Talk:Pneumonia/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Sahara4u (talk · contribs) 07:57, 11 November 2012 (UTC)

Lede

 * century as "the captain of the men of death", the advent of antibiotic…. The quote should be referenced. You may link here
 * Ref are not really needed in the lead as long as it is supported by the body. Added the ref. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:34, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * Link chronically ill


 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:34, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * Ref# 5 doesn’t cite the text.


 * Fixed with better ref Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:34, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Bacteria

 * "Bacteria are the most common cause of community acquired pneumonia,…."→ community-acquired pneumonia….. and also link it
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Viruses

 * Commonly implicated agents include: rhinoviruses,[13] coronaviruses,[13] influenza virus,[22] respiratory syncytial virus (RSV),[22] adenovirus,[22] and parainfluenza.[22] Both ref should appear 1 time at the end of the sentence.
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * sub groups →subgroups


 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Funji

 * "……. with weakened immune systems due to AIDS, immunosuppressive drugs, or other medical problems. The pathophysiology of pneumonia caused by fungi is similar to that of bacterial pneumonia." →This may need a reference.
 * DOne Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:06, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Parasites

 * "A variety of parasites can affect the lungs, including: Toxoplasma gondii, Strongyloides stercoralis, Ascariasis, and malaria." → For consistency use either causing agent name (Ascaris lumbricoides, Plasmodium malariae) or disease (Toxoplasmosis, Strongyloidiasis)
 * Same for "…..particularly Ascariasis and Strongyloides,……." Check it, there may be others…
 * DOne Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:09, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Pathophysiology

 * "Some viral infections such as measles and herpes simplex may reach the lungs via the blood." …….may be "Measles and Herpetic infections may reach the lungs via the blood."
 * Changed so that the terms agree. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:12, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Diagnosis

 * This should be in sequence (investigations, physical exam, imaging and other lab test)
 * Not sure what you mean? Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:16, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "- including a complete blood count, serum electrolytes, C-reactive protein and possibly liver function tests -" ….. hyphens (-) should be mdashes (—) per WP:MDASH without space or spaced ndash


 * Fixed Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:16, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Still not done. It should be like this "and blood tests – including a complete blood count, serum electrolytes, C-reactive protein and possibly liver function tests – are recommended." Zia Khan 19:15, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Not sure what you mean. Like this? Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:54, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * A little more effort required here. They should be "tests—including" and "tests—are" or "tests – including" and "tests – are". Zia Khan 20:22, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Never use hyphens of any sort myself. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 22:35, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Prevention

 * "preventative measures [47], as…." ref should come after the period.
 * Not sure. Was it fixed Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:17, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Management

 * Pneumonia in chronically ill patients? You may add a little
 * We already touch upon "hospital acquired pneumonia". Which aspects are you wanting further on? Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 06:00, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Prognosis

 * "…..will stabalize in 3-6 days." → stabilize and ndash instead of hyphen
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:26, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "other lung problems recover may take more than 12 week." → recovery
 * "..... any underlying diseases, and age[70] – online calculator" .... make a note the online calculator
 * Not sure what you mean? Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:26, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "….. are S. pneumoniae, H. influencae and K.pneumoniae……" Since you have not abbreviated them earlier use both Genus and Species.


 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:26, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Do you really need calculators in the article? I think they should be at the end of the article. Zia Khan 19:03, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * The CURB is very easy to calculate. I think however that we should keep the other one. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 21:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Just remove those calculators because they are already linked to their main articles. Zia Khan 17:29, 24 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I guess. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 23:00, 24 November 2012 (UTC)

Epidemiology

 * "I n 2008 pneumonia occurred in approximately 156 million children…." Comma after 2008
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:20, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Images

 * All the images need alt text, except the lead image.
 * Done even for the lead image. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:42, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Notes and references

 * Notes --> References
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:19, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * References --> "Bibliography" making a new section
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:19, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Bibliography needs level 2 section. Zia Khan 19:29, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * We typcally keep references and bibliography together at WP:MED Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 21:12, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * You may add more categories.
 * Such as what? Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:19, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Overall, the article is fine, well-referenced (except a couple of phrases) and covers the topic significantly. I’ll take a look again once the above concerns addressed. Zia Khan 07:57, 11 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Thanks will take care of it when I get home in a couple of weeks. Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 23:33, 12 November 2012 (UTC)

Further Comments

 * “in 3—6 days.[71]” ---> 3–6
 * Done. But wasn't it like this before? Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * “follow up is needed,” ---> follow-up


 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * ….advent of antibiotic therapy and vaccines in the 20th century have seen ---> advents or has instead of have


 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * …… light of their being no greater clinical benefit.[20][63]  there?


 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * “An X-ray showing a white wedge in the right lung field of a chest X-ray.” ---> An X-ray: showing a white wedge in the right lung field of a chest.


 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * ……A pleural effusion as seen on chest x-ray. The A arrow…….. --->A pleural effusion: as seen on chest x-ray. The arrow A indicates fluid layering in the right chest. The arrow B indicates the width of the right lung. The volume of the lung is reduced because of the collection of fluid around the lung.
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * Age-standardized death from lower respiratory tract infections per 100,000 inhabitants in 2004.
 * Not sure what you wish changed? Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * May be "Age-standardized death: lower respiratory tract infections per 100,000 inhabitants in 2004." Zia Khan 20:29, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 21:08, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * ….., which had approached 30%, dropped precipitously in the developed world. --->…, had approached 30%, dropped precipitously in the developed world.
 * ? Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * No need of "which". Zia Khan 20:29, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 20:55, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * “A diagram of the human body outlining the keysymptoms of pneumonia” ---> key-symptoms
 * Fixed Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)


 * X ray ---> X-ray (in the alt text)
 * Done Doc James  (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Some of the above concerns still are not addressed. I'll take another look before passing/failing this. Zia Khan 19:38, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Final review

 * GA review (see Good article criteria and WP:GACN)


 * 1) Well written.
 * a (clear and concise prose which doesn't violate copyright laws, grammar and spelling are correct): b ''(MoS for lead, layout, word choice, and fiction:
 * 1) Factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (well-referenced): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (No original research):
 * 1) Broad in its coverage.
 * a (covers major aspects): b (well-focused):
 * 1) Neutral .
 * Fair representation, no bias:
 * 1) Stable.
 * No edit wars nor disputed contents:
 * 1) Illustrated appropriately by images.
 * a b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Result:No more issues, I guess. Good work, keep it up! Zia Khan 19:47, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Illustrated appropriately by images.
 * a b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Result:No more issues, I guess. Good work, keep it up! Zia Khan 19:47, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Result:No more issues, I guess. Good work, keep it up! Zia Khan 19:47, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail: