User:Al E.

Among other things, I categorize myself as:
 * Father
 * Husband
 * New York Giants fan
 * New Jersey native (I never knew how much I loved Taylor ham until it wasn't easy to get)
 * Resident of Maryland
 * Former Blogger
 * Sudoku addict (in recovery)
 * Afflicted with photoptarmosis
 * Not afflicted with an irrational fear of my enemy's fake Vietnamese soup, aka FoeFauxPhởPhobia

Hanlon's razor

 * Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Wheaton's law

 * Don't be a dick.

Cole's law

 * Thinly sliced cabbage.