User:CapnPhantasm

= Welcome to Chris Irby's Wikipedia User Profile, v2.0. =

Who is Chris Irby? Glad you asked.

Chris Irby is a cis white male of indeterminate age who has an annoying habit of talking and writing about himself in the third person. He is an Aries and a recovering Baptist. He is liberally centrist in his politics, but by Texas standards, he is somewhere to the left of Lenin. He has a certain boyish charm that makes him irresistible to children, pets, and old people.

Chris Irby is currently engaged to an astonishingly hot nerd girl. Nerd love is the purest and most wholesome kind of love there is.

Chris Irby is a writer who has authored several plays (including Captain Phantasm vs. the Nefarious Dr. Noir, The Final Adventure of Hercules, and The Legend of Deadeye Mary) that have been performed at the Pocket Sandwich Theater in Dallas. He has also written a novel and several short stories that have been roundly rejected by publishing professionals, despite critical acclaim from his mom.

Chris Irby has been adding and editing content to Wikipedia since 2012. Although he is driven by OCD to correct any grammatical errors he runs across, he tries to focus his energies on topics that interest him. These include:


 * Crazy conspiracy theories, especially those involving the Knights Templar, Area 51, and shape-shifting lizard people who are using 5G towers to mind-control vaccinated people from Hillary Clinton's pizza dungeon.
 * Cults and weird religious practices.
 * Comic books -- super hero stuff to be sure, but his jam is weird, horror-adjacent stuff like Joe Hill's Locke & Key or Mike Carey's The Unwritten.
 * Fiction of all types, but especially fantasy fiction. (He's particularly fond of secret histories, which ties in directly to his obsession with crazy conspiracy theories.)
 * The stock market and investing. (His grandfather spent years trying to convince him to devote some time to church, the stock market, and playing golf. Some might say he was 1/3 successful.)
 * Publicly-trade companies. (See above, although his interests are generally drawn to businesses in which he has invested, companies where he has worked, or corporations that have behaved badly.)
 * Role-playing games, or RPGs as the cool kids call them. He fell out of this hobby for a number of years but got sucked back in during the COVID lockdown. Chris loves him some D&D, Savage Worlds, and just about any game that uses the Powered by the Apocalypse engine.
 * Other writers, especially those with a tendency for satire or snark.

Other fascinating and dubious facts about Chris Irby:


 * He is not now, nor has he ever been, "emo."
 * He has a singing voice that resembles the wailing of damned souls.
 * He shot the sheriff. But, and he'd like to make this perfectly clear, he did *not* shoot the deputy.
 * He is the walrus, kookoo katchoo.
 * He once divided by zero.
 * He used to think he had no discernable Texas accent, but a visit to Canada made him realize he actually sounds like Jethro.
 * He believes the children are the future.
 * His hobbies include writing slash furry Star Trek fan fiction and sitting on the toilet until his legs fall asleep.