User:Stannell/Josh McCully

Joshua "Josh" McCully (born 19 December, 1992) is a British hairdresser from Huddersfield, West Yorkshire. He first attended Linthwaite Ardron Memorial Junior School from 1998 - 2001. He ended his education at Shelley College, stating that he was "too good" to get his English and Maths GCSEs. Josh was confirmed by a psychologist to have displayed psychopathic tendendencies. Josh apparently choked to death after trying to "down" a large burger in one bite on the 27th of January 2012, it was estimated that around 3 people attended his funeral, including the vicar. However it was later revealed that Joshua had been in hiding, and had asked his sidekick James Wilkinson to help Joshua fake his own death in order to hide his shame for publicly messing himself.

Background
Josh is mainly recognised for several small appearances in the British comedy Last of the Summer Wine.He is a fan of The Bill and has watched it since he was a little boy. Josh is also a big fan of primeval on ITV. Joshua was once an apprentice hairdresser and his main goal in life was originally own his own salon in cyprus but then decided he was going to be a chef at an old folks home for the rest of his life instead.He used to own a 49cc moped thaqt sits nicely at 42 MPH. Recently Joshua smashed up his 300cc Gilera Nexus, and was riding a Yamaha VP 300 until 2012 when he bought a top of the range Ford Ka. Joshua's contribution to the well being of the Earth and the Human Race will be published in 2025 the 2page novel will detail every good deed Joshua ever did in his entire life.

Personality and Fame
Josh has been described by many critics as "annoying" and "vulgar". He rose to fame as the worst ever Halo: Reach player in the entire world. Joshua was praised throughout his life for his devotion to working with children, especially those under the age of 16. His taste in music varied throughout his brief life, as a child he was a big fan of Classical Music and wanted to be an astronaut and then, for no apparent reason other than a bump to the head, he became obsessed with pop music and his aspiration to go into space became an aspiration to prepare and eat food.

Sexuality
Josh's sexuality has been under serious debate ever since he was found naked in his bed after being heavily intoxicated and possibly spiked by one of his "True Mates".

Modelling Career
Josh had a brief Modelling career where he posed for Men's Health Magazine. Within which he did many naked shoots. He was voted "Body of the year" in 2009 for his famous "I eat babies" photoshoot. However he was fired from working with the magazine when he was caught in the company kitchen unconscious after eating the entire staffs' supply of food for that month. McCully was arrested and sent to prison, however he was released after a week because he was considered "too creepy for prison" by his fellow inmates who refused to shower with him. It was decided that the best course of action was to get the Queen to give Joshua an official pardon. Queen Elizabeth II accepted this request citing that it was best for the country.

Awards

 * 2003 "most dramatic barnet" (Awarded to him by Claire Brewster of Scissett Middle School)
 * 2007 "Most improved student" (Awarded at Shelley College)
 * 2009 "Most improved student" (Awarded at Shelley College)
 * 2009 "Body of the year" (Awarded by Men's Health)

You Tube
Josh has had minor roles in various You Tube videos including a film about child abuse with bb guns.

Presumed Death
The truth surrounding Joshua's presumed death still remains a mystery, it was presumed that he choked whilst trying to eat a Big Mac in one bite. However he was later found to just be in hiding due to suffering a massive Diarrhoea attack.