Cup?

* – According to whom? I would also add 1962 World Cup in this sentence somewhere and remove the link in the following one. Implied based on his statistic, but no one said.

* – was this in the following game? Make sure to state that because it jumped from Mexico to this unexpectedly.

* – In Santiago or In Santiago, the capital.

* - Pelé was called to the national team in early 1969, but he initially refused. He later accepted and played …
 * 1966 World Cup

* – was expected to be Pele’s last World Cup.
 * 1970 World Cup

* – We already know it was in Guadalajara (since it is stated before), so no need to have that part.

* – link to the Peru national football team

* – I would link Mexico City cus why not

* – remove link per WP:OVERLINK

* – would you be able to add a source with his stature (include both m and ft)
 * Style of play

Reception and legacy * – this is already mentioned above in the other section. This definitely belongs here more than in the other one.

* – I’m wondering if this guy’s view on Pelé should be included. I couldn’t find a Wikipedia article about him or a lot of reliable sources to establish notability on who he is. Seems like guys in his position come and go with changes in government, so I would say he is not important in the football world to be commenting on this and be included (Mandela is Mandela, however).

* – The phrasing of this sentence is a bit awkward, please rephrase. If you need help let me know.

They are kids of that woman.
 * Personal life
 * – are these from his affair with the housemaid?

* – when did they marry? It’s better to put “Pelé married Marcia Aok on ____. The whole illness thing and her “standing next to him” is unencyclopedic. I would mention what illness Pelé got as you did earlier with the kidney problems. Just removed it.

* – when? What conservative views? Since he was suspected of sympathizing with the left in the previous sentence, this comes across as contradictory. Is this because of the public demonstrations? If so, it should go after that mention.

* – Too many links for a single claim. One or two should be enough.

* – When?

* – Was he appointed by Cardoso to both positions, or only the first one? I could not access the source since it is dead.
 * After football

* – Could not find this in either of the two sources.

* – Can you expand on the corruption scandal a bit more? He was accused of stealing charity money (specify the amount and any other details you think are important).

* – link the final

* – When?

* – link the tournament.

* – Somewhat of a fragment. The sentence is long, and I was somewhat confused when I saw Stallone there after the footballers mention. I should make it two separate sentences.

* – link Apollo missions using List of Apollo missions

* – link city

* – add period after sentence

* – unlink Santos per WP:OVERLINK. Also, who reported this?

* – comma after year.

*seeking $30 million – US$30 million * – alleged

* – included

* – who are the others worth mentioning?
 * Career statistics

* – Which? Are they notable?
 * Best I can tell, Nope.

* – for example → like

* – Brazilian Armed Forces?

* – he scored

* – he also scored

* – and 1284

Part 2
There are serious issues with the format of the sources. Almost all of them are missing dates of publication, authors, publishers, have incomplete publisher names, lack language formats, pages, ISBNs, and/or do not follow the standard citing format. For newspapers, please go to Template:Cite news to follow the write format. I think the best way to cite is source is to click the "Edit source" tab and then click the "Cite" button, which will pull up a fill-in template to put the information. For books, I would recommend to add a separate section for them, similar to this Good Article. One will need to cite the pages only, like this. For Footnotes, please add something like this. Let me know if you have any questions. I'm already done with Part 1, but it is on my work laptop and I went out of town, so I decided to do this first on my personal laptop. ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 20:14, 6 June 2017 (UTC)

Forgot to mention: I think it is better to spell out the full publisher instead of writing the website (i.e. "The Guardian" instead of "theguardian.com"). ComputerJA ( ☎  •  ✎  ) 20:17, 6 June 2017 (UTC)

* – Missing publication date.

* – Missing publication date.

* - Full format needed.

* – Missing publication date.

* – Missing publication date. And also seems to be out of place. It does not lead to any text.

* – Missing publication and publisher, the International Confederation of Futebol de Salão.

* – page?


 * – per WP:CITEVIDEO, we need to know roughly when in the documentary is this info cited.


 * – Missing publication date (which based on the URL I believe it is 2008) and author (journalist is mentioned at the very bottom).

* – Remove Article by

* – Same here.


 * – page needed.

* – This is an unreliable source. It is a mirror page to Wikipedia.


 * – Page needed, and his surname should go first like in previous formats.

* – Encyclopedia.com may not be a reliable source, and it has been proven to use content from Answers.com and HighBeam. I would say it is a very weak RS and should be changed. Let me know.

* – Surname goes first.

* – Publication date needed. The publisher also seems to be Folha Online, correct?

* – I will make a special leyway for this source since I know how incredibly difficult it is get data like this. I am not entirely sure if this is reliable, but at least we know who the authors and collaborator were. Please add them, they are at the very bottom.

* – Same here.

* – Publication date needed.

* – same here

* – Authors at the bottom.

* – Publication date needed

* – add author and publication date.

* – please add authors from the bottom. In addition, please archive using this format.

* – add publishing date, this is different than retrieved date.

* – Seems like an unreliable source and/or a source more suitable for travel.
 * It's fine.

* – ISBN needed

* – ISBN needed.

* – Publication date is needed, 2007

* – This is a dead URL. Please go to archive.org and see if it is there or find a suitable replacement.

* – Fixing the Portuguese template with | language=Portuguese ; also, please add the publisher and publication date, 2006.

* – source? Also, this is a footnote, please create an appropriate section for that.

* – author

* – publishing date.

* – this link is already used in The King of Football source.

* – fix language template. I also think the URL is dead (I was not able to open it). Please replace it. It also needs a publisher and should not have “consulted” since that is not a format we use.

* – Already used before.

* – dead URL and wrong language format. Also, no publisher.

* – author needed.

* – author needed


 * – better source needed. Since the person who uploaded is not a credible publisher, we need something that is per WP:CITEVIDEO.

* – last name goes first, and the date is actually 2 June 2006

* – doesn’t seem like a reliable source as the credibly of the publisher is not established.


 * – Definitely not a reliable source.

* – author and publishing date.

* – Daily Mail is not a reliable source, according to established consensus. - Removed it and the quote

* – Goals in International Matches". Rec.Sport.Soccer Statistics Foundation. Retrieved 1 May 2011. – surname first.

* – publishing date.

* – date and author

* – date

* – source says nothing about what the text says.

* – author and dates.

* – author and date.


 * – no mention of the claims in the source.


 * – publisher and author.


 * – authors, page.

* – date: 2009. Also, would you be able to replace it with this? The source is open but no info is visible. Please add the author too it as well.

* – date

* – date and author

* – Daily Mail not reliable.

* – date and author

* – just the surname in front.

* – same thing here.

* – same thing here.

* – same thing here.

* – same thing here.

* . – same thing here.

* . – same thing here.

* . – same thing here.

* – same thing here.

* – same thing here.


 * – author and date (last updated)

* – source already used before. Please use the old ones for this.
 * I used this source when combining duplicates.

* – date

* – date

* – needs exact speech date as publishing date.

* – Already used before.

* – uol.com.br doesn’t tell me much. What is the full publisher’s name? Make sure to do this for all sources too if you can. This one was just not obvious.

* – does not seem reliable and URL is dead.

* – date

* – date

* – date

* – add the Portuguese template and spell out the full name of the publisher.

* – date

* – date

* – Portuguese template and spell out publisher

* – Portuguese template

* – date and language template

* – date, full publisher name, and language template

* – date, full publisher name, author, and language template

* – date, full publisher name, and language template

* – date

* – date; remember that retrieved date is not the same as publishing date, even though the dates might match sometimes like in this case.

* – author and date


 * – publisher; source is also dead, please find replacement.

* – date is actually 23 November 2001


 * – is there another page? If not, please remove the dash.

* – page

* – date, full publisher name

* – source leads no where. Also, please add full date. -Full date not given.

* – date

* – press release not needed

* – Daily Mail is an unreliable source.


 * – this violates WP:BLPPRIMARY

* – Author

* – Author

* – Author

* – Author

* -  Publisher, and no mention of Pelé in source.
 * I saw some mention of pele.

* – source needed. Also, please create a Footnote section for this so they can be redirected accordingly. Let me know if you need help.

* – Same, read above.

* – publisher and Portuguese template needed.

* – date needed. Publisher seems to be wrong.

* – author.

* – date

* – French template and date.

* – source already used.

* – publisher

* – publisher

* – date and avoid SHOUTING in titles.

* – surname should go first. ISBN also needed.

* – date

* – author and date

* – author, date, and publisher

* – date, author, publisher, and correct archive format needed.

* – dead URL and possibly unreliable source.

* - date, author, publisher. No SHOUTING in titles.

* – No mention of Pele, and source is incomplete and in caps.

* . – duplicate source.

* – surname first.

* – ISBN needed.

* – French template needed.

* – date

* – date

* – date

* – this is not a citable format. Please add a reliable source.

* – date, publisher, and author.

* . – date, author

* – date.

* – format is messed up. Author and date also needed.

* – Find another reliable source for a replacement of Daily Mail.

* – duplicate source.


 * – looking at this tells me nothing about the source. Please make a complete one and spell out the publisher. Source seems unreliable.

*  - please fix this whole thing.

* – Add as footnote and do not put external links. Cite it using the right format.

* – write in English, add as footnote, and cite the source correctly.

* – author and date of publication

* – author and date of publication

* – author and date of publication

* - write in English, add as footnote, and cite the source correctly.

* – duplicate source.

* – dead URL.

* – Surname first. Also, before you used a source for Planet World Cup, but wrote it Planetworldcup.com. Please use Planet World Cup instead and be consistent throughout the article.

* – duplicate source

* – dead URL.

* - author and date of update.


 * – author, date, publisher, Portuguese template, and page.
 * None of which were given by the publisher.

* – Portuguese template.

Final issues
I did several copyedits in the introduction for better flow, and finally made all the final touches. I'm posting the final issues that were not taken care of the first time or that came up later. BTW, thank you for putting up with me throughout this ardious and long GA process. I figured that instead of failing it, I could help you with the fixes and work together. These are the FINAL issues (I promise). We're close to getting this done. I'll leave it open until next Friday (1 week is the standard). MX ( ✉  •  ✎  ) 06:25, 21 July 2017 (UTC)

* – page needed. Or let me know which one it is and I'll add it with the appropriate book page format. * – Page needed. Or let me know which one it is and I'll add it with the appropriate book page format. * – better source needed. Since the person who uploaded is not a credible publisher, we need something that is per WP:CITEVIDEO. * – Definitely not a reliable source. * – no mention of the claims in the source. * – Pelé. Retrieved 5 May 2011. – publisher; source is also dead, please find replacement. * – is there another page besides 110? If so, let me know. * – this violates WP:BLPPRIMARY * - Tags I requested, see here. * - Tags I requested, see here. * - Messed up column/boxes for "Campeonato Brasileiro Série", see here. * - Tags requested for footnotes that made absolute statements of fact without sources, see here.
 * – per WP:CITEVIDEO, we need to know roughly when in the documentary is this info cited.
 * – looking at this tells me nothing about the source. Please make a complete one and spell out the publisher. Source seems unreliable.
 * I found it in the past cited by Bleacher Report, and I trust them.