Talk:St. Valentine's Day (30 Rock)/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 02:25, 1 April 2010 (UTC) Hi. I'll be reviewing this as part of April's GAN Backlog Elimination Drive. See Talk:I Married Marge/GA1 for my GAN setup. I've placed the article on hold; good luck improving the article. The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 02:25, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

  • I'd suggest adding in what number the episode is overall in the series continuity; i.e., "It was the 11th episode of the show's third season and the whatever episode overall."
  • In the plot paragraph, replace the semi-colon with a comma.
    • Done.
  • In stead of "Nielsen ratings system," I'd suggest "Nielsen Media Research."
    • Done.

Plot[edit]

  • @The whole of the first paragraph: What? Very confused here... Can you clean it up and make it more clear?
  • I'm not feeling very solid about the rest of the prose in this section. Can you touch it up a notch?

Production[edit]

  • Everything in the first paragraph after the first sentence is unsourced.
    • It really doesn't need to be sourced, common sense, but removed.
  • Surely there's a source that Kenneth is played by McBrayer? In fact, here's one off the top of my head.
    • Do we really need a source?
      • Everything in an article should be sourced except for the plot summary, IMO.
        • I forgot to update this. I added a source.
  • "The episode was shot" → "The scene was shot"
    • Done.
  • Join the last paragraph with the McDonald's one.
    • The McDonald's thing and the deleted scenes are way different things.
      • I just thought because they were each about filming, but whatevs.
  • "In one of the cut scenes, was a conversation" Cleanup
    • I think I got it.
  • A little too many commas in the last sentence.
    • I think I got it.

Reception[edit]

  • Ratings thing: same as in lead.
    • Done.
  • In EW's review: "theme; however,[...]"
    • I don't know what you mean, can you explain?
      • Oops, never mind; read it wrong.

Images[edit]

  • No infobox screencap?
    • Don't know what image to use, so. Also, I don't want to violate the non-free content criteria.
      • How about this? It can meet the NFC criteria because it details how the apparent "product placement" was used. It's fine though if you don't want to use it.
        • Seems durable. What should I say for the caption? "Jack and Elisa buying McFlurry's and spending Valentine's Day together"? Also, one of the reasons I don't add a screenshot, cause I'm not good in "brainstorming" a readable caption. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 14:45, 2 April 2010 (UTC)'[reply]
  • PD Jon Hamm image is fine.

Final say[edit]

Alright, I'm satisfied. Good job, I'm passing the article. Thanks for taking care of the issues. Cheers, The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 20:43, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review, Flash, I appreciate it. :) --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 00:29, 3 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]