Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Rex Ryan/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Karanacs 16:47, 14 June 2011 [1].

Rex Ryan[edit]

Rex Ryan (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): The Writer 2.0 Talk 16:45, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because...I feel it meets the criteria after having undergone extensive work. As one of the most boisterous yet successful personalities to headline the NFL, Rex Ryan would have one more thing to boast about if given a bronze star. The Writer 2.0 Talk 16:45, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:58, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • Source for coaching record?
  • Why not include both authors for citations to Play Like You Mean It?
  • Page ranges should use endashes
  • Italicization in references needs fixing. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:58, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Image review

The three photos check out with appropriate licenses, however, the second (File:Rex Ryan.jpg) should not have a period at the end of the caption because that is not a complete sentence. Imzadi 1979 → 17:11, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Link review

The external links come up fine with the tool. There is one disambiguation link that needs to be fixed. Jim Caldwell redirects to James Caldwell, which is a DAB page. Imzadi 1979 → 17:11, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

All the aforementioned issues in the source, image and link reviews have been corrected. Thank you for your reviews! -- The Writer 2.0 Talk 18:26, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments –

  • In the lead, the abbreviated version of NFL should appear after the first full use (in the opening sentence).
  • "which has included two back-to-back AFC Championship appearances in two consecutive seasons." Lot of redundancies in this sentence, between "two", "back-to-back", and "two consecutive seasons". How about "which has included back-to-back AFC Championship appearances in the 2009 and 2010 seasons."?
  • For the quote at the end of the lead, MOS:QUOTE states that quotations inside of a quote should have one quotation mark, not two. Even if it is that way in the source, a reasonable allowance for style fixes is permitted in the linked style guide.
    • For this one, I meant that the quote inside of a quote should have one mark on each side. This means that there should be one mark at the start, and a single and double mark at the end of the sentence. Sorry if the original comment was confusing. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 01:08, 8 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • College: "At Kentucky". Isn't it Eastern Kentucky? Kentucky is another university.
  • "Ryan was the Sooners' defensive coordinator...". Since the first name of the college isn't given anywhere, I would add Oklahoma to this sentence, in front of the nickname.
  • National Football League: Minor, but the semi-colon before "Ryan's only Super Bowl ring" should be just a regular old comma.
  • Pro Football Weekly should be italicized since that is a magazine.
  • Add a semi-colon before "however" in the fourth paragraph of the NFL assistant coach section (x2), plus one in the fifth paragraph? Alternatively, you could use "but" for one or two of them for variety. In general, these "xxx however, xxx" bits need work.
  • Head coach: "Accepting the offer, Ryan immediately began to carry out a platform he outlined for the franchise's future, team building." Something seems off toward the end of the sentence. Is it the comma?
  • Should game in AFC Championship game be capitalized? I do think it's commonly treated as a proper noun...
  • Don't need two Patriots links here.
  • Book: Sports Illustrated needs italics as well.
  • References 5, 21, and 55 have only Ryan's name, and not the co-author's. Is that intentional?
  • References 7, 17, and 33 have page ranges, which should have pp. in them, not p. as they are now.
  • Last but not least, almost half of the references are to Ryan's autobiography. This is a very large percentage, especially for a modern sports figure whom sources can readily be found for. Basic facts like background details are not a problem, but I'm more concerned about assertions like "his success as a defensive coach can be attributed to this compensation." Things like this need attribution to Ryan. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 01:44, 6 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for your comments Giants! There are some things that you cannot find through other sources however, I believe the percentage is so large because the autobiography was used to chronicle the team's past two seasons under Ryan which were abbreviated in the book but had all pertinent information. However, I do understand the concern and I would have no issue finding other sources if that is what should and needs to happen. -- The Writer 2.0 Talk 11:00, 6 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
The autobio refs actually concern me as well, and actually keeps me from wanting to do a full review. Some additions for early life/personal info is fine, but for a head coach finding online refs is no trouble at all, so if nothing else it should not be used during his Jets tenure. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 02:51, 8 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I have managed to significantly cut down the number of refs that are from his autobiography. -- The Writer 2.0 Talk 20:04, 10 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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