Talk:Proximal humerus fracture

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 26 November 2018 and 21 December 2018. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): ToureVashon. Peer reviewers: MannyMG85.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 02:48, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Improvements to page
Hello fellow wikipedians, I’m Toure Vashon, a fourth year medical student who will be working to improve this wikipedia page. As it stands now the info available works as a good overall summary. However, I would like to add more detail as proximal humerus fractures are an important topic. My tentative workplan is as follows:

Workplan done, outline done, and sources picked by 12/3 First draft of page done by 12/11 Peer review completed with discussion of possible edits by 12/14 Peer review done and new draft of page completed by 12/17 Wrap-up and final edits by 12/21

Looking forward to feedback and collaboration from others on the page to really help improve this! My overall goal is for this page to be a good reference for the general public.

ToureVashon (talk) 04:38, 1 December 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
Peer review of article as part of UCSF Fall 2018 Wikipedia Medicine Elective.

ToureVashon, this is a much improved article now that you’ve been working on it. The organization and amount of detail added appears to be just right. Each section is both informative and brief.

Minor points: “Signs and Symptoms”: if possible, link collateral circulation to its page or briefly explain what this means. Your article reads as if the audience are doctors. If however, the audience is the general population it may help to link obscure words/terms or briefly explain. A good example of an area where quick clarification would be helpful is “collateral damage.” You do a good job briefly explaining “greater and lesser tuberosities.”

Appreciate the feedback and agree that collateral circulation isn't friendly to the common reader. Went ahead previously and tried to make it more reader friendly.ToureVashon (talk) 01:36, 21 December 2018 (UTC)

“Risk Factors”: Remove the bullet points. In regards to formatting, it would look cleaner if all the subheadings eliminated bullet points except for use when making a simple list.

Also agree with this feedback and is much cleaner without the unneccesary bullet points. Changed in a previous edit. ToureVashon (talk) 01:36, 21 December 2018 (UTC)

“Diagnosis”: The end of the second sentence ”…unable to position the shoulder for an appropriately.

Fixed! Good catch!ToureVashon (talk) 01:36, 21 December 2018 (UTC)

“Treatment”: your first sentence needs a citation.

Also Fixed! Thank you for the helpful feedback Manny! ToureVashon (talk) 01:36, 21 December 2018 (UTC)

MannyMG85 (talk) 16:44, 17 December 2018 (UTC)

Wiki Education assignment: Wikipedia for the Medical Editor
— Assignment last updated by Jcasto5 (talk) 15:18, 9 February 2024 (UTC)