Talk:Shaylee Mansfield/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 14:18, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

Overview

 * I'll take this on as part of the WikiProject Good articles/GAN Backlog Drives/January 2022. Mujinga (talk) 14:18, 24 January 2022 (UTC)


 * Article is stable, no copyvio, no pix. It is broad and focused, although obviously will in time need expamded if he public career continues. I'll put some comments below:
 * "Shaylee Mansfield was born deaf on April 6, 2009" - i'd prefer a secondary source here and also her instagram post doesn't actually say that she was born deaf
 * Well, I disagree. I think this passes WP:ABOUTSELF: it's not an exceptional claim; it only involves claims about her and events directly related to her; the account is verified so there's no doubt to its authenticity; and the article only includes two or three primary sources.
 * the ref issue
 * i don't know if we really disagree, i am fine with the self-source but a secondary source when available would be better, anyway for now it's fine because everything is referenced Mujinga (talk) 12:03, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
 * "the aggregator again commended " - why again?
 * Well, because the article already discusses a previous praise from HuffPost. It's not strictly necessary, so I've removed it.
 * "Mansfield is recognized among the "audible" voice actors for her "sign over" performance in the episode, which may be a first for deaf actors" - I'd prefer it to say something like thought by the reviewer from The Wrap to be the first, to avoid it seemign like original research
 * actually googling around on her i found this recently published salon profile which says she was born deaf and says "The show is billing it as the first time a signing performance (a sign-over) is credited alongside speaking performances (voice-overs)."
 * Salon.com ref and revised prose
 * "Mansfield hopes that her success demonstrates to Hollywood executives the value of diversity in the industry" - just becuase the previous sentence is about her asking instagram to change policy, i think it's worth emphasising "her successful career" or similar here, in case the success is construed to be about the previous sentence
 * lastly the lead - why former youtuber? and actually her youtubing isn't mentioned in the body
 * Wait, I can't remember... bear with me...
 * OK, I've made the YouTube information more obvious and added that her involvement ended in 2019. She actually doesn't seem to fit the definition of a "YouTuber" so I've changed it to YouTube personality
 * cool Mujinga (talk) 12:03, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
 * "Mansfield garnered further recognition by starring in Disney's Noelle (2019) and Netflix's Feel the Beat (2020), 13 Minutes (2021), the second of which made her one of the youngest deaf actress to play a main role in a feature film." this reads weird, almost like "13 Minutes (2021)" got plopped in??
 * Ah, that's leftover from when 13 Minutes wasn't in the lead. I've revised it. (I mean, I don't know what "plopped" means so I'm just guessing.)
 * could add a sentence summarising the "Public image and beliefs" section
 * that's what i got, putting the article on hold to await replies Mujinga (talk) 14:57, 24 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Hopefully, all ✅. Pamzeis (talk) 02:51, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Re-ping: . Pamzeis (talk) 02:51, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
 * nice work, i made a few copy edits see what you think, the only one that has any bearing is changing "implored" to "asked" for encyclopedic tone. congrats on the good article, i hope you and others will be able to keep it updated if mansfield continues to be in the public eye - born 2009 and she has already done so much! Mujinga (talk) 12:03, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Re-ping: . Pamzeis (talk) 02:51, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
 * nice work, i made a few copy edits see what you think, the only one that has any bearing is changing "implored" to "asked" for encyclopedic tone. congrats on the good article, i hope you and others will be able to keep it updated if mansfield continues to be in the public eye - born 2009 and she has already done so much! Mujinga (talk) 12:03, 25 January 2022 (UTC)