User:Darkwarriorblake/sandbox

Media

 * From a presentation perspective, the media is all right aligned and seems to be either stacked on top of each other or pushed out of their respective sections. I'm on a higher resolution (2560x1440) and, as an example, it looks like this to me. The lower the resolution the more things fit but I would potentially suggest swapping the image of Soderstrom in the development section for this smaller one which is also clearer and forward facing File:Jonatan Söderström (Cactus) - Independent Games Festival 2010.jpg as the current one has him facing out of the article rather than in and is 90% not a picture of the main subject. I would also suggest left aligning both this image and the gameplay one, I think this would resolve much of the stacking problems. Left aligning the image of the assault would also prevent it being pushed down by the metacritic box.

Text

 * "The game takes place before, during, and after the events of Hotline Miami," add the year of release of the first game in brackets after it.
 * "The game takes place before, during, and after the events of Hotline Miami, focusing on the background and aftermath of the massacres committed against the Russian mafia in Miami by the previous game's protagonist, Jacket." suggested -> "The game takes place before, during, and after the events of Hotline Miami, focusing on the background and aftermath of the massacres committed against the Russian mafia in Miami by Jacket, the protagonist of the previous game."
 * {{tl|In the version of the game released on Steam, the player has access to a level editor, allowing them to create custom levels and share them." -> "allowing them to create and share custom levels with other players."
 * "The game was originally conceived as downloadable content for the previous game, with the project becoming a standalone sequel after the length of it surpassed the base game. " -> "The game was initially conceived as downloadable content for the previous game, but it became a standalone sequel after its length surpassed that of the original."
 * Multiple sentences starting with "the game", {{tl|"The game was first announced to be in development in December 2012 through Jonatan Söderström's Twitter. The game was developed to be the last in the series, with Dennaton incorporating all unused concepts from the development of the first game into the sequel. "}} -> ""The game was first announced in December 2012 via Jonatan Söderström's Twitter. Developed as the final installment in the series, Dennaton incorporated all unused concepts from the first game's development into the sequel."?
 * The lede has issues which stem from discussing release platforms in multiple places, both at the end of the 2nd paragraph and the end of the 3rd. I would maybe take a look at the 4th para of Spider-Man_(2018_video_game) and potentially merge the last two sentences of hte 2nd para into the third para.
 * "Both the player and enemies can be felled from a single attack. " - > "Both the player and enemies can be felled by a single attack."
 * "Additionally, the enemy AI is inconsistent, with reactions towards player action being varied." I think this is too vague, the first part sounds like it's broken, maybe an example of how it changes?
 * "Upon completion of the game, "Hard Mode" is unlocked for levels in which the player achieved a rank of C+ or higher." what does ranking involve? What are players scored on? What's the range of grading?
 * Sounds a bit marketing speak "Exclusively for the Steam release, a level editor allowing players to create their own levels is included." -> suggestion "The Steam version of Hotline Miami 2 includes a level editor, allowing players to create their own levels"?
 * "The plot of Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number is told out of order" -> "The events of Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number are presented out of chronological order" Is this what this means?
 * {{tl| Following the events of Hotline Miami, the player character, "Jacket",[a] has been arrested after being manipulated into killing off the leadership of the Russian mafia by 50 Blessings, a neo-nationalist terror cell that masquerades as a peaceful activist group, leading to him gaining nationwide infamy.}} -> "After the events of Hotline Miami, the player character, 'Jacket,' is arrested, having been manipulated by 50 Blessings—a neo-nationalist terror cell posing as a peaceful activist group—into assassinating the Russian mafia's leadership, which leads to his nationwide infamy.""
 * {{tl| the background and the aftermath of Jacket's rampage.}} remove the second "the"
 * The whole second paragraph here is a bit wordy. Here is a suggestion for the whole section ""The game follows several playable characters through a series of intersecting plotlines that explore the background and aftermath of Jacket's rampage. 'Beard,' the shopkeeper from Jacket's hallucinations in the first game, serves with him in a commando squad deployed in Hawaii in 1985. Operating simultaneously with Jacket in 1989 are Jake, a nativist member of 50 Blessings, and Richter, a reluctant operative of the same group, both committing their own massacres, with Richter being coerced. In 1991, a group of copycat killers known as The Fans try to emulate Jacket for attention. Meanwhile, the Son of the Russian Mafia boss from the first game aims to restore the Russians' power against the Colombian Cartel, assisted by The Henchman, who seeks retirement. Martin Brown, a sadistic actor, uses his role in the in-universe film Midnight Animal to fulfill his violent fantasies, while detective Manny Pardo employs extreme violence to deal with criminals. Evan Wright, a writer, seeks to document the massacres in a book."
 * {{tl|the Soviet Colonel – in an act of desperation – murders}} remove the spaces between the '—'
 * {{tl|but Beard manages to carry him to safety and save his life.}} - saying the same thing twice, carrying him to safety or saving his life are sufficient alone
 * {{tl|The trials also result in the creation of a film depicting him as "The Pig Butcher".}} who is this in reference to? It sounds like it's meant to be Jacket but the prose makes it seem like it's about Evan?
 * {{tl|Evan is given leads by his friend Manny Pardo, a police detective who uses his position to go on killing sprees during stakeout operations, justifying them as self-defence,}} needs a full stop instead of continuing on to talk about Richter.
 * {{tl|The aforementioned film's star, Martin Brown, dies when he is accidentally shot by an actress with live ammunition on set of the film's final scene}} I assume this is talking about the Pig Butcher? I'm a bit unclear why we're jumping from the trial, to Evan, to the film, back to Evan, to two otehr characters and then mentioning the film again. It might be that way in the game but we can take some liberties to present events in a sensible reading order unless the jumping about is essential to the narrative. I would maybe move the first mention of the Pig Butcher to AFTER Evan's mother coming from Hawaii, then we can introduce the film, the murder of Martin Brown, and the fans inspired by Jacket altogether.
 * {{tl|they are all killed except for Tony, who is personally killed by Pardo afterwards while attempting to surrender. }} who is Tony, Russian Mafia or a fan? Who is the "all" being killed?
 * {{tl|Meanwhile, the Son is trying }} "the Son tries"
 * {{tl| In their final moments, Manny Pardo }} we've gone from referencing him by surname to full name again, change to Pardo.